Post # 1
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
Well, I have been dating my now fiance for 5 years. My best friend has been dating hers for about 3. Both of us have been doing wedding talk for some time now with our loves. My best friend picks a date that she wants Sept 22 2012, and it has some numerical meaning to her. I start thinking about my date and decide on a date a few weeks before her date Sept 1 2012. This is the date my fiance and i started dating. (neither one of us were engaged at date decision)
She expressed her dislike with us having such close dates. I agreed to consider some other date. Well I get engaged, and now the date is the topic of discussion. My bff is persistent in me not having my date a few weeks from hers. We’d both be MOH’s in our weddings and I understand it could be hectic to plan.
But, the only months I will consider are March, May, July, Aug and Sept
March is too close, we don’t have enough money saved up. My parents are currently out of work for a few months and won’t be able to help with expenses either.
Sept would allow just enough time for my family to get ourselves together.
I don’t know what to do. Am I wrong for really not wanting to pick a date that is not Sept 1?
Post # 3
Member
1961 posts
Buzzing bee
You said that at the time of the original date choice that neither of you were engaged. Now that you are engaged I have to ask if she is engaged too? If she is not engaged yet and waiting on a proposal I don’t think she should be asking you to move around your date. Even so, I don’t think having a few weeks between weddings is too horrible. The only problem would be that it might put any mutual friends that you have in a bind financially for gifts or if you both want them to stand up.
Post # 4
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
it’s always said, you get one day, not a month or year for your wedding. three weeks apart is fine!
Post # 5
Member
5653 posts
Bee Keeper
If she is not engaged yet, it’s not really fair of her to demand you pick a date around her. What is she doesn’t get engaged this year?
That said, if it’s looking very likely she will be engaged soon (or is already engaged), and since you are her BFF… would a date in August be reasonable? 3 weeks is doable, but it might be hard for people to attend both weddings so close together. It’s your call.
Post # 6
Member
1445 posts
Bumble bee
I see both your sides. I would be concerned from her point of view because with your wedding coming up first, you will be busy planning your own wedding and then be on your honeymoon so you probably won’t be able to help her out if she needs help with any details.
Do you have any mutual friends? I would worry if you had out of town friends who would probably have to choose which wedding to go to.
But your date has significance, so I totally understand why you picked the date you did. Honestly, if it were me, I would try to pick another date because right now neither of you is going to be able to focus on being the Maid/Matron of Honor at each others weddings because you will have your own weddings to plan for. If no other date will work, she is your best friend and she will understand if you pick that date.
Post # 7
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
She is not engaged yet, but will be soon per her boyfriend. We only have one close mutual friend that lives in ohio, so yes for her it would be hard to attend both. However, her and I are not as close, So if she didn’t attend my wedding it wouldn’t bother me.
I do know it will be hectic and we probably wouldn’t focus on each others weddings as much as we should. I feel that because I am engaged first I should be able to pick what I want and she should have to work around me….
All in all its just difficult and I will probably settle for something else. It will still be wonderful no matter what!
Thanks for the input everyone!
Post # 8
Member
6391 posts
Bee Keeper
My best friend and I are getting married a month apart. It’s getting a little crazy, but it’s totally doable and nothing to worry about! Go ahead and get the date you want!
Post # 9
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
You’re her best friend and she said she has a problem with it. Do you really need to know what other people think? End of story in my book. Even if its TOTALLY irrational, she’s still your bff. Plus being a Maid/Matron of Honor is a lot of work for both you and her, and if you’re each the other’s it’s just going to be a stress fest. I know it feels like the date you’re fixated on is the only date in the world, but you’ll grow to love another one just as much. I promise, I had to chance mine too!