Post # 1
Not sure how I write this so it makes sense – I have a woolly head today! Any advice would be appreciated.
My parents are paying for our wedding. It’s not that we can’t but more that they want to, it’s very sweet of them and we are both very grateful. And it means the budget is higher than we could otherwise afford. So who signs? Us? Or the person(s) paying?
When it’s come to contract signing this has made things quite difficult. All the contracts have been in the name of the Bride and Groom which I understand is obviously totally normal. It’s always been a little tricky getting it changed into just my parents name or at the very least including them. But we’ve come across one contract that I’ve been told is impossible to change.
I thought that the reason we signed contracts, amongst other things, was to accept financial responsibility. My mum has said that she doesn’t want anything to fall on us if costs began to spiral or, god forbid, something happened that meant we had to cancel the wedding. Again, very sweet of her.
I don’t understand why vendors can’t give us a contract with the person taking financial responsibility on. Florists do funerals, venues do birthday parties, photographers do corporate events – so a lot of their contracts won’t be in the name of the Bride and Groom. Why is it so hard?
Should I just take it on the chin and sign even though I know there’s no way I can pay? It’s a legal technicality, I highly doubt we will fall out to the point where Fiance and I decide not to go ahead or anything but it seems silly that I’m signing something that I can’t fulfill. From a legal point of view where do I stand?
(As an aside: some contracts don’t account for the fact that some couples choose to live apart before they marry which totally annoys me even though it doesn’t actually affect us)
Full disclosure: my mum is high maintenance and I have moaned about her more than once in the hive but this makes sense to me.
Post # 2
I think either you or your parents could sign and it would be fine, but if you’re concerned about legal issues, it might be safer to have your parents do it just in case. It couldn’t hurt, at least!
Post # 3
FI’s mother is paying, but Fiance and I (mostly I) have been signing everything. This is because we trust her implicitly, and I trust him implicitly.
I know that even in the worst case scenario of us calling of the engagement, he would never stick me with the contracts.
(And it goes without saying that we trust his mother to actually pay.)
Post # 4
We signed everything even if our parents were paying because we intended to and could pay for our entire budget on our own anyway so if our parents pulled out for whatever reason whatever.
You signing is only an issue if your parents don’t decide to pay. It’s up to you whether you think that’s an actual risk.
Post # 5
My parents paid for the wedding but my husband and I signed all the contracts. I 100% trusted that my parents wouldn’t pull their financial contribution. This was just the easiest way to do it.
Post # 6
The purpose of signing a contract is to say that you agree to whatever the contract says. If the contract says “I agree to pay….” then whoever agrees to pay is the one who signs. If you can’t pay the bill, you should not sign the contract. Sorry to be morbid, but what if something happened to your parents before the bill is paid? If they signed the contract, the bill would be paid by their power of attorney or estate depending on circumstances. If you signed the contract, you’re on the hook for it.
What kind of contract asks about your living arrangements? That seems intrusive.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center
My parents signed our venue contract and decorator contract because like in your case, they wanted to pay for a good chunk of our wedding expenses and had more of the ability than we did for the type of large Indian wedding they envisioned. I signed smaller stuff like photographer, videographer, DJ invitations etc and paid those deposits myself.
PS – a caveat here though is that Fiance and I live out of state from my hometown, where the wedding will take place. So I naturally had to relegate a few things otherwise we would lose the date.
Post # 8
We got a lot of financial assistance from my and DH’s family. We signed all of the contracts, and had our families transfer the money to us through our bank.
Post # 9
I’ve signed every contract, but we got most of the money from our parents up front. We opened a joint bank account and deposited our parents’ contributions into it to pay for the wedding from. Win-win!
Post # 10
I signed the contract. My parents footed most of the bill under one condition. They wanted us to put down the venue deposit. which was about $2K. They did that for my 2 sisters as well. They wanted us to have some skin in the game in case we cancelled the wedding. So once we put that down and signed the contract they paid off the rest.
Post # 11
pawneegoddess : Yeah, I figured either would be ok. But more that mum wants to be actually named on it.
duchessgummybunns : To be honest the most likely thing would be that my gandma died or something (she’ll be 92) but unless it’s on the day itself I don’t think we’d postpose.
curiouscat2017 : You’re right – no risk at all.
hikingbride : Thanks for letting me know, the more vendors we book the more I realise this might be the most straightforward way. Love your username! I did a 62 mile hike last year – no sleep and only stopping to eat.
Daisy_Mae : You’re totally right, I hadn’t thought about other issues at all. It wasn’t that it specifically asked it was more Brides Name, Brides Cell Number, Brides Email, Grooms Name, Grooms Cell Number, Grooms Email, Address. We live together but neither of my siblings did before their weddings (one is married and one engaged).
akshali2000 : I think that this is a good way to go. My mum signed the venue/cater contract which is the largest chunk of cash. We’re in the UK and whilst we’re not that far we’re not that close either. What is it they say? Americans think 100 years in a long time, Brits think 100 miles is a long way.
shyqueen12 : To be fair mum had already transferred the deposit to me so this makes sense
mlacake29 : Ooo – I like the idea of a join bank account. My dad gave me a second card on his credit card but I haven’t activated it yet.
everythingpink : I think that’s pretty fair. Fiance and I have a little bit involved. Mainly our wedding rings but they are about £1000 all in.
Thanks everyone for your input. I spoke to my mum and we both agreed it was all getting super complicated for the sake of “what-ifs” so I am going to pay the deposit and sign it ourselves – I trust my parents not to leave me with a massive bill.