Post # 1
So, Fiance and I are trying to pick a date, and we’ve always wanted a november wedding. The only issue is that we want to have it on a saturday, which means having it either the day after my brothers bday, the day after my mothers bday, or thanksgiving weekend. We have officially ruled out thanksgiving weekend, and I would love to have it the day after my mothers birthday. But is that rude and/or selfish of me??? I haven’t ran this past her yet becuase I wanted to get an outside opinion first. I just want make sure Im not being completely rude and inconsiderate by even considering that date. Please leave your honest opinions!!!
Post # 2
My honest opinion, is that it is not a good idea. Even if she was truly OK with it, every single year you will have your anniversary celebration the day after your mothers birthday. if it falls on a weekday, and you guys have normal 9-5 jobs, you might not be able to celebrate on the day of. I don’t know about you, but sometimes my family and I celebrate birthdays the weekend of- when everyone is free.
Also, if you wanted to go away on a trip for your anniversary, there’s the chance that you would have to leave the week/day of your mom’s birthday for the same reasons as above.
Having 2 family member’s birthdays in November, seems like a lot of presents for you and FH. And it is so close to the holidays no less.
There is also the chance that you might hurt your mom’s feelings, while I am sure that she will be happy you guys set a date and everything, it is so close to her day, and birthdays mean things to people. Especially when they get older, they want to feel loved and important and relevant.
Post # 3
Thank you so much! Yeah, that was my concern as well! Its looking like we’ll probably have to do another month, which I am really sad about but I would rather do that than have my anniversary so close to her day becuase birthdays are important in our family, and she deserves to have her bday/bday weekend be all about her.
Post # 4
Slingshot: Sorry, what I posted above was supposed to be a reply to you! I am still figuring out this site!
Post # 5
MrsMGE2017: I voted that it’s NBD because, for me personally, the older I get, the less I care about birthdays to be honest. I wouldn’t care if a family got married on or near my birthday. But that’s just me. I would definitely run it by your mom first though.
ETA – lf she does say she’s ok with it, you can always ensure that you make her feel really special at the rehearsal dinner by celebrating her birthday then. Buy a cake, sing to her, get her a gift, etc.
Post # 6
BMoreBecc: Thank you!!! And I would definitely sit down and have a conversation with her about it before we even considered finalizing a date! Although, Im thinking I probably won’t end up choosing that date either way, just becuase I would still feel weird about it, like I was taking over her special day.
Post # 7
MrsMGE2017: Is she a birthday person? I know my own mother wouldn’t care as she is not big on celebrating her birthday. The only exception she will make is if it is a big one like her 60th. So you answer really lies with your mother and her personality.
Some people are birthday people and some just aren’t.
Post # 8
j_jaye: My mother isn’t really a birthday person. She just had her 50th and it was just brunch with my immediate family and my grandparents at my parents house.
Post # 9
MrsMGE2017: Normally I would say don’t worry about it, but since the birthdays in question are your immediate family, I’d try to avoid it.
In the surrounding two weeks of my wedding, I have both of my grandmother’s birthdays and my BM’s birthday a few days before that. In my family though, I usually call my grandmothers to say happy birthday, we don’t get together very often because we all live so far away.
Post # 10
Omg! I think your mom would be super excited! There is nothing wrong in having your wedding close to someone’s birthday, they have one day and you have one day. My wedding was a day after my nieces wedding, we simply had a cake and a couple gifts for her at our rehearsal dinner. NBD.
Post # 11
I accidentally hit no, thinking it said “no it shouldnt be a problem” instead. So ignore one of those votes!
I think it should be fine and isn’t selfish at all. My only concern is that your novembers sound like they will be very busy between all the birthdays, holidays, and anniversary. But that just comes down to personal preference.
Post # 12
Totally no big deal. We had our wedding on my dad’s birthday. He was so so excited!! He went around our entire engagement telling people – “they’re getting married on May 23rd, MY birthday!!” and talking about how he could never forget our anniversary now. He was so excited. We sang happy birthday to him at the wedding and now there is double reason to celebrate come May 23rd!
Post # 13
I’d go with the day after your mother’s birthday. If she’s anything like my mom she would be so excited for it.
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2016 - Beach house
I think it should be fine? My sister got married 2 days after my mom’s birthday, which happens to be on my twin cousins’ birthday, we sang happy birthday and had pre-wedding festivities on her birthday so she got to be with all her family for breakfast that day!
Unless you plan on completely ignoring her birthday from now on, which is obviously not your intention based on this post, I don’t see why it would be a big deal at all.
Post # 15
I accidentally hit ‘No’ thinking it meant ‘no, you’re not selfish’ so delete one of those.
I don’t think either date would be a big deal (after your brother’s birthday or after your mom’s).