(Closed) Wedding called off

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

DO you really want to deal with his mom for the rest of your life? Always feeling like she is more important to him than you are, and putting her wishes before yours? Because I can guarantee that this will continue to happen if you marry him.

If you can live with that, then stay. If not,  you should start making arrangements to find another place to live, or tell him to do the same

Post # 4
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

What do you mean, he’s all in your face?

Post # 5
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsSl82be:  100% agreed.  For lack of a better term, a “mama’s boy” won’t change. He will always prioritize her over you.  Someone who truly loves you wouldn’t be so dodgy anyway… you want someone who KNOWS they want to marry you.

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@MadameTussaud:  absolutely! get out of my brain woman! Wink

Post # 7
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsSl82be:  definitely.

Post # 8
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

@MadameTussaud:  Totally true

though in the end you are marrying the man you have to keep in mind that you are marrying IN TO the family… which means wether you like it or not you are going to have to either deal with the crazy mother in law for the rest of your life knowing that your potential husband will always prioritize her over you, choose her side over yours, and ultimately jump she she says and not when you ask politely… Even though that doesn’t sound peachy just imagine haveing a child and dealing with your Future Mother-In-Law telling your husband how to raise the baby and you having no say.

I am not saying that people don’t change, I am not saything that there isn’t a potential for him to see this from your perspective, eventually, maybe, but I am saying that for the most part a person that called the wedding off because his mother suggested it is probably not who you want to walk down the isle with. Just my thoughts, feel free to dissagree.

 

Post # 9
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Even if his mom is totally influencing him I hate the fact that anyone can influence a guy out of marrying the woman he truly loves. Maybe he had doubts before but is now voicing them after talking them through with his parents and getting advice from them. I don’t know but you definetly don’t deserve that. What a shitty thing to do to a person you love. Maybe you should leave for a week, not answer calls and take some time apart. Then see how he feels, if he still isn’t sure he wants to marry you then maybe it’s best to part ways. I am so sorry your going through this, its awful. 

Post # 11
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’d would be giving him the boot, without a doubt.

Post # 12
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

this is fishy.  any chance he met up with an old girlfriend during his visit? 

Post # 14
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee

I’d strongly suggest counselling, as someone who works as a counsellor a lot of these issues could probably be worked through in one or two sessions… At least to get him to a point where he can either figure out that he’s making a massive mistake, or better articulate to you what on earth is going through his head! You can maybe tell him that either he needs to talk to a professional or you’re going to walk away.

Being a mama’s boy doesn’t need to be a deal breaker, but he does need to learn how to recognise when she is being manipulative so he can still make his own decisions! It sounds like she’s the one with cold feet, not him!

I wish you all the best, this would be a heartbreaking situation to be in!

Post # 15
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

That is very strange. Whatever you do, don’t take him back just like that. He must love you to have proposed, but he needs to understand the emotional trauma he caused by breaking off the engagement, regardless of why. And he needs to learn how to react rationally to whatever comes up in life, whether it be communicaiton problems, or family needing financial help. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to postpone the wedding rather than call it off?! Weird. 

I’d be pissed at the way he handled things.

The topic ‘Wedding called off’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors