Wedding and Fiance based in France…. May 2 wedding

posted 10 months ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

My wedding is on the 31/05/2020 and we’ve spoken about wha tto do if we have to postpone…. I would much rather wait and do all it together rather than get married on that day and have a party afterwards because I think the whole excitment of the one day is what I want more than having to do it separately..

Post # 3
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Under normal circumstances, I’m not a fan of married now, big celebration later…BUT…these are not normal circumstances.  A big and happy celebration when this mess is all over may be just what people need.  I feel like we all need something happy in our lives to look forward to in the coming months!

Post # 4
Member
2199 posts
Buzzing bee

If he is currently in France and you are currently in the US, then waiting this out is your only option.  Stay here.  He needs to stay where he is.  Let’s hope things settle down in a few months.  That’s wishful thinking.

Post # 5
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
gimmepretty :  this.  I doubt you will be able to get to France and frankly I think it would be incredibly irresponsible to if you are even able to.

I’m sorry this is all happening at such a critical time in your relationship, but this is the reality right now. 

Post # 6
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

This is my first post on these boards but I had to comment on this just to sympathize! I’m an American living in the UK but my visa is up at the end of this week. My fiance is a UK citizen and we’ve been trying to get married as quickly as possible to minimize any time spent apart but the original plan, which involved me going to the US for about six weeks and coming back with a fiance visa, looks like its completely out the window. I’m dreading a situation where we’re separated indefinitely for months on end.
As far as the gap between civil marriage and a big wedding/ceremony, I’ll probably eventually be in a similar situation. I was thinking we’d get married legally first as a formality and not really mention it to anyone, and we’d still think of it as part of the engagement period. I would personally just think of the social gathering as the real wedding, after which I would consider myself newly married. I think the thing that made me comfortable with that was that (in the UK at least) you can change your name weeks/months/years after marriage, so I could wait until the wedding to become Mrs ____ (though that’s not super helpful if you’re not planning on changing your name!).

Post # 7
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

…can you edit posts? lol 

I just wanted to add that my comment makes it sound like I’m flying to the US later this week, but thank god that’s not going to be the case.

Post # 8
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
youreaghost :  I’m just curious how things will work for you, if your visa expires at the end of the week, will you be staying illegally? Or… ? And is getting married at a regristry office right now not an option? 

View original reply
jscjsc :  I would be looking into getting married by proxy now, because it would matter more to me to be legally married (especially right now) than anything else, and you going to France may not be possible (or the city hall could be closed by the time you get there). No, I do not think the excitement of the big religious ceremony will be diminished if you’re already married. There’s something special about making vows in front of your friends and family (and in your religious traditions, if you believe), and that specialness will still be there in 6 months, or however long, because you haven’t yet done those public things. I’ve attended religious ceremonies for friends who were already civilly married and they were every bit as exciting and emotional and wonderful as any other wedding.

Post # 10
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
youreaghost :  

I was thinking we’d get married legally first as a formality and not really mention it to anyone, and we’d still think of it as part of the engagement period.

Never a good idea , married is married, no matter how the ceremony was attended and now in these  strange times you don’t have resort to this subterfuge,  everybody will understand  the diffculties you faced.

Just read your update  –  I am so sorry about   your situation,  so hard  …

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