Wedding cost reassurance?

posted 2 years ago in Money
Post # 2
863 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

happy27 :  Obviously this is a very personal decision, but i know that I also hate spending money, and thinking about spending around 5k made me feel anxious (wedding itself cost a lot more but my parents generously contributed… sorry to sound like a brat). However, it was totally worth it and definitely the best day of my life. Sounds like you are prioritizing photos, which is good because you’ll have those forever. Oh also don’t get your hopes up too much about gifts, but some guests (especially older relatives) will likely give you a card with $ at the wedding. I know that’s a taboo topic on here sometimes and you can never outright ask for money, but if you make a small registry, most people will give $ after the registry items have been purchased. Again, this is taboo to say, but we ended up breaking even. We had around 95 guests. However, even if we had spent the 5k outright, it still would have been worth it. 

Post # 3
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I haven’t been through this yet so can’t speak from experience but I think it’s worth spending a bit more for a day you’ll enjoy and for a planning process you’ll enjoy.

Post # 4
7038 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You need to do what makes you happy. The only exception is keeping your guests comfort in mind (ie: pleanty of seating, serving a meal if over a mealtime, etc). Outside of that, you should do what reflects you as a couple.

Here’s what I tell my clients. You need to be 100% happy about the decisions you’re making and how/where you spend your money.

If a client books me for photography and pays me $3500 when they had a set budget of $1500, not because they love my work but because they think it’s what they “should” spend, no matter how beautiful the photos are they won’t be happy. Not because there is anything wrong with my work, but because they don’t see the value in spending $3500 on photography.

It’s no different than any other aspect of your wedding. If you really don’t care about a cake, but you go spend $800 on a cake – it could be the most beautiful cake you’ll still look at it and think “what a waste”.

Post # 5
2318 posts
Buzzing bee

It its totally worth spending a bit more for a day that you will enjoy!  Its your wedding day, you will have these memories with your family forever!  You are already going to be spending a good amount of money, a bit more will go a long way!

Post # 6
4973 posts
Honey bee

Honestly it doesn’t matter if it’s $10K or $100K as long as you’re doing what you want and what you can afford. If you stay in those two parameters within reason it will be worth it. 

Post # 7
3302 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

You have to do what makes you happy. Sit down with your fiancé and decide what things are most important to you… those are the things to splurge on.

Post # 8
4973 posts
Honey bee

happy27 :  Also when it comes to wedding things if it’s only a tiny bit you’re going to save it’s usually not worth it to “cheap out”. A lot of things end up costing more in the long run if you’re being cheap. Not to be confused with frugal. Now for example, if you find the exact dress you want for half off. Yay! That’s great. But if you find a dress you love for $1000 and its perfect but you also find a just ok dress for $700,’ get the one for $1000. Because you will feel awful in the cheaper dress. Now see here it’s not about the money but what you want. If that same  $1000 dress goes on sale for $500, then still get it! 

Spend a little more to get what you want and cut in areas you don’t care about. 

Post # 9
13674 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You have to do what you want.  For me, it was a day surrounded by all my (very large) family and friends, and I live in an expensive city, so I knew it would be a pricey wedding and reception.  Could I have spent that massive amount of money differently? Sure, but I loved my wedding and wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Do what YOU want to do — don’t try to please others, don’t make it cheap for the sake of being cheap, but don’t just spend a ton of money because it’s a wedding. 

Post # 10
3450 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Whatever you do make sure you’re both equally happy with the decisions and they fit what you imagined for your day. At this point Fiance and I are about ready to scrap this wedding, send cancellation notices and just the two of us get married on what would have been our honeymoon cruise. Its not just the money factor that can make you think twice. If you had a certain type of event in mind but find yourself compromising to please others it can suck the joy and excitement out of planning. Spend money on what you feel is worth it. Everyones priorities are different so we splurge in different ways. No right or wrong as long as you can afford it.

Post # 11
997 posts
Busy bee

If you’re not going into debt over it, you are fine and deserve to enjoy your day. Remember that in 25 years, it’s YOU who is going to be looking back on this day and not anyone else who is going to be there. It’s you two who must live with this day for the rest of your lives. 

Post # 12
22 posts
  • Wedding: September 2017

happy27 :  I completely understand where you come from. Fiance and I are quite frugal and couldn’t justify spending a lot of money for a wedding. I bought a preowned dress for $200 and we started to plan our wedding trying to spend as little as possible.

We realized soon enough that in order to achieve our goal of a budget wedding, we (or should I say I) would have to spend countless hours planning, shopping online, visiting vendors, crafting, and watching YouTube tutorials, trying to master hair and makeup techniques because I didn’t want to pay for a MUA. 

Although some people find all of this very exciting, I didn’t. I hated the idea of spending most of my evenings and weekends dealing with every aspects of the wedding and knowing I’d spend the wedding day on the verge of an anxiety crisis. We decided to bite the bullet, because we considered the pricetag was well worth keeping our sanity (and our free time). 

We hired a wedding coordinator and bought an ”elopment package” in one of the most iconic venues of our city. We only need to show up the day of, relax and fully enjoy our day while we’re getting pampered. We don’t even know what the decor will look like: we gave her carte blanche. Our budget is now 2x what we wanted to spend initially, but it’s still low by these boards’ standards. But not having to constantly worry about every little detail (I’m a strong type A person) makes a world of difference. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever look back on what we spent thinking we should have been cheaper. This is exactly what we needed and wanted.

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