(Closed) Wedding date too close to Best Friend's?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 62
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

“”Psycho”” springs to mind. I got married in the same year as a friend. She has no idea what’s she’s talking about. As long as its not the same weekend, no problemo. She doesn’t have to come if she’s so concerned. Tell her to cool her vents, most of her guests won’t be attending yours anyway, unless you also share grandparents or something.

Post # 63
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Your friend is being ridiculous.  DH’s good friend got married two weeks after we did– we were not offended when we heard the wedding date.  A friend from work was originally planning on getting married two weeks after our date until they found out the venue was booked– again, I did not have a problem with it.

The summer I graduated from college there were sorority sisters’ weddings every 2-3 weeks.

Seriously, your friend needs to grow up.

ETA: Okay I just ready the ‘stealing thunder’ thread.  Seriously, your friend and the guys that were yelling at your fiance for stealing thunder are being ridiculous.  I have never heard of this before coming on WB.  My work friend got engaged the same day… we’re pretty sure it was within the same hour of the day.  Did we fight?  Did we yell?  No.  We were running back and forth between our apartments giggling like we were 16 year old girls.  It was fun.  Why is there this spotlight mentality that because someone else has plans that everyone else’s must be on hold?

Post # 65
Member
1223 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Your friend is being nuts! Get married when you want to get married.

Post # 66
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Laceymae:  At this point would you even want to continue being friends with her?  It sounds like a lot of energy over someone who constantly needs to be the center of attention.  As another PP alluded to, is she going to demand that when she wants to have children that you wait an extra year so no one takes the focus off of her?  This girl sounds incredibly immature.

Post # 67
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Laceymae:  “And she told me again today that she will not help me with anything”

Like I said before, that is actually a blessing. The thought that no one can even get engaged during her engagement time is pure insanity. You’ve got to stop pandering to such selfishness, and plan your wedding when you want.

Post # 69
Member
910 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Aw I am so sorry your friend is being like that. Its definitely not ok for her to claim an entire year. My Date was set for 10 months and my best friend recently got engaged and set her date for 6 weeks after ours so May 18 snd Im the Maid/Matron of Honor and our other 2 mutual friends are bridesmaids in both mine and hers. I couldnt be more thrilled to be planning WITH her! Were having so much fun tossing ideas around together. I am sorry you arent getting to share that experience;(

Post # 70
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site

Yea, she’s out of her mind if she thinks she has the whole year, give me a break.

My cousin (8 years younger) got engaged recently,(we’ve been engaged for 2 years now) and they finally set a date for a month or so BEFORE mine.   We have mutual guests from across the country, and I wrote a whole complicated post about it, but we’re totally working together on this.  She and I are close and we respect eachother enough to celebrate this together, not fight about it.   I personally feel that it is not my place to decide when they should or should not get married.   I mean, she’s not more important than I am, nor am I more than she, so where do I get off telling her what goes?   We are SUPER excited together, discuss dresses, plans, flowers, it’s so awesome to share ideas with someone who is going through the same thing and who actually gives a crap about all this wedding stuff, lol!  She’s one of my bridemaids.   I think that shows love and respect.    I’m sorry, but to me, your friend is being selfish and rude, and I’m sorry you’re going through this.  

I vote that you plan your wedding however and whenever you want, a 2 month gap is MORE than fair, and she’ll either get over it and realize what an obnoxious person she’s being, or you’ll realize that she’s not really much of a ‘friend’ at all.

Post # 71
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site

@paula1248:  

My FH and I have been together for nearly 8 years.  We were talking marriage after like, 3 years, but couldnt’ really afford a wedding yet so we didn’t make it official.  Then his older brother asked his girlfriend of like, 3 months to marry him, so my FH told me he didin’t want to steal their thunder by asking while they were engaged.  I thought it was total bullshit, but what can I do.   Thentheir one year engagement turned into a two year engagement, during which time another couple of friends also got engaged, I thought if this continued, we’d never freakin’ get married if we couln’t be engaged at the same time as like, anyone else we knew.   It was so stupid.   I mean, I wouldn’t want someone close to get married like, a week apart from me, or get engaged so close, but really, it’s not my call, and I’d be a super bitch to expect others to follow that.

Post # 72
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

You pick whatever date you want for your wedding, and even if that means the day before or after hers, then so be it.  She will just have to deal with it.

Post # 73
Hostess
4996 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

You’re being more than kind by putting 1.5 months between your two weddings. It sounds like she’s stressed and has bridal brain right now. Just try to be as nice as possible but don’t let her change your plans. 

Post # 74
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Laceymae: Since she has called you a “selfish b*tch”, I’d just like to make one more point. You are not being selfish. She is.  It is not selfish to get engaged and married at a time which suits you (so long as you don’t choose the same day as her, which you haven’t). It *is* selfish to expect other people to not get married or engaged during your engagement.

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