(Closed) Wedding date etiquette

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

The date has sentimental value to you, but you do not own the date. I may be the minority here, but I don’t think anyone should move their wedding date just because it’s too similar to too close to someone else’s.

Edit: I don’t remember dates. My very best friend in the entire world… I couldn’t tell you her birthday or her anniversary. It’s probably your friend doesn’t know or remember.

Post # 4
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MrConsiderate:  We all only get one day to ourselves to celebrate our love and marriage with those we love.  Afterwards, we honor our commitment to our spouse and cherish each moment.  Unfortunately, people are going to plan their lives regardless of the dates and what significance they may mean.  None of us can really expect anyone to check in with us first to get an approval.  You should support your friend in his upcoming nuptials as he did for you.  I bet you have some awesome advice and tidbits to share with him.  =) 

Post # 5
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Wait… seriously?

You are definitely being overly sensitive. He could have his wedding on the exact same date and it shouldn’t matter.

Post # 6
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m with previous posters on this one.  You can’t control what other people do, especially an entire year after getting married.  He didn’t even choose the SAME date as you, so I don’t see why it matters.

Post # 7
Member
7736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrConsiderate:  You are being too sensitive. He can have it on your anniversary if he wants. The day before your anniversary – absolutely no problem.

Post # 8
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with PPs. There are a lot of practical reasons that a close friend or family member shouldn’t schedule a wedding near yours. None of those reasons apply to your anniversary though. Your anniversary is a special day for you and your spouse, but you shouldn’t expect it to be special for other people.

Post # 9
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Wait a minute…. so in your book, you’re not supposed to pick a date that someone else has used? Seriously? I am getting married on my FI’s nephew’s birthday, which happens to be a day or 2 before his father’s birthday, which also happens to be a day after my friend’s birthday and is on someone in my family’s birthday. So what???

Do you know we didn’t realize ANY of that and didn’t care when we selected a date? We picked a date WE wanted (which was just a random day). No, they shouldn’t ask anyone for input on THEIR wedding date. The day doesn’t belong to you. It existed far before you did.

Post # 10
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Hyperventilate:  I agree.

Nobody can own a date, simply because it’s special to them. It may not be special to the other person. When you and your Destination Wedding got married, did you call every single person on your guest list to make sure that date was okay? I’m guessing probably not.

I am also terrible with dates, so it may very well be that he didn’t even know when your anniversary was…I don’t think it was inconsiderate of them at all…you also have a right to decide whether or not you want to attend the wedding…

Post # 11
Member
3262 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrConsiderate:  come gimme a hug, honeypie. You’re absolutely doing too much. 

Post # 12
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I could understand if it was your wedding date not your 1st year anniversary date. Honestly I don’t get why you’d care. What does it have to do with you? and you wanted him to call you and ask if you’re ok with it? What if your sister scheduled her cesarean the day before your anniversary, should she call you first to ask if it’s ok if your niece/nephew is born so close to your day?

Post # 13
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MissThespian:  I didn’t think of that. Did they consider anyone elses feelings when they chose their wedding date? Is it close to Aunt Sallys birthday? or the anniversary of her 1st husbands death? She might be upset that each year we celebrate our marriage she’s reminded of her dearly departed.

Post # 14
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@MrConsiderate:  as PP all stated, no, they do not have to check with you about their date. but, at the same time, they shouldn’t be surprised if you choose to celebrate your first anniversary instead of attending their wedding…

Post # 15
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

What?! Foot in Mouth

Post # 16
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yeahhh I agree with PPs.  I thought you were going to say that your best friend was getting married the day before you were getting married.  But what you’re talking about?  I’m sure he doesn’t even know your anniversary!

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