(Closed) wedding blues… mother and MOH don’t approve!

posted 11 years ago in Family
Post # 17
8 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

Sticky situation for sure. Do you and your Fiance spend a lot of time with your family? I apologize if you have already addressed this but the more time you spend with them, the more time they have to get to know him and to get to know the two of you as a couple. Your mom might just be feeling left out, and knowing that you aren’t discussing the wedding decisions with your family as much as your FI’s family might be making the situation worse (unless she doesn’t know that).

My mom is my brother’s stepmom and when he was planning his wedding, she felt really left out because my brother wasn’t really sharing many of the details with her and my dad. My parents got married when he was 10 so she has been in his life for over 20 years. They just felt left out and wanted to be a part of it. They also didn’t know his fiancee very well since they only dated for about a year. She just wanted the chance to get to know her future daughter-in-law and share in the joy.

It is nice that they are concerned about you because it means they love you very much. Weddings are so trick because you can’t make everyone happy but you want it to be just as happy for your family as it will be for you. I am sure that the more they get to know him, the more receptive your family will be to the idea.

Post # 18
14 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

Difficult situation for sure…

fast engagements certainly can put family and friends on edge…those of us who have been around the block a little longer and farther than you have may have concerns about the quickness…relationships almost always start off hot and heavy, emotions are high and hope and optimism are high, as time passes, the real nitty gritty of life comes back; compatibility shows itself, feelings of real love appear, and emotions run deeper than the early feelings.

These are perhaps the reasons people around you are reacting the way they are, out of love and concern for you, to make sure you are sure for the rest of your life, to make sure you don’t get hurt, to make sure you will wake up the day after and not say “what have I done?”

If indeed the feelings you have for this man are true and real for the long run, then everything else will fall into place because those people who love you will know and sense that it is all good.

Patience is all that is needed in this scenario.

Good luck!  🙂

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