Post # 1
My situation is a bit unique….
1. my fiance is French living in Paris and is not a U.S. citizen, I am American, and our wedding is supposed to be May 2 in the south of France.
2. It’s apparent our wedding will have to be postponed which isn’t stressing me as much as it probably should. BUT our civil ceremony being postponed is a huge deal… the longer we wait for that, the longer we will be long distance and away from each other.
3. we have waited to do the big wedding together with the civil ceremony and have sacrificed our distance so that we can get married the way we dreamed. As that big wedding is quickly starting to get away from us, we have accepted the civil ceremony and the religious ceremony/big wedding will be months apart from each other.
4. There is a HUGE possibility the city hall will close and we will not be able to get married civilly…. like I said, this means we will continue to be distant for even longer
5. We have done 5 years so far and were so excited the beginning to the end of the LDR would be in exactly 1 month and 17 days from today
lets hope we can still get married civilly at the end of April like we planned…….
6. on top of everything, it feels so terrible that my fiance is banned from entering the country….. I know he didn’t have plans to come visit me but the connotation of him being banned sounds so scary and just awful….
QUESTION FOR YOU:
What do you think about getting married civilly in April and our religious/big wedding happening in October? Will the excitement of being officially married be worn out by the time October comes? I suppose not fully worn out because the honeymoon phase will still be in full effect but I believe the excitement of the big wedding day is that we will be MARRIED. And since we will have been married for about 6 months the excitement on the day will just not be there… I see it will feel like a sham to myself. What’s the point of all of the money and big festivities if we have been married for 6 months already? I know the religious ceremony is still a big deal to us…. but …. I don’t know…. what do you think?
Post # 2
My wedding is on the 31/05/2020 and we’ve spoken about wha tto do if we have to postpone…. I would much rather wait and do all it together rather than get married on that day and have a party afterwards because I think the whole excitment of the one day is what I want more than having to do it separately..
Post # 3
Under normal circumstances, I’m not a fan of married now, big celebration later…BUT…these are not normal circumstances. A big and happy celebration when this mess is all over may be just what people need. I feel like we all need something happy in our lives to look forward to in the coming months!
Post # 4
If he is currently in France and you are currently in the US, then waiting this out is your only option. Stay here. He needs to stay where he is. Let’s hope things settle down in a few months. That’s wishful thinking.
Post # 5
this. I doubt you will be able to get to France and frankly I think it would be incredibly irresponsible to if you are even able to.
I’m sorry this is all happening at such a critical time in your relationship, but this is the reality right now.
Post # 6
This is my first post on these boards but I had to comment on this just to sympathize! I’m an American living in the UK but my visa is up at the end of this week. My fiance is a UK citizen and we’ve been trying to get married as quickly as possible to minimize any time spent apart but the original plan, which involved me going to the US for about six weeks and coming back with a fiance visa, looks like its completely out the window. I’m dreading a situation where we’re separated indefinitely for months on end.
As far as the gap between civil marriage and a big wedding/ceremony, I’ll probably eventually be in a similar situation. I was thinking we’d get married legally first as a formality and not really mention it to anyone, and we’d still think of it as part of the engagement period. I would personally just think of the social gathering as the real wedding, after which I would consider myself newly married. I think the thing that made me comfortable with that was that (in the UK at least) you can change your name weeks/months/years after marriage, so I could wait until the wedding to become Mrs ____ (though that’s not super helpful if you’re not planning on changing your name!).
Post # 7
…can you edit posts? lol
I just wanted to add that my comment makes it sound like I’m flying to the US later this week, but thank god that’s not going to be the case.
Post # 8
I’m just curious how things will work for you, if your visa expires at the end of the week, will you be staying illegally? Or… ? And is getting married at a regristry office right now not an option?
I would be looking into getting married by proxy now, because it would matter more to me to be legally married (especially right now) than anything else, and you going to France may not be possible (or the city hall could be closed by the time you get there). No, I do not think the excitement of the big religious ceremony will be diminished if you’re already married. There’s something special about making vows in front of your friends and family (and in your religious traditions, if you believe), and that specialness will still be there in 6 months, or however long, because you haven’t yet done those public things. I’ve attended religious ceremonies for friends who were already civilly married and they were every bit as exciting and emotional and wonderful as any other wedding.
Post # 9
as of today the European border is closed…. so now neither of us can get to each other and get married civilly…… this is such a mess.
Post # 10
I was thinking we’d get married legally first as a formality and not really mention it to anyone, and we’d still think of it as part of the engagement period.
Never a good idea , married is married, no matter how the ceremony was attended and now in these strange times you don’t have resort to this subterfuge, everybody will understand the diffculties you faced.
Just read your update – I am so sorry about your situation, so hard …