My Fiance picked out my Engagement Ring. We both thought he should. It is a gift from him, to me. We felt I shouldn’t choose it. (I also think he generally has very nice taste in jewelry, so my input was very limited – “oh, I like the solitaires!” and “Any bigger than xx and I think it looks too big on my hand.”)
But when it came time to buy bands… you bet I picked mine and he picked his. We went together, I tried on a bunch, and I picked what I liked best with the beautiful Engagement Ring he had selected for me. Then we searched high & low until he found a band that he loved. And I didn’t put a deposit down until he said “yes, I’m positive. This is it.”
That’s what made sense to us.
(His band easily cost 3x what mine did… I figured, it’s his only ring, he certainly is worth every penny I’m spending, so I’m not going to begrudge him a flashy band.)
ETA: I need to read better, I didn’t notice that it was becoming a touchy subject between you guys. I don’t think it’s worth pushing at the moment. A man’s pride is pretty important, and it sort of sounds like you would be wounding his pride by telling him that this ring isn’t good enough and you’d like another.
Perhaps, let him cool off. Shop for his ring together. Let him pick what he likes, as long as it is within your budget. Then, the next time your band comes up you can say something like “I had so much fun with you when we were shopping for your band. I’d like to have that kind of experience shopping for mine too. I know that you already picked one, and I was kind of opposed to it at first. I didn’t mean to seem ungrateful, I’m sorry I offended you. But, since we have such nice memories associated with shopping for yours, would you be opposed to looking to see what other bands are out there for me and how they look with my beautiful ring?”
That phrases the request as “I want the time and memories” not “I want more bling.”
If he agrees, let him find out about the return policy for the plain band and set a budget for your “new” band. If he says “no” – respect that, and maybe for an anniversary he’ll supprise you with a blinged out band!