Post # 1
So, one of my dearest friends is a baker and has offered to make a wedding cake as our wedding gift… which would be wonderful BUT… My Fiance and I don’t really want a cake. We’re not cake/cupcake/sweets people and we don’t get the whole “feed each other cake” picture.
But my friend really has her heart set on it. To be fair, the cake she has showed us looi beautiful (and she would like to use this as building her portfolio too).
What should we do?!
Post # 2
Just because you have a cake, doesn’t mean you must do the whole cake cutting thing. Your guests might enjoy some cake.
Post # 3
I think it’s a generous offer from a thoughtful friend. Nothing says you have to do the whole feed each other cake thing- you can just cut it and have the rest served. Your guests may enjoy something sweet after dinner. (I, too, have no interest in the feed each other cake, garter grope and toss, etc.)
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
We didn’t do the feeding cake thing (I loathe it!) – it’s not compulsory. As a PP said, your guests might enjoy cake (I love wedding cake, as a rule!) and it’s a generous and lovely offer.
Post # 5
It’s a free cake? Take the cake. For one, it’ll make your friend happy. Second, it’s not like you can say “no thanks to that cake, get me something else,” but turning it down will kind of feel like that to her I imagine. She’d also probably be kind of insulted, wondering if you aren’t confident in the quality of work. But most importantly, you won’t have a bunch of guests walking around at your wedding asking “where’s the cake?”
I am a dessert lover. Wedding without dessert?
Post # 6
Are you planning on having sweets at all at your reception? That’s usually my favorite part of the evening. Even if the food is subpar, a really good cake or sweets table totally makes up for it. If she’s offering for free then definitely take her up on it.
Post # 7
Ok… so my view on it is:
1 As PP’s said, you don’t need to eat cake but other people will expect/appreciate it. Don’t do the feed each other thing (totally with you on the WTF? factor regarding that tradition) but you can still have a pretty cake or cupcakes that go with your decor which your guests will appreciate.
2 A gift that helps build someone’s portfolio isn’t really all that generous, IMO. You should at least get to request what it looks like, tastes like, etc… That said, while on the one hand this is selfish gift, on the other hand it’s just petty to think like this and it’s not like she’s required to get a gift anyway… so you should probably ignore me.
3 If you dislike sweets, but are considering doing a breakfast/brunch the next morning.. perhaps she could bake muffins? It wouldn’t serve her portfolio much at all, but at least it’s a gift that actually saves you money/time/effort which means it has value to you.
Post # 8
We were planning to have sweets/dessert at our wedding because we know that our other guests would like them.
I guess my thought was that if we didnt do the whole cake cutting photo and the feeding each other cake photo then what’s the point of having the cake there? I wouldn’t want my dear friend to put all this time, energy, money into something that goes on display and then we don’t do those traditional photos that im sure everyone is expecting… then I guess we could serve the cake AND have the desserts/sweets we wanted?
I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where I was actually served the wedding cake. Maybe that’s just my wedding experiences though!
Post # 9
we had a friend make our main cake, then had a bunch of other desserts for a sweet table. Didn’t do a cake cutting or anything, and no one even noticed. Just put it out there and people started serving themselves. Don’t overthink it. Just tell your friend she doesn’t need to make something massive as you’ll have other options.
Post # 10
I have never been to a wedding that didn’t have cake.
free wedding cake- freakin awesome
Post # 11
If we didn’t want a cake and our friend offered it as a gift, I’d think it was a nice gesture, but ultimately I would want something else as her gift. We didn’t do a registry because we don’t really need anything cluttering our place right now, and if guests are to give us gifts, we would prefer money at this point. So I think a cake is nice, but if your heart isn’t into it, tell her you’ve decided on something else! 🙂
Post # 12
Cakes are awesome and can get pricey. If you let her know your decor vision, she can make it match. Win-win for both of you! It takes nothing away from your vision of sweets for your guests, it simply adds to to it. A sweet table PLUS a cake?? Score!
TBH, wedding cakes that are big and impressive are hundreds of dollars. That’s probably more than a gift should be from a friend, so I’d count the “overage” as her value for her portfolio and be okay with it.
Post # 13
As others have said, take the cake. It might be tricky if her cakes were awful, but if you like it then have it on display and cut it up with the other sweet things. I’m not all for the cake feeding thing either, just don’t do it.
Post # 14
I would just take the cake. You don’t have to do a cake cutting if you don’t want to.