Wedding date headache. when to pick?!

posted 6 days ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Are you only considering thanksgiving? Do people need to travel?

To out it bluntly guests might be a bit miffed that you expect them to miss family thanksgiving celebrations for your wedding so you might have a high level of declines. Travel and hotels will also be a lot more expensive. 

Edit- just seen you have out of town guests who have significant travel, personally I would suggest picking another weekend. It just seems like an unnecessary sacrifice to expect from guests. 

Post # 3
Member
4387 posts
Honey bee

You seem to have a lot of out-of-town guests. Is there a reason why you are purposely picking the busiest travel weekend (for both air and road travel) of the year in the United States and one of the most expensive as well? Are there really no other weekends available? 

If there are literally no other dates available other than the holiday weekend, then I would pick the Sunday. Don’t co-opt other people’s holiday celebrations for your event. And the day before the holiday people will be busy preparing for the holiday and may be traveling to their relatives. I know I always took the day before Thanksgiving off because I had so much food prep to do in preparation for the actual holiday. It’s just a ridiculously busy couple of days for those who celebrate and are in charge of making the holiday happen for their family. 

Post # 4
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Is there no other option? With a lot of out of town guests, they are going to spend a fortune on airfare as it is the busiest travel weekend.

Post # 5
Member
6061 posts
Bee Keeper

I wouldn’t do it over the thanksgiving long weekend at all. Personally (as a canadian) I dont get the hype of thanksgiving in the US, but I know it’s a huge deal there. I think what youre asking is way too much for people that have to travel. That is one of the (if not THE) most expensive weekends to travel. Plus traffic, plus lodging, plus missing work, etc. 

eta – if people are also already making a fuss, it’s obvious they aren’t happy about this timing. Even more reason to pick another date. 

Post # 6
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

The travel bit depends to me. Are these friends/family who are traveling home (to the general area) for Thanksgiving, hence you wanting your wedding that weekend? If that’s the case, I’d do that Sunday. If you’re Jewish, people in your circle are used to Sunday weddings and what they entail. If you’re expecting people to travel to you and they weren’t planning on coming to that area for Thanksgiving, I’d 1000% pick another weekend. 

Post # 7
Member
920 posts
Busy bee

I would decline anything other than a family wedding if it would mean I’d miss my family’s holiday celebration. Thanksgiving Eve and Thanksgiving Day would be out for me. 

Post # 8
Member
277 posts
Helper bee

I would not attend a wedding that took place on Thanksgiving, and I suspect many of your guests will feel similarly. It’s a national holiday and many people spend it with their families.

Is there a saturday (maybe Nov 30th?) you can have the wedding so that people don’t have to miss work (potentially lost wages depending on their work situation) in addition to the cost of flight & hotel?

Post # 9
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee

I would never travel the week of Thanksgiving or the first part of the week after due to the expenses and the crowds. This applies to flying or driving.

Why does it have to be on these dates?

Post # 10
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee

 

daxsymbiote :  They are Jewish and cannot get married on a Saturday due to the Sabbath. Also, Nov. 30 is still part of the long Thanksgiving weekend.

Post # 11
Member
277 posts
Helper bee

katebluestone :  I see, I missed that part in OP that it can’t be a saturday. My thinking was more that people could then fly back on Sunday and not have to miss work.

Post # 12
Member
6734 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Unless you were family I would decline both Thanksgiving Eve and Thanksgiving if I were a guest. We host Thanksgiving at our house so the day before Thanksgiving is busy spent prepping dishes and cleaning the house. Then Thanksgiving is obviously completely out. So if I HAD to choose I’d go for that Sunday, but I wouldn’t be happy about that either. 

Post # 13
Member
1708 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I’d be irritated if somebody picked thanksgiving eve or day and wanted me to travel across the country. Pick a different week/weekend. 

Post # 14
Member
740 posts
Busy bee

sweetwedd6711 :  In the winter the sun goes down pretty early on Saturday – if I were you I’d still consider a saturday evening wedding as well. The Monday after thanksgiving is not a typical day to take off and some people might struggle with it

Post # 15
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Is this a family only wedding? That is the only way I see a wedding surrounding thanksgiving work. Sorry but I’d find a other weekend. Your dream venue shouldn’t trump your guests. If you care more about the venue, I’d just elope. I’m not seeing why a different Sunday is not an option. 

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