(Closed) Wedding Date – Rude/Inconsiderate ????

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I have my wedding the day after my mothers birthday
    No! You are so selfish! : (13 votes)
    6 %
    Yes! That shouldn't be a problem! : (211 votes)
    94 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    378 posts
    Helper bee

    A birthday, like a wedding, is one day.  Even a child isn’t entitled to a birthday weekend, week, or month (like one of my coworkers—“it’s my birthday month!  Bring me candy every day!” —wish I was kidding ).  I don’t see a problem.

     

    Post # 32
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Our wedding date is the day before my mother’s birthday. I didn’t ask her before but, birthdays aren’t a huge deal to her. Her mother passed away when she was a child the day before her birthday. Fiance gmas birthday is also within the same weekend and he wanted to get married around that time as a way to remember her. We chose our date to create a new memory for my mother and that weekend has a lot of dates that mean something to our families.

    Post # 33
    Member
    4238 posts
    Honey bee

     

    You want to get married in November and three out of the four Saturdays are family birthdays or Thanksgiving. Pick the fourth Saturday to avoid all three or just pick whichever one works best for you and your groom. It’s NBD in my book for a birthday and an anniversary date to share. It would be a hassle to me to battle Thanksgiving plans for any anniversary plans. 

    Just my $0.02.

     

    Post # 34
    Member
    2427 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: NJ

    I just thought of something that made me start laughing.

    What if you were pregnant, due on your mother’s birthday? And someone said “Don’t deliver on your mother’s birthday, day before or day after”, then you went into labor?

    Post # 35
    Member
    5107 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2014

    WallNut:  LOL. I know a girl who forces her husband to get her something or write her a card every single day of the month of her birthday. This was not even remotely his idea…

    I don’t think it’s a problem at all unless the family member in question is a total baby about their birthday. Most people I know don’t care abour their birthday and don’t even celebrate beyond maybe going out to dinner.

    Post # 37
    Member
    1320 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    MrsMGE2017:  I definitely don’t think it’s a big deal for the wedding day (if she was ok with it of course), but what PPs mentioned about your anniversary every year would be a deal breaker for me….my mom usually likes to celebrate with us for her birthday, and I would hate for us to ever have to choose between family celebrations and alone time…I want both haha!!

    Post # 38
    Member
    378 posts
    Helper bee

    SithLady:  This particular woman is 58 years old, this month, in fact.  She’s been like this for at least as long as she’s worked here (20+ years now)!

    Post # 39
    Member
    2427 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: NJ

    WallNut:  November is my birthday month! You mean I could have been demanding gifts every day?

    It’s already the 22nd and I only have 8 days left to expect them!!

    Post # 40
    Member
    391 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2016

    My FI’s cousin’s 12th birthday is the day of our wedding.  I decided we’re going to do a cake for him and have everyone sing Happy Birthday to him at the reception.  (I checked with his mother first to make sure he’d be cool with that.)  However, I don’t know if we’d have kept that date if it was FI’s mother’s birthday, or the day after her birthday.  (It’s already the same week as an honorary mom and an honorary grandma…)

    Post # 41
    Member
    994 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    I think my mother would be over the moon if I had it after her birthday (Yes to mom, no to brother BTW)

    Hell, she’d probably be happy for me to have my wedding on her birthday. Mom’s can be like that.

    I’d have you baker make a secondary cake (maybe a cupcake) in your mom’s favourite flavour and have everyone sing happy birthday to her during dinner. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    2853 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I think its fine! I almost had mine the day before/after my sisters birthday but that date got booked. If you come from a big family, its always going ot be someones birthday. At every wedding I’ve been to that I can remember, they have always acknowledged someones bithday by having the MC announce it and giving them a little cake 🙂

    Post # 43
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee

    MrsMGE2017:  I had my heart set on June 11th. I always wanted a June wedding. My Future Mother-In-Law said no. She told Fiance and I we were being disrespectful because that’s the dance recitial weekend and how the girls work so hard to be in it all year long. I picked the date a year and a half out and didn’t realize it was something that weekend but I was shocked that something that was suppose to be a one time thing needs to be switched because of a dance recitial. So I said I would move it to a friday instead. I was told no again because it was someones birthday. I felt like I couldn’t win with picking a date. I didn’t get my June wedding.

    I don’t think you are being selfish at all. I think anyone who thinks you should move the date you want is selfish. You get 1 day.

    Post # 44
    Member
    4891 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Our wedding is the day after DH’s brother’s birthday. I’l be honest… we didn’t even think that would be an issue when we set the date. But, when I was looking at dates, and if we would have done an early summer one, there was some venue availability after DH’s SIL’s birthday. And THAT, we did not want. She’s a very “I need all the attention I can get” kind of person, and having this happen around “her” day would have made her mad (which, whatever).

    But, I think you’re on the right path of talking the date over and truly seeing if that’s OK. I know a friends wedding I was in, it was the same day as her husband’s moms birthday. Obviously, she didn’t care.

    Post # 45
    Member
    603 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My brother got married the day before my birthday. I really like the idea of having a birthday cupcake for your mom at the reception, I think that’d be a really nice way to include her 🙂

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