Post # 1
I have a bit of a problem and need some advice. My daughter and her fiance’ have been dating for 5 years. They were engaged in October 2011. My niece, who is the same age as my daughter, got engaged 2 months prior to my daughter. Since my niece got engaged first, they set their date first which is set for June 2013. My daughter originally said they were thinking of an October 2013 wedding, but did not set an official date. My daughter’s fiance’ then left for the United States Air Force, and things changed. They have really struggled being apart and would like to get married sooner than October. What works out best for them (financially and otherwise) is to have it in February 2013. My daughter would have liked for it to be in May due to the weather, but she had to take her cousin’s June date into consideration, as it was the proper thing to do in my mind. Is it wrong for her to have her wedding before her cousins, since her cousin was engaged first and set her date first? Also, is 4 months (and 2 seasons) enough time in between the weddings???
Post # 3
That’s absolutely enough time. You guys shouldn’t worry about it, and I’m sure your niece won’t mind one bit.
Post # 4
4 months is plenty of time and there is no reason for your daughter to get married after her cousin just because the cousin got engaged first.
Post # 5
PLENTY of time! I’ve gone to family weddings with less than a month in between and it was far enough to recoup and celebrate both equally.
Post # 6
Actually, I would have thought May would have been fine too.
Post # 7
Speaking as someone who is basically in the position of the niece in your scenario, I would have even been OK with her choosing May. i have a cousin who got engaged a month after me, and has set her wedding date 2.5 months before me- and the only reason there’s that much space between the two was venue availability on my side, it was going to be about 5-6 weeks separation. Basically we both realized that these were simply the days that worked for us- she has a military fiance too, and pretty much has only one day this year that will really work for her. I’m still excited for her, and so is our family. It might make some people have to pick one over the other to go to due to travel issues, but that’s just life. Tell your daughter not to worry- most people actively planning a wedding realize how hard it is to find a workable date and will realize she is not doing this maliciously.
Post # 8
Nope. All of my friends are getting married around the same time. You can’t put your life on hold for other people. When it comes to the wedding, being considerate of your nieces wedding is great, but I wouldn’t stress about having it earlier.
Post # 9
My cousin and I are getting married within a month of each other–we both understand that those are the times that work for us. Your daughter should do what’s best for her.
A friend of mine had a second cousin get engaged after her and then put the wedding on the same day — now THAT was a breach of etiquette.
Post # 10
It doesn’t matter who got engaged first, your daughter doesn’t need to plan her date around her cousin’s. My best friend got engaged in February 2011, getting married September 22nd 2012. My childhood best friend got engaged in May 2011, getting married August 11th 2012. I got engaged June 2011, getting married October 20th 2012. Another friend in the group got engaged Christmas 2011, is getting married September 8th, 2012. The last friend and her Fiance want to have another baby ASAP (their first is 2 years old). No one in our group is upset about her getting married before two of us because we understand them wanting to have their kids close together. Her cousin will understand that they want to get married quicker due to his work/life situation.