Post # 1
So I know many bees on here have waited a long time for their proposal, or are still waiting, but I feel like I have some added pressure now… We have been together for almost 8 years. We have talked about getting married forever, but life always manages to get in the way. But we are finally at a point in our lives where we can start planning a wedding and not have to worry about college, grad school, starting our careers, or moving to another state. We both know that we want to get married and basically have already decided to do so, so the worry of him not wanting to commit is not the issue.
Since I am originally from Europe, we decided to do two weddings, one here in the US and one in Europe, so both of our families could share in the special occasion with us. We decided to do the European wedding first and even chose a date for it next summer. When we picked the date, there was still over a year left until the planned wedding date. In fact, back in August he suggested that we go look at rings and I found one that I was completely in love with. I did not think he bought it, but his mom slipped up a bit and dropped a hint that he may have bought it the following weekend.
My SO has mentioned numerous times how worried he is that I will not be surprised/excited by the proposal after so many years or that I will be disappointed in it or the ring. I am not at all worried about the ring, because it will be something special from him (even if it’s not the one I was in love with), plus after so many years he knows my style very well and has good taste in jewelry himself. My concern is more towards the surprise/excitement of the proposal. I am so anxious about it not happening for so long, that now part of me just wants it to happen already no matter how it happens. Also, now I am a bit stressed out, because we’re not officially engaged (although we already booked the reception venue for the US wedding, which will be several months later than the European one), however, we have the wedding date picked out overseas and it is now ONLY 8 MONTHS AWAY!
I’m not sure what he’s waiting for… He keeps telling me he wants to make it perfect and I know that is putting a lot of pressure on him, but I just don’t know if he understands how much time is required in planning a wedding. Let alone TWO weddings with one being overseas! He just tells me to start doing the planning already and the proposal will come… But I just cannot get fully into the planning without the official proposal and being able to share it with family and friends.
Just wondering if there are any bees who have been in a similar situation. Was the proposal every bit as surprising/exciting/special as you hoped for, even after many years of being together and waiting? Did you have a date for the wedding, but no official proposal? Were you engaged a short time and still managed to plan a fabulous wedding? Should I just embrace the planning as much as I can without sitting around waiting for the official proposal?
Post # 3
I have a date set for my wedding next fall, but no ring!!! I know that venues book up pretty fast, and we both want to get married in Banff so we booked the venue! I still don’t have a ring, but I’m hoping for one before christmas. I have totally been planning my face off, even tho we’re not officially engaged. I’m working on my guest list and invites, we have the food,beverages and venue. I am doing alot DIY so i need all the time i can get, even if i’m not engaged I know I will be soon! I really hope he proposes soon, I have also been waiting 8yrs and yes, life has a tendancy to get in the way!!! I know how hard it is to wait, it is NOT fun.
Post # 4
I was that way too. Our wedding is 7 1/2 months away. But he never proposed. We got our marriage certificate (and license) yesterday so now we’re officially married (with no fanfare). Now we have only 7 1/2 months to plan it all and I’m a little worried, too.
But… it will all come together!
Good luck. 🙂
Post # 5
I am in the same place. The rings are purchased and he has designed the invitations. We still have some area to play around with the date but I am starting to panic with everything.
Post # 6
Ok here’s the thing… I know you want this big romantic engagement and all, but if you have chosen a date for the wedding together and picked and reserved a reception venue, then you are engaged. Rings and proposals are nice, but they don’t REALLY matter in the long run. The important thing is the commitment to each other and it sounds like that is very well in place.
But if you are adamant about getting that proposal before you begin planning, then just sit him down and tell him very frankly that he has until xyz day to propose or you flat out won’t have the time to plan a wedding for the date you have picked out. He’s a guy. He very likely has NO clue what goes into planning a wedding especially one that’s on the other side of the ocean!
Post # 7
We are going to book the reception and ceremony site soon. Already have date set, looking/meeting w/photographers and I’m STILL Waiting for the ring. Will be 2 months now at the end of this month. But I believe I’m getting mine next month ( I hope). He started to joke w/me about getting it in April. I said I’m NOT waiting until my b-day or a baseball game…he was like no april fools I said NO, by end of Jan.!!!
It will come!
Post # 8
Thank you ladies for all your input. It definitely made me feel better that I am not alone and that planning a wedding without what is considered a formal proposal is not that out of norm. I was so busy with Christmas shopping for all my family that I didn’t even have time to worry about the wedding stuff.
Then there came the most magical Christmas… HE PROPOSED!!! I had already told him that whenever he does propose I probably will not be surprised and will certainly not cry. Oh how wrong I was! I was completely surpised (because I never thought he would do it in a public place), excited, and cried like a little girl! 🙂 It was truly magical and special. Christmas will never be the same. I was so happy that he did it on Christmas, because we were able to share the excitement and joy with our families. On top of it all, we had a white Christmas!
Post # 9
Congratulations! Now you will have to post a picture of your ring.
Just wanted to share on the topic of guys not knowing how long it takes to plan a wedding: My bf informed me that he would probably propose this coming summer, and want to get married sometime around next Christmas. Oh really huh? Have fun with that!!
Post # 13
CONGRATULATIONS! I am glad everything turned out well for you. I have been with my fiance for about 9 years and finally said yes after the fourth proposal.
Wishing you the best of luck!
Lisa from Running Late With Plans.
Post # 14
Congrats! Glad you finally got the ring and can start planning both your weddings!!
I had been dating Fiance for 8 years. He just proposed 4 months ago. Because I had been waiting for it for sooooo long, it wasn’t all that I imagined it to be. It wasn’t the big romantic thing I had envisioned…..however it was him! The proposal was so him and if he had done it in the way I envisioned in my dreams, it wouldn’t have been so him.
He actually had planned a big to do the week before he proposed. He and my friend worked together to plan this surprise party where he was going to propose but i was onto him and told my friend I thought he was finally going to do it. She in turn told him, that I was on to him. So he didn’t do it then. He did it a week later in his kitchen….
So my thinking is — it may or may not be what you’ve imagined. However, it’ll be what it’s supposed to be. Be content in that! <
(directed at other girls waiting for their rings)
Post # 15
Here is a picture of the ring. If curious, more detailed story and a couple of additional ring photos here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/a-little-christmas-magic?replies=1#post-.