Post # 17
I see what you mean, but I think the pros of WB far outweigh the cons. I appreciate honesty and even a good spirited debate once in awhile- but I don’t think there is ever a need for personal attacks and name calling. Like the rest of you have said, I think those types of comments/threads come from trolls and new Bees who simply are not familiar with how things work on the ‘B.
Anytime things get to the point that I want to quit, I just go on a WB hiatus for a few days and then come back. For the most part you girls have been very helpful and have opened my mind to seeing things in a way that I may not have otherwise.
Post # 18
@FutureMrsMartin- Haha! I thought I was the only one who checked ages when I saw something crazy! LOL.
Post # 19
Melissabegins–I second that!
Post # 20
Hmm, I have lurked for ages and just signed up about 6 months ago. I kind of like some of the changes to be honest. People are a lot more willing to be straightforward and speak their minds. Truthfully, some of us can’t distinguish between a difference of opinion and a personal attack.
Post # 21
I feel like there are a lot of people who come here asking for advice or opinions when what they’re really seeking is validation. Then they get whiny when we don’t tell them what they want to hear.
Post # 22
Jut read the other post by KMM…WOW is all I can say…I went to respond but Mr. Bee had shut it down…
I actually find myself on the nesting link a lot more now because (well for one i’m married now) whenever I go to give advice around the wedding-related boards, some of the comments are way over the line…
I joined about a year ago as well and Weddingbee had helped me soooo much with my wedding planning…I loved getting advice from other bees, so I probably wont leave it, but I do agree, I am seeing more harsh comments on these boards lately…I think partly due to trolls, party due to new users who don’t really know the weddingbee code…
Post # 23
@sailor: I agree!
We just have to remember that we are all different people! We come from different upbringings, cultures, lifestyles, etc…and in the end, that’s what makes WB so special! We should use that for our advantage, not to create issues.
Post # 24
I was beginning to think that since it was wedding season, people were a lot more sensitive and their nerves were bad or something. I was thinking that it would calm down once wedding season was over.
I always feel that I don’t know anyone on here well enough to judge or to know what they have been going thru. That is why I choose not to say anything negative to people.
Post # 25
I agree. I’m not sure if it’s because of certain posters who set the tone not coming on as often, or just the huge influx of people with different attitudes, but it does feel different.
I think there’s a huge difference between getting into an argument and defending youself/your point, which can be very pertinent in the right thread, to starting inflammatory threads/dramatically overreacting to threads. I think my biggest issue is how upset it makes people when they see something they don’t like and they just beg for the thread to be shut down consistently – as if it will make what offended them go away?
As Melissa said, it feels less like intelligent conversation, and more like a schoolyard fight.
Post # 26
Uh-oh. This dosen’t sound good and I just signed up 🙁
Hi everyone !
Post # 27
@babilu, totally agree with you.
Also I often find people often use the internet to express their “real” opinions because they can hide behind a username. Ah, the internet, where everyone can have an opinion.
Post # 28
I was beginning to think the same. I also use the “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” There are contructive ways to disagree with someone, and I think some were starting to forget their manners. There have been many posts where I started a comment, re-read it and thought it was too harsh and deleted it. I don’t want to offend anyone and definitely try to keep others’ feelings in mind before posting.
I’m sad to see some of the recent posts that have gotten out of hand, but I think the poster who talked about one bad apple had it right. I think most of the bees are able to have thoughtful discussion about things without offending.
Post # 29
I’ve only been on these boards for a few months, so I can’t speak to what Weddingbee used to be like. However, it’s very common (practically universal) for people to be shockingly cruel in online forums. I’ve never participated in any internet forum for more than a week or two because I’ve been put off by the nastiness exhibited by complete strangers under the veil of online anonymity.
By comparison, I’ve found the participants on this site to be largely pleasant and supportive. I can’t expect friends, family or even Fiance to care about the minutia of my upcoming wedding as much as I do, so it’s been a godsend to have an online community to get excited about the good, commiserate about the bad, and offer helpful (and usually very gentle and kind) opinions.
For those who think about leaving, browse other online communities for a few days and your faith in the goodness of this one will be renewed.
Post # 30
I kind of like it better now…..
Is that bad? I’m not one for drama, but before there was all this fake-niceness. Like people were afraid of having an opinion that was different from the OP, afraid to disagree in heated political/religious threads. Threads would get shut down at the drop of a hat, people would go back and delete their own comments. I think the brashness and lack of censorship is actually a welcome change. Sure, I hate all the cattyness, but I’d rather have cattyness than walk on eggshells.
Before, If there was a post I disagreed with (even when the OP was asking for opinions) I wouldn’t comment because I didn’t want to be snarky. I was afraid of having ANY kind of opinion. I think there is a lot more honesty and openness now.
Post # 31
I was on another board for years (NWR) and I’m with TEXASLAWGIRL on this one. I’d rather talk to real people and get real opinions than the fake-niceness.
Geez it looks like I missed a pretty good heated thread earlier. Re-cap??