(Closed) Wedding Dates: Would someone please talk sense into me? (Rant!)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I can understand how frustrating being engaged without a date must feel.  I also think you should be the one picking the date, and not FI’s family.

I think you and Fi should come together and come up with some dates that both of you are comfortable with – and THEN see what works for your families.  

I’m with you in not wanting my anniversary and my b’day close to each other.  

However, I do think you may be placing a bit too much emphasis on the wedding falling after your birthday.  Think of it as another year to get to spend with Fiance vs. being another year older by the time you tie the knot.  Some people haven’t even met the person they want to spend the rest of their life with by your age… you are one of the lucky ones!

Post # 4
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Take a deep breath! Ok, a few things come to mind after reading this 1) This is your day. What is his family doing that is so important that they can not accomodate your wedding date of choice? 2) Stop being silly about being a year older. That is not what is important. What’s important is that you’re getting to marry the man of your dreams right?

Post # 5
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Miss Mochaccino: 

Well honestly I wouldn’t want to get married on my birthday. That’s really nice of both of you to work around everyone else’s schedules. Why are you two working around everyone else’s schedules? Honestly if someone super important like mom or dad can’t come then I would change it… Aunt Tilly you can watch the video…

I would pick and date between the two of you, or find a venue and see what dates they have available.

Don’t stress this early on, you will have plenty more time to when you actually pick a date. Smile

Post # 6
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with everything Oracle said.

Are his parents paying for the wedding? I think it’s a decision that you should make on your own. 

I can understand not wanting the wedding close to your birthday, but another year older isn’t a big deal! You’re just one year wiser.  Smile

Post # 7
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Of course you’re disappointed and I totally understand wanting to be married sooner rather than later.  Rant as much as you want to.

Take some time to be disappointed, but then pick your favorite date and go for it.  If it’s really far in the future, have you considered eloping and then having a wedding celebration later?  You can even do a vow renewal that is just like a ceremony and no one needs to know that you eloped.

It is so exciting that you’ve got a date now, and honestly being a little later doesn’t matter TOO too much practically, does it?  It gives you more time to find vendors, more time to find venues, more time to DIY things and figure out your bridal party, more time to plan things out exactly how you want them.  Protip (as my gamer friends say): Don’t talk to your Future In-Laws about your wedding plans if you suspect that they were purposely difficult about this, even if it’s just a glimmer of suspicion, because that’s more time for them to try and bring you down to get you to change your plans.

Post # 9
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@oracle:  <– What she said.

I don’t think they need to be picking your wedding date choices, that is ridiculous. You two are the adults getting married. Unless there is something I am missing completely, no. You guys pick your date and roll with it. They can suck it up.

And I agree with you and have some experience with your bday and anniversary dilemma. Our dating anniversary is FI’s birthday…Also, our birthdays are only 13 days apart. So we had 3 major things happening in less than 2 weeks. Not cool. Hence why we are not getting married on our dating anniversary.

Post # 10
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can understand the b-day/wedding date thing…I purposely chose a spring wedding because my b-day is in December and I always hated sharing my b-day with other holidays. Anyways…man what a demanding family and how accommodating you are, but maybe you should be a lil less accommodating. Really..what is more important than seeing their son/nephew/brother/grandson/ect getting maried. I can understand things like graduations/baby births/ and family b-days, but anything other than that they just need to get over it. I side with Oraclle- you 2 need to decide on what dates work for YOU and then let Fiance family pick the best from that. IMO if they have something better to do that day other than my wedding than F them and they can have fun doing whatever. My wedding is a day after my parents anni. falls right on the week my sis takes her annual family v-cay, and the weekend my Maid/Matron of Honor goes to the NASCAR races annually– at first they were like “what?” and I was like “Yeah”– so guess who changed plans—THEM lol !! If you let them dictate this- you will never hear the end to their opinions and will spend your entire wedding trying to appease a small group of people. Good Luck!

Post # 11
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with PPs wondering why FI’s family is having so much input on choosing the date. Having said that, I think you should let go the whole “year older” thing.  I also agree that in the “ideal” world, your anniversary and birthday would be more separated, but again I don’t think it’s a big deal.  (our birthdays are both the same month and I actually would’ve liked to get married that month to make one month-long celebration but it didn’t work for work schedules. shrug)

Some ideas: take back control and pick whatever date you and Fiance want; pick a date that works with FI’s family and be happy; have a secret city hall wedding any day you want and have the big wedding a different day? Could be fun….I’m watching SATC so maybe that’s inspiring me. (Carrie and Big’s wedding, round 2, LOL)

Post # 14
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Since its an international wedding, if his family is mostly average joes (or jills) or even white collared folks many may not be able to make it anyways… They may say they will but when push comes to shove they wont be able to make it due to finical reasons.

Good luck girlie! Smile

Post # 15
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Why are you guys bowing down to his family’s demands?  Fiance and I never consulted anyone when we chose our date.  We chose it and told everyone when and where.  If they can’t make it, oh well.  I feel like you guys are giving them too much power in this.  If you don’t nip in the bud now, things are just going to get much worse with their controlling ways.

The topic ‘Wedding Dates: Would someone please talk sense into me? (Rant!)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors