Post # 1
Long story short, my Fiance and I are going to Vegas in May to get married with two of our friends and possibly my older sister if she is able to make it. His cousin and his wife have said they want to fly out to be there as well. Our families have taken the news that we plan to go to Vegas instead of having a traditional wedding very well, and are all happy for us. My mother plans to hold a small reception in Florida for us this summer for my side of the family and our friends down there.
I want to send out wedding announcements to all the people we would have invited had we held a traditional wedding for two reasons: 1- the chapel will live stream the wedding and I want them to know so they have the opportunity to watch if they wish, and 2- we plan to create a wedding website with updates and pictures and video from the trip (we are taking a road trip out there) so they can feel a part of it. Everyone we’ve mentioned these things to is very excited that there will be opportunties to see parts of our wedding trip and ceremony.
My question is: how best to word the announcements? Typically I know they are sent out after a wedding takes place, but for the reasons above, we want to send them out in advance.
Post # 2
I would just email people about the website and live streaming very informally. if you send out paper announcements, people may think you are angling for gifts from them without hosting them. People won’t know how to respond.
Post # 3
So you want to send out an announcement that says – we’re going to get married and you aren’t invited, but check out all the fun stuff we did?
I would distribute the link to those closest to you via email with the date/time of your ceremony so they can watch if they want. I would send out wedding announcements afterwards with the link to your wedding website so they can see the photos etc.
On that note – Is the wedding website just for photos? Wouldn’t Facebook or Instragram be a better avenue for sharing photos of your trip? I’m just concerned that you are registered somewhere and by sending out the wedding website with the registry information, you’ll come across as gift grabby.
Post # 4
We are definitely not registering anywhere. My mother even asked me where we are registering for the reception she is holding and I said that we aren’t, since I don’t want to seem as if we expect gifts when we didn’t have everyone at a wedding.
Since we are road-tripping out there, which will take roughly two days, we planned to update the website as we go with photos and video, kind of a real-time blog of the trip. It would also have the time and info about how to access the live stream of the ceremony. My Fiance came up with the idea and those that he has mentioned it to were all excited about it–it’s a way to make our friends and family feel as if they are part of it even though they can’t be there (it’s not a matter of not wanting to invite them, it’s a matter of most of them not being able to afford the trip out. His cousin can, and so he is planning to come with his wife. We’d love to spring for our close family and friends to come out, but the reason for Vegas in the first place is not being able to afford a traditional wedding.) Instagram or YouTube might be a good place as well, but a lot of our family isn’t on those platforms.
Post # 5
Please don’t do this. I had a “friend” who sent me an invitation to watch the live stream of her wedding from Vegas and it’s really what earned her the quotes around “friend.” It really changed our relationship. I wouldn’t have minded hearing after the fact that she’d eloped in Vegas and that I hadn’t been invited. I know not everyone gets invited to everything. But it seems really fake and attention-seeky to basically tell me I’m not good enough to wanted there in person, but it’s ok if I spend my time and pay attention to you from a distance.
It’s really hurtful and I was talking to some other folks from the same social circle who feel the same way. No one tuned in to watch that (but we did start messaging each other laughing about it, in a really mean way, when it was time to log in).
Post # 6
I’m truly not being argumentative, but this viewpoint is what confuses me. Everyone we would make aware of this is a close family member or friend (had we had the traditional wedding, it would have been very small) and it’s in no way not wanting them there, it’s simply a matter of not being able to afford it and we’ve been very up front about this. If we had the money to host them in Vegas, we would have gotten married here.
If a friend or family member were doing this I would love to tune in and see their ceremony, as I understand how cost-prohibitive weddings can be. I feel like it is more rude to have the ability to stream it but not do so and exclude them in the one way they are able to participate.
Truly, I’m not arguing, just trying to understand this viewpoint.
Also, everyone has asked if there is a streaming/webcam option at our chapel (apparently I was the only one who didn’t realize this was a thing).
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2016 - Simsbury 1820 House
Quite frankly it seems like you were the horrible friend to your friend. That’s very nasty and petty.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t do a wedding website.
I agree with Drizzle:
I would just email informally.
Post # 9
sorry my emotions are not up to your standards. Gag.
you’re basically telling people to watch passively and not actually participate. it is cold and disconnected. It is also a little bit showy, like I am supposed to stop what I’m doing and watch you get married. Not interact with you, not actually take part. I totally get the finances but I’d much rather you did a local cake-and-punch reception that I could actually GO to than do the webcast thing. It’s like it is more important to you to get married in Vegas than it is to actually have loved ones where you can see and talk to them. And there’s a bit of arrogance where you don’t even give people the option of being there in person but expect them to be watching online.
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman
Wow, these responses. I personally would be happy to tune in to someone’s live feed of their wedding, I don’t take these kinds of things personally. Seeing how some people will clearly be offended though, I think sending out the link to your closest family and friends, and then a formal announcement after with link to photo gallery or website would be best.
We are eloping and sending out announcements after, which is also an invite to a small at home celebration and will include a website with more info and photos.
Post # 11
Everyone has the option of being there. As I mentioned, his cousin and wife are flying out. It’s simply cost-prohibitive for 99% of our family and friends to make the trip.
We did try for the cake-and-punch route. It would have meant having it at his parents’ house however, as they are the only ones reasonably near us with the space, and his mother was not thrilled with the idea.
Plus, it would have meant only having his side of the family there, as my family would have been unable to come without us paying for their travel and lodging from Florida, which we cannot do. He didn’t feel this was fair, and so we together decided on this option.
We are having dinner with his family to celebrate when we return, and my mother is having a small party for my side of the family in the summer to celebrate.
I didn’t even know live-streaming was an option until several family members/friends asked about it. And really, isn’t a wedding always stopping what you are doing to watch someone get married? I’m sure anyone who takes the time off to go has something else they could have been doing that day.