(Closed) Wedding and Reception Questions (complicated!)

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 4
Member
6210 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

For the first look, it should be fine if you see each other in the morning and then get ready- does he have somewhere else he could get ready (like a friend’s apartment?) and then come back for your first look, or meet you at city hall and do a first look there?

If you can figure out exactly what will happen at the ceremony, it might be nice to make a little program for your parents so that they know what is going on and what is being said if you could do an english translation.

I think renting out a restaurant sounds nice! It would probably help you to start by figuring out which traditions are a must for you to include for it to feel as close as possible to what you had always imagined, and then work from there. Hopefully if you include what’s most important, everything else will fall into place and it will still make you feel like a bride, even if it is not what you had once expected.

I definitely feel you on the dificulties of mixing French and English guests. At my (eventual) wedding, we will have my SO’s family who are mostly from Quebec and speak English with varying success (but some speak none at all), and my family all only speaks English. I’m probably going to have to do a lot of translating throughout the night!

Post # 5
Member
6210 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I just saw the second part of your post- I do not think it is unreasonable AT ALL for you to have a hotel room on your wedding night and your guests should understand. I would not want to spend my wedding night on the floor in my office, and I doubt they would want that for you.  Your guests are adults, they don’t need their hands held and should be fine if you meet up with them the next day.

Assuming your guests can get in and out of your building without you, maybe you can make a list of places they can go for breakfast (with some helpful french restaurant-related phrases for your parents!) so that they don’t feel like you’ve left them to fend for themselves. You could also suggest places they can go for a walk, etc. while they wait for you to come back.

Maybe to convince your fiance, you can ask him if he’d want to be in the next room over from his sibling/child on their wedding night- you could suggest to him that it might even make them feel uncomfortable or guilty that you have to sleep on the floor. Tell him you want to have him all for yourself and not to have to worry about keeping your relatives awake that night ;). 

Post # 6
Member
5 posts
Newbee

I don’t know about all the traditions and family stuff, but I do have a suggestoin for your “first look”

 

Why not find a nice park near to your apartment.  Have him (your fiancee) get ready before you, and then wait for you at the park while you get ready.  Then you two can see each other for the first time in a beautiful setting, and your friends and families can be nearby, or watch from a distance.

Post # 7
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think your wedding will be lovely πŸ™‚

I would push getting a nice hotel for the two of you. You are already being wonderful hosts by giving your apartment to your guests, and I’m sure for your wedding it would be nice for you to get ready without a crowd of people and do a nice first look. It’s your wedding, not just a normal family visit, so you are entitled to some space and alone time with your Fiance. You’ll be spending all day with the family, they can do without you for the night.

I’d go all out on the food if I was you – it will make the day feel more special, and there is no language barrier in enjoying it – everyone is happy. I like your restaurant idea, can’t go wrong with a nice 4 course meal! I’d also do brunch the next day with your family somewhere nice, that’s more of the traddition in France. 

I’m not too familar with you region in France, but is there anything special in the area to do? Maybe you guys could find a cute town to walk around and take pictures while playing tourist. Maybe find somewhere nice that would do a little cocktail hour for you guys? 

Post # 8
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Hi JoBoom, you posted on my restaurant reception thread. I see you’re struggling with having only a few of your nearest and dearest able to attend. Maybe it’s cheesy, or maybe it’s just the 21st century —  but could you have some people attend via Skype for a toasts or something similar? I know. There are time difference issues and some techie things  and translation issues to work out, but if if I couldn’t be at the wedding of someone I loved I’d be thrilled to be able to have a glass of champagne in my pajamas to toast them.   

And definitely get a room for yourselves. It doesn’t have to be fancy or far away, but I can only imagine a little peace and quite will go a long way.

Post # 9
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I second the Skype invitees. My cousin’s husband is from Mexico and ALL of his family couldn’t make it to the wedding but they all skyped in. They had a little stand next to them, decorated and with the computer on it and his family and friends all got to watch. It was very emotional and his parents made a toasts too. They also had a bilingual wedding (he spoke very limited English, his parents spoke none, but most of the guests spoke limited or no Spanish) but the pastor was bilingual and said EVERYTHING in both languages. I think that a handout with the ceremony and the the translation would work too (like Miss Funnel Cake did!).I think your father reading would be so lovely, especially since the wedding is in your FH country, this is a way to let your family leave their mark on your wedding too.

As for things to do with your family, a restaurant sounds like a great idea and can make it feel like an official reception but how about some kind of “traveling” reception? I don’t know how traditional both of your families are but since your family has never been to France, why don’t you all rent a car, or a carriage to make it more princess like, and after formal lunch or dinner, go out in the city together (still in your dress!) you can get some awesome pictures, show off France to your family, and you can include any place or thing you want to do so it like a super reception. My friends did something similar in Chicago. They got married in the morning, went to a formal brunch (were they rented out a small room) and then rented three carriages that took them to Chicago landmarks, the aquarium, and the art museum. They went in the museums too and showed their families their fav exhibits. It was super them (they went to their 5 favorite Chicago places) and their families got to see the city with them.

Sorry this is so long!

Congrats on your wedding and best of luck!

Post # 11
Member
7694 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@JoBoom:  Wonderful!  It sounds like things have definitely come together for the two of you!

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