(Closed) Wedding date conflict!! I'm freaking out!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

How does your Fiance feel about it?  Depending on your Fiance, I’d just go ahead with your original plans since they were your plans and FI’s bro knew this all along.  maybe if you tell them yo can’t go they’ll change thier date.

Post # 4
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would first… take a breath.  This girl has changed her flippin mind three times already.  I’m sure she’ll change it more.  I would be honest.  YES we will be missing your wedding, we gave you 2 years notice about our plans.  It’s up to you to either work around it, if you would like us there, or if you don’t want us there…. do what you want.

period the end.  This is her problem NOT yours.  sheesh 2years notice and she’s still screwing it all to hell.

Post # 5
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I assume you have been keeping them informed of your plans all along. If so, it’s their choice to plan their wedding for a date when they know you can’t attend. So I would tell them that your plans are set and you don’t intend to change them. If they decide to have their wedding on a date that they knew TWO YEARS in advance you couldn’t attend, then what they’re saying is, “We don’t want you at our wedding.”

Post # 7
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Well to be honest, seeing as how they are really young and seem to be putting back their wedding, I wouldn’t worry about it for now. Do they have $8,000 to put down for a deposit? I would express my concern that you might not be able to make it, and hopefully they will consider another date.

Post # 8
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t change my plans. You had your venue and honeymoon booked first.  They can have their wedding whenever they’d like, but if they know it’s whnen you’re gone that’s their choice to not have you there.

Who knows what could happen between now and 2015 with 17 year olds…

Post # 9
541 posts
Busy bee

Yep, the “if” says it all. Stick with your plans. Don’t change for anybody, especially people that might get married, maybe, one day, heck they’ve already pushed it back some.

And I cannot stress this enough, stop telling people about the details of your wedding plans. If someone asks and you feel comfortable sharing, then share with them, but otherwise get the date out to everyone who is super important, that you couldnt imagine not having at your wedding, and the rest can find out next year. It is very easy to get burned out on wedding plans.

I haven’t picked a date or sent invitations, but I have a definite venue lined up and it is so unique and perfect and huge and inexpensive, I’m keeping it top secret, about five people know, besides me and FH, and they’re already married, so they won’t be stealing any wedding ideas.

Post # 10
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Carondelet House

Have your Fiance talk to his brother about it, and explain that your honeymoon is “us” time and you would be upset to be put in the position of having to choose between that and attending his wedding.  It’s unfair to put you in that position without a good reason (like upcoming deployment), and he should understand that.

Post # 11
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@bananacar:  You get one day, it sucks that you would need to either take a break from your honeymoon or cut it short, but it’s your FI”s brother. You don’t get to claim a venue as yours, saying no one else can marry at the same place, you also don’t get to claim the whole summer as your time. I don’t know why they pushed back the wedding, maybe they are working through something, or maybe they realized it was going to cost more then they initially thought, frankly, their reason doesn’t matter. 


Post # 12
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

So they’re 17/18? Oh I wouldn’t be too concerned. It doesn’t sound like this is a for sure thing at all. Go ahead with your plans and tell them that no, you wouldn’t be able to make it if they had their wedding then. They’ll probably change it again anyway.

Post # 13
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Just go on your honeymoon. Don’t bend your lives around them. It’s just a wedding!

Post # 14
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Also, just read the age 17, engaged after 3 months thing. I bet you ONE MILLION DOLLARS that the wedding never happens. Don’t get worked up in a tizzy over impulsive naive children.

Post # 15
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think she’s just asking! I think she’s not saying, “We’re getting married on this date”, but, “We’re thinking of being married on this date, would you guys be at the wedding because technically you’d be in the middle of  your honeymoon”

So you should respond long the lines of, “Yes, we would be on honeymoon and unable to make your wedding if it was on that date. Sorry but we’ve been planning this for a long time… ” etc etc 

50 days is a long honeymoon, but you’ve given them 2 years’ notice. And if for some reason that’s the only month that works (e.g. travelling relatives on her side), then stay on honeymoon. Honeymoon trumps someone else’s wedding, IMO, especially when you’ve given notice to people first.

Post # 16
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If they want you there, they’ll work around you. That’s what people do for their VIPs.

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