(Closed) Wedding Date – Rude/Inconsiderate ????

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I have my wedding the day after my mothers birthday
    No! You are so selfish! : (13 votes)
    6 %
    Yes! That shouldn't be a problem! : (211 votes)
    94 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2005 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    My honest opinion, is that it is not a good idea. Even if she was truly OK with it, every single year you will have your anniversary celebration the day after your mothers birthday. if it falls on a weekday, and you guys have normal 9-5 jobs, you might not be able to celebrate on the day of. I don’t know about you, but sometimes my family and I celebrate birthdays the weekend of- when everyone is free.

    Also, if you wanted to go away on a trip for your anniversary, there’s the chance that you would have to leave the week/day of your mom’s birthday for the same reasons as above. 

    Having 2 family member’s birthdays in November, seems like a lot of presents for you and FH. And it is so close to the holidays no less.

    There is also the chance that you might hurt your mom’s feelings, while I am sure that she will be happy you guys set a date and everything, it is so close to her day, and birthdays mean things to people. Especially when they get older, they want to feel loved and important and relevant. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    4111 posts
    Honey bee

    MrsMGE2017:  I voted that it’s NBD because, for me personally, the older I get, the less I care about birthdays to be honest. I wouldn’t care if a family got married on or near my birthday. But that’s just me. I would definitely run it by your mom first though. 

    ETA – lf she does say she’s ok with it, you can always ensure that you make her feel really special at the rehearsal dinner by celebrating her birthday then. Buy a cake, sing to her, get her a gift, etc. 

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  BMoreBecc.
    Post # 7
    Member
    9041 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    MrsMGE2017:  Is she a birthday person? I know my own mother wouldn’t care as she is not big on celebrating her birthday. The only exception she will make is if it is a big one like her 60th. So you answer really lies with your mother and her personality.

    Some people are birthday people and some just aren’t. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1323 posts
    Bumble bee

    MrsMGE2017:  Normally I would say don’t worry about it, but since the birthdays in question are your immediate family, I’d try to avoid it. 

    In the surrounding two weeks of my wedding, I have both of my grandmother’s birthdays and my BM’s birthday a few days before that. In my family though, I usually call my grandmothers to say happy birthday, we don’t get together very often because we all live so far away. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    2251 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Omg! I think your mom would be super excited!  There is nothing wrong in having your wedding close to someone’s birthday,   they have one day and you have one day.  My wedding was a day after my nieces wedding,  we simply had a cake and a couple gifts for her at our rehearsal dinner.  NBD.

    Post # 11
    Member
    320 posts
    Helper bee

    I accidentally hit no, thinking it said “no it shouldnt be a problem” instead. So ignore one of those votes! 

    I think it should be fine and isn’t selfish at all. My only concern is that your novembers sound like they will be very busy between all the birthdays, holidays, and anniversary. But that just comes down to personal preference. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2110 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Totally no big deal. We had our wedding on my dad’s birthday. He was so so excited!! He went around our entire engagement telling people – “they’re getting married on May 23rd, MY birthday!!” and talking about how he could never forget our anniversary now. He was so excited. We sang happy birthday to him at the wedding and now there is double reason to celebrate come May 23rd!

    Post # 13
    Member
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I’d go with the day after your mother’s birthday. If she’s anything like my mom she would be so excited for it. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    108 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2016 - Beach house

    I think it should be fine? My sister got married 2 days after my mom’s birthday, which happens to be on my twin cousins’ birthday, we sang happy birthday and had pre-wedding festivities on her birthday so she got to be with all her family for breakfast that day! 

    Unless you plan on completely ignoring her birthday from now on, which is obviously not your intention based on this post, I don’t see why it would be a big deal at all. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    7383 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I accidentally hit ‘No’ thinking it meant ‘no, you’re not selfish’ so delete one of those. 

    I don’t think either date would be a big deal (after your brother’s birthday or after your mom’s).

    The topic ‘Wedding Date – Rude/Inconsiderate ????’ is closed to new replies.

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