(Closed) Wedding date too close to Best Friend's?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

She is being totally unreasonable! I to engaged months before my bff and then she set her date two weeks before mine. I couldn’t care less because I get ONE DAY not a week, month and certainly not a year. your friend needs to grow up. 

Post # 48
Member
8066 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yep…your friend is nuts.  She doesn’t get an entire year…who the hell does she think she is exactly?  I could maybe understand a week or two before or after just because everyone would be so busy and it could be hectic but I see no problem with having it the next month.

If she is that selfish I would reconsider my friendship!

Post # 49
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I agree that its a little crazy of her. My Future Brother-In-Law got engaged to his girlfriend only a few weeks after my FH and I and are going to be married only a month before us. And there are not hard feelings on either side! Only excitment! 

Post # 50
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I had a very similar situation. We asked the groom who is our really good friend if we got married in the same season and he was so excited and said of course and gave us three dates not to choose. Great!  Little to our surprise he did not say a thing to his future wife until we picked our date 3 weeks before them.  They told us to reschedule our date 6 months before or 6 months after their date. There has been phone calls, ignoring, and friendships broken over this stupid situation.

It hurts greatly and is sad to have this happen, but honestly this is a celebration between you and the man you love, not them.  Do what makes you guys happy! That’s all that really matters.

Post # 51
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

@Laceymae:  Pretty sure that’s a little wacko. You’re not even having it in the same month as her! I thought maybe it was an issue of she wouldn’t be able to be in the bridal party because she’d be gone on honeymoon, but since that’s not the case then it’s definitely not too close. Have your wedding when you want to.

Post # 52
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Laceymae:  this is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. Why do you need to put your life on hold because “2013” is her year. It’s not like you’re going to be having a double wedding, or brial showers on the same day. You can each have your own showers, bachelorette parties, what have you…….I got married last may, 2 of my friends got married in July and another couple in August and my now sister in law just got married in October. It’s a lot harder when siblings get married close because you share the same family but you two don’t and she really needs a freakin reality check.

Post # 53
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Laceymae:  I think you should get married whenever you want.  Yes, it would be in poor taste to select the same day (or even the day before/day after), especially if there will be a few people attending both weddings.  (This is, of course, provided you knew her date in advance and chose the same date anyway.)  But, based on what you said, that’s not the case at all.

I was actually a little nervous about announcing my engagement and wedding date to my cousin, as she had recently announced her date and mine was only going to be about 2 months later (her’s is September 7th and mine is November 9th).  She has been engaged for almost a year now.  She didn’t say anything negative to me … In fact, she was really excited for me!  I’m traveling back to the East Coast to be a bridesmaid in her wedding and she’ll be traveling to the Midwest to be a bridesmaid in mine.  There was absolutely no drama.

Your friend can’t claim 2013 as “her” year.  I’m sorry, but that’s just ridiculous.  I can’t imagine one of my friends or family members fighting with me because I refused to push my wedding back a year or two.  Just … No.

Post # 54
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@dkacerek:  Ditto!

OP- this girl is not much of a friend. You may need to reevaluate whether this friendship is one worth keeping, with her attitude being what it is.

Post # 55
Member
1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

While I don’t think anyone can claim a whole year, I would never, ever, plan a wedding a month after my best girlfriend. My best girlfriend and I are both engaged and my Fiance & I picked our date first, and it’s in Sept of 2014. Her’s is in April of 2014 and honestly it’s already starting to make me nervous; our last huge deposits are all due the time of her wedding, and I’m in her bridal party so I will also be paying for the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, jewelry, hair, make-up, gifts for shower/Bach party/wedding…Plus, if many of the same people are going to both weddings, I’d be inclined to say they’d probably be less thrilled to go to another wedding so soon after your friends. I know I always try to be generous with gifts, but having 2 so close together would most likely cause me to have to reduce the gift I’d normally give. I genuinely love 2 of my best friends like sisters, but thinking if I had their weddings right after each other, I can’t say I’d be as excited about whoever was 2nd, because it’s like “oh, we just did this a few weeks ago.” I know it’s a huge decision and I hope I didn’t hurt any feelings, but I know I’d want someone to bring up these issues to me if I were you. 

Post # 56
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think that’s plenty! We set our wedding date very early. Practically the night of our engagement. My maid of honor set her date a couple weeks after me… and it’s 2 weeks before our wedding. I’m suprised i’m not angry or upset… but I’m not! We only have a few of the same friends that will attend both and our weddings are completely different.

Post # 57
Member
3518 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

She’s being a little insane and selfish. If you’ve only got 10 attendees in common and they all live in the same town, hooowww does it matter if your wedding is close? She can’t claim a month or a season or a year. She gets ONE day, a couple weeks if you want to be especially nice. 

I would be thrilled if a friend wanted to get married close to my date. FYI I haven’t experienced any “time in the spotlight” for getting engaged, so I really don’t know what that’s all about. I was duly congratulated but nobody fussed over me one bit. I don’t even like to bring it up because I feel like it’s annoying to others. (AKA why weddingbee is awesome.)

Does she really think anyone is going to still be thinking about her wedding a WEEK later, let alone a month? It isn’t that important to anyone but the couple. People will go and have fun but I’m sure it won’t be the social event of the century, and she shouldn’t be striving for that so much that she feels the need to compete for it. 

Post # 59
Member
1494 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

Yeah Im kind of understanding about there being a “problem” if the weddings are only 2-3 weeks apart and if people have to travel far for one or both… but if your 10 whole shared guests dont even need to travel for either, then yes, you can get married in September or October! There’s always a bit of a line and your friend sounds like she took the leap over it!!

Post # 60
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Laceymae:  I am going to be blunt: she is not a good friend.

Any true friend would be happy for you getting married. No good friend would claim 2013 as “her year” and expect you to put off starting married life by an entire year. Of course you can get married in September or October. I’ve known friends to marry a week apart and among true friends that is never a problem.

Plan your wedding when you want to. She says she won’t help you? Well GOOD! Because if someone is as self centred as that, it’d be good for you to see less of her.

Post # 61
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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