Post # 1
I hope this won’t be too long… please give me your opinions!! My fiance and I got engaged this November (2011) and wanted to get married October/November 2012 if possible. We scratched the idea due to budget reasons, but now we have been looking and with my parents helping us November 2012 is feasible. We are figuring out details before we decide to book anything in the next two or three weeks. Since I am a teacher my only times to get married are
1) Over the summer (would be nice but much higher guarantees and some higher prices where we liked)
2) Before Thanksgiving, Xmas, February Break (NO way I hate snow!), and before Easter
Right before Thanksgiving works best for us because the weather will be mild, and I will be able to take three personal days and then have Thursday (Thanksgiving) and Friday off so we will have time to go on our honeymoon the day after our wedding.
One of my fiance’s friends is getting married on November 10, 2012 (one week before our preferred date). They are not super close, same group of friends but see each other once every few months. His fiance and I are friendly, but we’ve never hung out alone (they also live over an hour away). I was wondering about their honeymoon plans because if they went away right after they probably wouldn’t be around for our wedding.. which isn’t a HUGe deal, but I was curious. I decided to text one of FI’s friends who I have become friendly with over the past 3 years. She wasn’t sure but said that having our wedding the week after theirs might be financially difficult for mutual friends to have two weddings in two weeks. Now…….. I really don’t think that is my problem?! These are not my close friends, nor is the girl my friend, and I know my fiance is okay with it. How can I plan my wedding around other people’s friends/plans/finances? Am I wrong in this? I had two weddings in two weeks this November and my fiance was out of a job and we were living on my salary alone. No it wasn’t easy, but if people are important to you, you attend the wedding. We also plan on sending save the dates so people are fully aware of the date with ample time to make arrangements if necessary. There will be about 16 people total (8 people with dates) invited to both our wedding and theirs.
I understand it might be difficult, but people with normal jobs can take off whenever they want, I can’t. AND it is our wedding and if we want to get married on that date then I don’t think it is someone else’s place to comment on how I should be concerned with other people’s finances (Besides the fact that the other couple hardly seems excited about their wedding… or their engagement for that matter).
What are your opinions on this, bees? We’re not sure about the wedding date, and if we decide we cannot do it that date it will NOT be because of friends that we see a few times a year.
Post # 3
I don’t think you need to worry too much – maybe the other woman doesn’t want her wedding overshadowed – I know a girl who refuses to get married in the same YEAR as her future-brother-in-law let alone the same week/month.
I think you should do what’s bet for you and the majority of the people attending (you can’t suit everyone all the time)
Post # 4
@Scottish_lassie:Sorry, that may have been confusing, I’m tired!! The girl who shared her opinion about finances wasn’t the bride… it was a mutual friend between us both. Thanks for your input 🙂
Post # 5
Also, my fiance feels bad because a good friend of his lives in Florida, and Fiance mentioned our possible wedding date to T (FL friend) and T said he wouldn’t go to the other wedding… and come to ours instead since my Fiance is closer with T than the other groom. My Fiance feels guilty easily when it comes to his friends… I try to tell him to cut it out because they aren’t like that when the tables are turned. It’s sweet of my Fiance but oh well..!! haha
Post # 6
@Fallicious1012: Oh I see! Sorry, my bad (I’m tired too lol). Well, it could still be just one opinion – like you said you managed it before with ony one income.Maybe you should put the feelers out and ask a few people you trust what they think and if it’d be an issue for them?
Personally, I’ve done it before too and it was really hard but it just seemed like that was what had to be done – I never thought of not attending either wedding (I just pined for some sleep lol)
Post # 7
Honestly, I wouldn’t worry or stress about it too much. If the weddings are both local (within an hour or so drive) for your mutual guests they should be able to attend both weddings without being financially burdened. Plus who doesn’t like to attend a wedding to celebrate their friends love and happiness. I actually attended a friends wedding last weekend in AZ and another friend’s today in Vegas. It involved a lot of travel seeing as how I live in OR and was just in AZ over Christmas, but with enough notice I was able to plan for both out of state weddings. Just remember that this is your wedding and plan it when you are able to have time off of work to celebrate, relax and enjoy your new hubby.
Congratulations on your engagement and happy planning
Post # 8
I don’t think that this should even be on your radar! There will be plenty of things for you to worry aboud down the track, I think if that date is the one that suits you and your fiance, then run with it
Post # 9
if people are important to you, you attend the wedding.
You hit the nail on the head. It’s not your job to worry about peoples schedules, they can do that themselves 🙂
Post # 10
OMG, just told my mom… she is PISSED!!! They are fortunately helping us and picking up the venue tab (Unless it goes over a certain price, then we are paying the difference) and between my family being annoying/rude lately, my fiance’s family not willing to chip in anything, and now his friends putting the idea out that maybe others won’t attend she is livid! She is considering going down in price and inviting many more people (family friends, etc) because she is saying she’s NOT paying to guarantee 125 people and then 16 don’t come because of these things… we still have to pay for them anyway!!
She kept saying how she feels so bad because everyone seems to be putting a damper on our big day, lol. My mom is the best, I love her! ANYWAY! I will keep you all posted on what happens!!! This Nov. might be a little tricky financially, so summer of 2013 might be better but I REFUSE to plan my wedding around other people! If it’s not my family or closest friends they can kiss my butt! This is the only time I’m ALLOWED to be selfish and I have not been at all, and not even discussed it much with others because I always hated when people talked constantly about their wedding bc really… no one else cares, lol!!