(Closed) Wedding Crashers?

posted 5 years ago in Guests
  • poll: How to best prevent wedding crashers?
    Be proactive. Call them up and tactfully clarify who is invited. : (9 votes)
    39 %
    Ask a family member to more subtly spread the word. : (5 votes)
    22 %
    Don't say anything. The invitation/wedding website should be clear enough. : (6 votes)
    26 %
    Turn them away if they show up. : (2 votes)
    9 %
    Hope no one extra shows up and offer them a seat if they do. : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 2
    30399 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    turtlebackb :  It is not at all uncommon to have to follow up, both with non- responders and with those who add in extra guests, much as you decribed.

    “We are so happy that you and Uncle John are able to attend the wedding. There must have been a misunderstanding The invitation was for the two of you. We are unable to accomodate the children. If this means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the wedding.”

    Post # 3
    352 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    Yea, I think it’s on you to proactively nip this in the bud. When you don’t have a response, follow up on it. If they make it sound like more people are coming, repeat who is invited.

    If you do all that and they still bring extra people then I think you can turn them away – but that’s only because they received really clear messages about who was invited and decided to go against it. If you just send the invitation and never attempt to contact them and they show up with extra people in tow I think you’re in a much weaker position to tell them to leave without it coming across as really rude.

    Post # 4
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I had the same concerns, including people bringing young children. We made it very clear on both the STD and invitations who were invited. We addressed both to Mr. and Mrs. or John Smith & Guest and then on the RSVP provided a line that read, “__ seat/s have been reserved in your honor”

    We had ZERO people try and add extra people. At this point, my wedding is this Saturday and if someone is rude enough to bring an extra person, they will be in for a rude awakening when they find out their univited guest won’t have a seat or a meal! 

    Post # 5
    327 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I would ask a family member (like your mother or father – whoever’s side the people you’re worried about are on) to stay on top of your suspects leading up to the wedding. For example, my husband has a cousin who is notorious for bringing her many young children places where they are not invited, so my Mother-In-Law made sure to somehow bring up that our wedding was adult-only every time they talked about the wedding. Kind of like you said – lament how the small venue limits your guest list and find ways to casually weave it in lol. We’ve all got those family members who manage to be dense beyond belief sometimes, so you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do. 

    Post # 6
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    The biggest help I’ve found got this is to mark the number of seats you are reserving with each rsvp. We are doing something along the lines of…



    # of guests: ___ of ___ (we fill in the second line)

    Delightfully accept

     ___ Dinner #1

     ___ Dinner #2

     ___ Dinner #3

    Regretfully decline


    Allergies or restrictions:________


    Please respond by Xx ##, 2017


    This way they get the idea, oh, we only have 2 seats, guess that means just us. And the fact that we need a head count for each dinner option will hopefully help with getting all RSVP cards back. Then it can make it easier to approach them if they put down extra meals. “I noticed you put down 4 meals, but I have two seats reserved for you.” 

    The topic ‘Wedding Crashers?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors