(Closed) Wedding Cake as a wedding gift

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
927 posts
Busy bee

Just because you have a cake, doesn’t mean you must do the whole cake cutting thing. Your guests might enjoy some cake. 

Post # 3
1635 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I think it’s a generous offer from a thoughtful friend. Nothing says you have to do the whole feed each other cake thing- you can just cut it and have the rest served. Your guests may enjoy something sweet after dinner. (I, too, have no interest in the feed each other cake, garter grope and toss, etc.)

Post # 4
2715 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

We didn’t do the feeding cake thing (I loathe it!) – it’s not compulsory.  As a PP said, your guests might enjoy cake (I love wedding cake, as a rule!) and it’s a generous and lovely offer.

Post # 5
2551 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
futuremrspesci:  It’s a free cake?  Take the cake.  For one, it’ll make your friend happy.  Second, it’s not like you can say “no thanks to that cake, get me something else,” but turning it down will kind of feel like that to her I imagine.  She’d also probably be kind of insulted, wondering if you aren’t confident in the quality of work.  But most importantly, you won’t have a bunch of guests walking around at your wedding asking “where’s the cake?”

I am a dessert lover.  Wedding without dessert?

Post # 6
3895 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Are you planning on having sweets at all at your reception? That’s usually my favorite part of the evening. Even if the food is subpar, a really good cake or sweets table totally makes up for it. If she’s offering for free then definitely take her up on it. 

Post # 7
9406 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Ok… so my view on it is:

1 As PP’s said, you don’t need to eat cake but other people will expect/appreciate it.  Don’t do the feed each other thing (totally with you on the WTF? factor regarding that tradition) but you can still have a pretty cake or cupcakes that go with your decor which your guests will appreciate.

2 A gift that helps build someone’s portfolio isn’t really all that generous, IMO.  You should at least get to request what it looks like, tastes like, etc…  That said, while on the one hand this is selfish gift, on the other hand it’s just petty to think like this and it’s not like she’s required to get a gift anyway… so you should probably ignore me.

3 If you dislike sweets, but are considering doing a breakfast/brunch the next morning.. perhaps she could bake muffins?  It wouldn’t serve her portfolio much at all, but at least it’s a gift that actually saves you money/time/effort which means it has value to you.

Post # 9
285 posts
Helper bee

we had a friend make our main cake, then had a bunch of other desserts for a sweet table. Didn’t do a cake cutting or anything, and no one even noticed. Just put it out there and people started serving themselves. Don’t overthink it. Just tell your friend she doesn’t need to make something massive as you’ll have other options. 

Post # 10
9523 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I have never been to a wedding that didn’t have cake. 

Cake- good

free wedding cake- freakin awesome 

Post # 11
296 posts
Helper bee

If we didn’t want a cake and our friend offered it as a gift, I’d think it was a nice gesture, but ultimately I would want something else as her gift. We didn’t do a registry because we don’t really need anything cluttering our place right now, and if guests are to give us gifts, we would prefer money at this point. So I think a cake is nice, but if your heart isn’t into it, tell her you’ve decided on something else! 🙂

Post # 12
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Cakes are awesome and can get pricey. If you let her know your decor vision, she can make it match. Win-win for both of you! It takes nothing away from your vision of sweets for your guests, it simply adds to to it. A sweet table PLUS a cake?? Score!


TBH, wedding cakes that are big and impressive are hundreds of dollars. That’s probably more than a gift should be from a friend, so I’d count the “overage” as her value for her portfolio and be okay with it.

Post # 13
6262 posts
Bee Keeper

As others have said, take the cake. It might be tricky if her cakes were awful, but if you like it then have it on display and cut it up with the other sweet things. I’m not all for the cake feeding thing either, just don’t do it. 

Post # 14
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
futuremrspesci:  I would just take the cake. You don’t have to do a cake cutting if you don’t want to.

Post # 15
3317 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Free cake? I’m in!

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