Post # 1
We’re only inviting about 50 people to our wedding. Mostly because of budget issues, but also because I think the wedding should be about the two of us and those nearest and dearest to us, rather than a big blowout with a lot of people we aren’t close too.
I’m not sure how this works…do we send the people not invited (grandma’s brothers and sisters, cousins, etc) announcements? Or does that look like we want them to send us gifts?
Post # 3
I’m sending out announcements to a few people I know would not come to the wedding even if they were invited. For instance, my grandparents are divorced and my grandfather remarried. He’s invited, and my grandmother’s invited… but the new wife is not. My grandfather was very upset so, to appease him, she will get an announcement after the fact.
Post # 4
I think that sending announcements will probably seem like a gift grab no matter what. We sent invites to people that we hadn’t met (grandmother’s relatives) and they complained about having to buy us a gift even though they didn’t know us. We didn’t ask them for gifts, we were just told to send an invite to them for announcement purposes.
Post # 5
Wedding announcements are just a way of letting out-of-town family know that you are now married. There is an invariable social rule that once you are married, you and your new husband must be invited to social events (like future family weddings) as a couple. Announcements are how you make sure that your new status is known.
Anyone who receives one, and doesn’t already know that gifts are not expected in response to a mere announcement, can trivially look that little fact up in their copy of Miss Manners. If instead they’d rather complain about you just wanting gifts, then they’re probably the kind of people who would complain about your standoffishness if you did NOT send announcements.
Post # 6
@aspasia475: Oh that’s true…didn’t think of that one!
Post # 7
we sent them out to a lot of people. i didn’t expect a gift for them, but some people sent them anyway.
Post # 8
Announcements are simply to announce the marriage and they can also function to let people know your new name (or if you changed it at all), how it’s spelled, if you moved anywhere, your fiance’s name (and spelling) etc. Unless someone is really unfamiliar with the custom (unlikely), they won’t be taken as a gift request or “nyah nyah nyah we had a wedding and you weren’t there” as some people fear!