(Closed) Wedding date dictated by others

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
46334 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would not change the date . I would speak with my  Fiance and let him know that I really did not want to go back to work 2 days after the wedding and postpone the honeymoon.

I think that is a perfectly reasonable reason to stick with your original plan.

It’s only one person who has a challenge with the original date, and in my world her brother’s wedding trumps a concert by students.

Have your Fiance tell his family.

 

Post # 4
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

1st, I don’t think you’re being a “princess”. Weddings are a huge deal in my opinion and in the past whenever invited to one, ESPECIALLY a family member’s, I made sure to clean everything else off my schedule. However, I think that weddings are becoming less of a big deal to guests in a way and I’m seeing a trend of guests not taking them as seriously.

Personally, I would compromise and have the wedding on the alternative date. You are going to have to weigh having your in laws there against having the date you want and see which one holds more personal weight for you.

Like I said, for me it would be having them there, since I wasn’t emotionally or sentimentally attached to the date.

Also, it sounds like it sucks… BUT it actually may be nice to space out your honeymoon for some weeks after you return to work. If you get married and then go on your honeymoon right after, it all ends in a week or so. All the euphoria is lumped together. However, you can kind of…prolong your wedding bliss by taking the honeymoon a little later. Right as soon as the glow from the wedding is starting to fade a bit, YAY! you get to go on your honeymoon to renew it.

Also, you may have your Fiance mention something to his family. Not to guilt them, so he will have to make sure his tone and wording are correct, but just to let them know “Hey, I just thought you guys should know that Ticatica is making a pretty big sacrifice here to make sure you all can come. She’s really excited to join the family and it’s important for you all to be there.”

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i dont think you are being a princess – if the alternative is you return to work 2 days after the wedding for seven weeks before your honeymoon, i would stick to the date i first picked.  my thoughts is your wedding isnt for the convenience of others – its your wedding and you wont be able to please everyone so just pick your dates and stick to them.  goodluck!!!

Post # 6
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Tunacupcakes: i totally second you on spreading things out!  I had my wedding and honeymoon all rolled into one because i had a destination wedding and let me tell you, it is freakin’ depressing to be home and back to the grind with nothing to look forward after so much intense planning and build up!

of course, i don’t think you are being a princess at all about it. But i also kind of understand the concert thing. i can see how that would be important and she would probably feel like she is letting a lot of kids down by not going.  tough call for sure.

Post # 8
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@ticatica: Just go with the date YOU your hubby to be wants! Really, you cannot please everyone, we had ppl ask us if we could move our wedding to 2 hours later beacuase the time did not suite them- we hadn’t even invited them yet, and now, we are probably not going to ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

oops double post ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ticatica: If you feel completely comfortable with changing your date, then by all means do it.

However, I would kindly let Mother-In-Law know that her tone was rude and that in the future you will be making all the important decisions

Post # 10
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Honestly. I wouldn’t do it. Not only the whole going back to work thing would bother me but who is your Mother-In-Law think she is? Your SIL isn’t even in the musical thing so why change your dates for something she hasn’t even been a part of?

Post # 11
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

No, I just don’t think that’s a good enough reason for you to change your date. If it was something super important or she already had plane tickets to go somewhere I’d understand, but not for that.

Post # 13
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@ticatica: I say do what you want to do, if you really want the origional date, just tell them that you are sorry, but that you already have your venue booked and are unable to change the date, and if she balks about it point out that you had mentioned the date earlier and she never said anything about it not being  an ok date. It’s your wedding, you should do what makes you and your Fiance happy. I had a similar situation with my DH’s family demanding I change the date, but we didn’t, and things worked out for the best and me and Darling Husband were very happy with how everything worked out. Also I took my honeymoon and wedding together (only a week between) and I don’t regret it at all. Now it’s on to the next big adventure. And it’s really nice to be able to get settled in as husband and wife!

Post # 14
Member
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ticatica: Sorry you have had to deal with this foolishness. I say keep your date as is cause I feel if you give in, it will only be something else to come up down the line and they will expect you to give in again. Nip it in the bud now. Good luck.

Post # 15
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@bklynbridetobe: Bingo! See, that’s how I see it. If your Mother-In-Law can have you move the date of your WEDDING what else?

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