Wedding anxiety

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
5582 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

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lissadiane :  

Have you thought about starting therapy sessions again? I feel like issues like self esteem and anxiety can always be a work in progress and I’m thinking you could benefit from starting your sessions again.

I’m not trying to write any of this off, at all, but when my anxiety is out of control, I book more sessions with my therapist. I think it could help you, the stress only gets worse as the wedding gets closer.

Post # 3
Member
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Honestly by picking a wedding location a 12 hour drive away just because, you should be grateful if your family attend. It’s a big time and financial sacrifice for them.

I think some counseling would help with the other issues.

Post # 4
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

First of all, I would say screw your family and elope. No one deserves to be treated like shit for doing what you want on your wedding day. So if they don’t like it, fine. No one is invited anymore. That way, you can do exactly what you want and not have to worry about anyone’s happiness but your own. 

Secondly, I agree with PP about amping up therapy, but you also need to remember one important thing. Fiance is marrying you because he loves YOU. Not the better version of you, but YOU. I can guarantee that no matter what you’re wearing on the day, Fiance (the one looking at you and the only opinion that matters) is just going to see YOU in a pretty dress. You need to try to let go of the doubt and self-loathing and remember that he loves you, exactly how you are. In the grand scheme of things, it’s one dress compared to the rest of your life together. It’s not worth what you’re doing to yourself! 

Post # 5
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee

Your family is being terrible. I’m so sorry to hear this. Just think about your feelings on your wedding day. You’re going to be so happy to walk down the aisle with the man of your dreams. And then you’ll be so happy to be his wife! 

If your family calls you selfish just say, “I know destination weddings are tough to attend. I hope you’ll be there but completely understand if you can’t make it.” 

Post # 6
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

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zzar45 :  that was entirely uncalled for considering her family dynamics. How rude.

Post # 7
Member
36 posts
Newbee

You knew when you picked your wedding location that not everyone you invited would be able to attend, and you were confident enough in your choice that the location was important to you, and if people couldn’t make it you’d understand. There is something about a woman on her wedding day, that no matter what goes wrong she will look like her beautiful self and you’ll still be married to your best friend. Don’t stress about what your mom has said, those who can make it, will. Destination weddings are kind of constructed to limit attendance by design. I am having a wedding where I live and guess what a good portion of the guests will have to travel 4+ hours to get there, it’s not a destination, but it does require time off of work, flights, or days traveling and money. Ignore your mom. Hopefully they aren’t all as mean as she is. Hopefully some of those people who claimed you were selfish, don’t come and just send you a gift. You’re not rude for having a destination wedding. You’re doing what you want, and you have to. Haters gonna hate, and you can’t please everyone ever, no matter what you choose to do with your wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
7892 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You’re getting married to your FI; yay! That’s what really matters. I’m sure you will (and already are) beautiful, and that has nothing to do with the dress or anything. It doesn’t matter what your family is saying about your wedding either.

Have you talked to your partner about these feelings? He should be able to keep things in perspective. I agree with PP too about getting counseling again. 

Post # 9
Member
610 posts
Busy bee

Wow your family seem horrible! I would just want to elope just the two of you as well!!! Going back to therapy sounds like a good idea. Your fiancé loves you and thinks you are beautiful, focus on the positives. I would not feel like inviting your family to the wedding at all and I would want to distance myself from them until they can learn how to treat you with respect. You need to stand up for yourself.

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