(Closed) Wedding date dilemna

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Well, the first thing that comes to my mind is that your friend’s might not be there.  Are they taking a honeymoon after the wedding?  Unless it’s a minimoon, they probably won’t be back in a week.  If your Fiance OK with not having his friend there?

If you are super close with the couple, then I do think a head’s up is in order.  They may want to postpone their honeymoon to be at your wedding.

I think alterning them to the close proximity of the dates and saying something like, "We understand this means you might not be able to celebrate with you on our day."

In general, I think guys are more easy going about this kind of thing.  Since you aren’t close with the other bride, she might not really care either.

Post # 4
Member
596 posts
Busy bee

Since this is your FI’s close friend, I would let him notify his friend via phone or in person if they hang out regularly.  He can just explain that this was the only available date at your dream venue.

Do you guys have a lot of overlapping friends?  If your weddings are too close together and require travel for those overlapping guests, keep in mind that some people may not make it to both weddings.  Also, make sure you plan it out so that you will still be able to attend their wedding and not worry about your own wedding and the last minute details.  

Post # 6
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

 I don’t think it should be a problem, but I can’t gaurantee the other bride won’t be upset.  From threads on weddingbee, some brides have a problem, even with loosely associated "other brides".  But I’ve known brides in this situation, and they have been fine.  It doesn’t even sound like too many friends will have to travel.  So most of the overlap guests can still make both.

The easiest part for the other couple is that your wedding is the week after.  That way they can feel like they have the spotlight first.  If there are any overlaps in attire, theme, ideas, etc.  they get the chance to unveil first.  If you planned your for the week before, you might have a less agreeable reaction.

Post # 7
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

Definitely let them know. I had this with my friend’s little brother, who asked MY brother to be a groomsman in his wedding, over a thousand miles away from mine, one week later. Apparently the groom came to my brother and said "Yeah, this is just the best time for us, we’re not trying to compete with December’s wedding at all, I’m sorry if it makes things difficult," and while I appreciate that, I still wish that they had spoken to me about it. Not that it would have changed anything, but I would have felt more appreciated and considered if they had acknowledged that yes, this does pose a dilemma for some of our mutual guests, no hard feelings. Also, if they are people that you would have invited anyway (it seems from your post that they are) be sure to send them an invitation even if you know they can’t come. That was another thing that my "rival" (j/k) DIDN’T do, and so I just felt through the whole process like they were effectively unaware that my wedding existed. It won’t necessarily be the prettiest situation in the world, but so long as you do your part in showing consideration, I don’t think you have anything else to answer for.

Post # 9
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am through the same thing with my sister. I just posted a thread today about it. Although they might not be happy about it, the least you could do would be to tell them. It will look like you are hiding it and being spiteful if you do not come out and tell them.

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