Post # 1
We are eloping with 4guests, our families do know so I have nicknamed it ‘eloping with notice’ but gess it could be classed as a tiny non local wedding, anyway the key point is there are only 4guests on family or bridesmaids.
Anyway the bugdet was tiny £1000 (about$1600) to cover the wedding, hotel for eloping, small boquet, clothes, after party/reception /bbq for 100 guests and spending for the honeymoon for one week B&B. The problem is after my partners ill healthwe now only have £200 left. luckly I have my dress and fi has a kilt, the rings are sorted and the legal paid but we now have to chose honey moon or party?
The family want us to have a party they say but they dont want help, we have two very close set of friends were we live who will make up a large part of the 100 wanted party guests (we are bikers and live in a co-op our friends are closer then family). we want to celebrate with them but not so much with our families but our families are pushing for a party……
But if pay for a party we wont have any honeymoon spending money but 90%of the B&B’s are being paid for by my mother who may change her mind on paying if there is no party but if we have the party there is no spending money (which we need to cover food and fuel to go away). We have been together 7 years to the day when get married and have only been away on hoilday twice for a week with family to see family, them four day weekend camping with our son. we have neaver stayed in a hotel orB&B together. since our son was born 5 years ago we have not had more then weekend to just the two of us so to have a week honeymoon seem like a dream.
so do we pay for a party be left with a honey moon with no spending money so we cant go….. or do we say no party see if my mum still pays towards the honeymoon as our wedding present …or I dont know we say no party and hope that we can put together at least a small honeymoon with the money we have left and not celebrate our marriage. I just dont know any ideas?
Post # 3
Can you clarify…did you say that your family wants a party but they DON’T WANT HELP or DON’T WANT TO HELP?
I would think if they were saying they wanted to plan the party with no help from you, you could use your savings for the honeymoon as planned.
Maybe solicit advice from your friends…explain your situation and see what they think. If they know you choose to forgo a honeymoon to put on a party maybe they’ll be more inclined to give you money gifts for your honeymoon (just being a bit manipulative over here) 🙂
ETA: Do whatever makes you happy. If you really prefer a honeymoon over a wedding party and don’t have anyone stepping up to plan this party that you’re not even trying to plan…go for the honeymoon.
Post # 4
@icetea: yep the family want a party but they dont want to help plan, set up or put towards a party if we have one. To be honest we had no engagement celebration because no one wanted to help or cared. they are not in least bit interested in helping because its not a big white wedding like the rest of the family have had but as soon as we said we were eloping it was all ‘YOU should do a party after to celebrate’. But we have to sort and pay for it all so they can party on our behave.
Honestly I think we know we would rather have a honeymoon over a party but is that ok to say no to a party because we want a honeymoon?
Post # 5
If you want the honeymoon, go for the honeymoon! If your family wants a party, they can plan and pay for it 🙂
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Honeymoon! And just remember… it’s okay to go on a delayed honeymoon. We did a two-night mini-moon right after ours, and waited 5 months to go on the honeymoon.
So- if your Mum pulls out B&B funding from you… go away for a night or two, and save up for a later adventure! 🙂
Another option- could you do a casual potluck/BYOB close to where you live?
Post # 8
@rainbowbee: I vote honeymoon. It sounds like the family is wanting you to keep up with the Jones’ when you cannot. It could mean not doing a destination wedding, but something small that you can afford, followed by your own private getaway.
Post # 9
I just had a friend throw a beautiful wedding followed by a potluck in the neighbourhood that was so much fun!!
Post # 10
Firstly Thank you all for your support
We have been talking and we are going to put the money into the honeymoon. Rather then us thowing a party or doing a pop luck party that we have to over see.
we ask every one we wanted to invite plus the family to join us in a celebration picnic. we have access to a private park that backs on to were we live, we send invites out saying: we invite you to bring a picnic and join us at the park at a set time. those that turn up turn with there own food, drink and a blanket. That way there is no cost to us other then for our picnic and our drink. all we need do is send out invites. I dont think there is any need to over see RSVP’s, if they come then theyey come if they dont then we have not laid out all our honeymoon money. Its a party of sorts but no fuss or real cost to us.
We still get a honeymoon 🙂
Post # 11
Honeymoon! 110% you deserve it. It’s not like you are doing a big ceremony but not doing a reception. Tht would be rude. But the whole point of eloping is to keep it simple!