Wedding Budget Rant/Overview

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 2
Member
8258 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You should not ask them to contribute at all. If they offer you money, great. Plan to pay for it all yourself just in case something happens and money isn’t given or gets pulled last minute.

For your AI, that depends on where you’re flying from if thats reasonable. For me, flying out of western canada that would be a good deal. $300 is almost nothing if youre going to the spa or doing excursions though, maybe do a bit more research on what you’ll want to do there. 

Post # 3
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Have they ever indicated they intend to help pay for a wedding? It’s never a good idea to spend other people’s money for them–plan what you and your Fiance can afford. There are countless posts on this site from Bees who counted on contributions from others that didn’t work out as planned or came with too many strings.

Post # 4
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Let them come to you. If they want to volunteer to contribute, great. Do not ask/hint/imply in any way that you are seeking their help to pay. It is your wedding and you should always plan a wedding that you could afford without any outside contribution. Your wedding sounds very affordable. It seems very reasonable that you could pay for that on your own. 

Post # 5
Member
997 posts
Busy bee

I’m going to agree with PP – don’t ask the parents to contribute to the wedding. It’s one thing if they offer, but please don’t put them on the spot and ask for their money. They may have plenty of discretionary funds, but it’s *their* money, not yours. Also, know that if they do give you money, it may come with strings attached. So keep that in mind. 

Post # 6
Member
2096 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I also agree with PP, do not ask, instead see if they offer, but plan to front the cost of the wedding between the two of you.

I’m also a bit unsure where you got the numbers, it is VERY difficult to pull of an under $3,000 wedding unless it’s extrememly small in terms of guests. When my fiancé and I sat down to make our budget we realized we were quite naiive when it came to the costs of things like food, flowers, invitations etc. So just be sure you always leave some cushion in your budget for when things come up and always plan to spend a bit more than your budget so you don’t get in over your head! 

As for the honeymoon, it sounds like you found a great deal! 8 days and all inclusive is definitely worth the money 🙂 

good luck bee!

Post # 7
Member
5757 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Peesonally I would never ask or advise someone to ask their parents to split it 6 ways. This is your wedding, you’re planning it and so it’s down to you and your fiancé to pay for it. If your parents want to offer you some money that is one thing but I think it’s immature to ask them how much they want to give you.

Post # 10
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
gaminggoddess :  Great. They will approach you and let you know if or what they may be willing to contribute and under what conditions/terms. Otherwise plan what you can afford on your own.

$3,000 doesn’t go very far in wedding world–what type of wedding are you considering and for how many people? Bees have planned everything from backyard BBQs to six figure ballroom events and can be very helpful with working through budgets from renting chairs and tents to food selection, music, etc. 

ETA: Just saw your last post. The point we are all trying to make is if you’re old enough/ready to get married you should be able to pay for your own wedding. Asking people does put them on the spot, if they want to help they will surely offer and even if they offer you should make sure you have enough money to cover it on your own regardless–things happen, people get mad and withdraw their funds, or they’ll give you the money but only if you invite everyone they’ve ever met and agree to use their best friend’s cousin’s photographer who has never shot a wedding before. There are countless such stories on this board. 

Post # 12
Member
2096 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
gaminggoddess :  sounds absolutely lovely! Congratulations on your engagement bee! 

Post # 13
Member
3028 posts
Sugar bee

$2700 seems rather low for a wedding budget, but I’m guessing it might be more of a very small/intimate courthouse-type wedding?  I’m sure you’re done your research but you might want to confirm your numbers and don’t forget to add in for things like tax, service charges, tips, etc.  If you were hoping to split the $2700 wedding budget 6 ways (you, your Fiance, Mother-In-Law, Father-In-Law, mom, dad), it sounds like the budget needs to be pretty tight and avoid unexpected expenses.  

EDIT: you posted again, and explained a bit more about your wedding, so ignore most of what I said!

Alternately, you could just be extremely sensible and frugal.

$2900 for 2 people/all inclusive/for 8 days seems like a good deal.  I think $300 is on the low side for budgeting extra honeymoon expenses, though.  A resort spa treatment can easily be $150 for a massage or $50 for a pedicure!  (I had a romantic vacation in Hawaii with an ex several years ago. My ex kept booking spa treatments for me without checking the prices.  I had some amazing spa treatments… and my ex got some major sticker shock when we checked out!)

 

Post # 14
Member
1206 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t plan to split it in any way. If your / his parents offer again, I assume when you’re in a conversation about wedding planning, ask them how much they would like to contribute, and take what they are willing to give. 

 

Post # 15
Member
1206 posts
Bumble bee

Also $3200 for two people for an 8 day holiday including flights and accommodation and meals etc sounds like a very good deal to me. Why don’t you ask him what HE thought would’ve be an appropriate amount and where would you go with that money? If he had an unreasonably low budget, it’s better to make him realise it wouldn’t get him very far or very long.

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