(Closed) Wedding Cards put in Card Box with cash, but not signed!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1134 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

O gosh, that it tricky. I havent gotten married yet, so i cant offer advice. But i would say def dont send a generic card to the last 8.

Maybe you can mention it to your immediate family, and they can pass it word of mouth to figure it out?

Post # 4
2685 posts
Sugar bee

If any of the 8 potential guests are family members, I would get parents involved.  If you were to ask the guests directly if they gave a gift, it may look impolite.  Parents can bring the issue up gently with family.  

Post # 5
892 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

This is a total shot in the dark here, since you don’t want to send a generic card saying thank you for your gift, maybe say something like:

“We greatly appreciate all the joy your presence brought to our special day

Love, Mr. & Mrs. Leyley”

Then it’s a vague enough thank you, to go to someone who brought the cash gift, and to someone who didn’t bring anything at all.

Post # 6
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Miss Manners may require the smelling salts after I say this, but this MAY be the ONE time I would be very tempted to resort to FB as a wedding-related communications tool. 

Perhaps a post such as:

“__________ and I are very thankful for something, but, unfortunately, we’re not quite sure whom to thank.  We were blessed to have received a wedding card that included a generous cash gift, but the card wasn’t signed, and there is no identifying information on the card or envelope.  If you brought a gift to our wedding but have not yet received a thank-you note from us acknowledging your thoughtfulness and think this COULD have been you, please contact us privately so that we may thank you properly! :)”

The right person or couple likely will volunteer to tell you the amount that was in the card. Even IF someone who did NOT give you a cash gift decides to “claim” this opportunity falsely and make themselves look good, and more than one person or couple responds, you will lose nothing by thanking more than on person or couple for the same gift. After all, the goal of making this information known is to try to ensure that you DO thank the right person, and that may be accomplished by making such an inquiry.

Post # 7
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’d probably send a picture of the card out to family (and maybe even post it on Facebook) with something like “Someone gave us this lovely card but it wasn’t signed. We want to be able to thank them properly – could you check with a few folks you’re close with and see if this is the card they gave?”


Post # 8
866 posts
Busy bee

I would send a thank you card to the last 8 just not mentioning the gifts. I have never received a thank you card that specifically thanked me for the gift i gave.

Post # 9
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I guess it depends HOW generous they were, but if I were you I’d send a generic thank you to all the remaining guests, thanking them for attending and sharing in your special day etc.

Post # 12
3258 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think your fiance is exactly right. Send a general thank you to the 8 people who are unaccounted for. It’s not like they’ll know its a general message (because even if you knew who gave you the gift, your thank-you would hopefully not note the actual AMOUNT of cash that was given). If someone receives a card knowing they didn’t give a gift, I don’t see how that can make you look bad.  If anything, it might make them feel bad for not giving anything, but this is the best way to cover your bases, IMO. 


Oh, and PLEASE don’t go anywhere near Facebook to help solve this.

Post # 13
661 posts
Busy bee

PROCESS OF ELIMINATION – Work out those who you know for sure got you a gift and a signed card. Any left, just give em a quick call or drop them a text and ask. Then you should have your answer 🙂

Post # 15
629 posts
Busy bee

Thankfully, time is on your side. You have 3 months from receiving a gift to send a thank you. Give it some time, watch the mail and (if applicable) wedding registries to see if any of the 8 send something after the wedding, and see if that helps narrow it down. I know it’s nice to do it ASAP, but sometimes thats not possible. If after, say a month or 2, you haven’t narrowed it down, then send a generic thank you to all 8.

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