(Closed) Wedding Day Catering Horror Story I am so bummed out :(

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1296 posts
Bumble bee

Did you ever talk to him the night of the wedding to find out what was going on?

Post # 3
1532 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

That’s a crazy story. It’s a drawback of using a frendor because you try harder to accept these things. Did he give reasons for lateness? Have you paid yet?

Post # 4
6240 posts
Bee Keeper

Did you have some kind of contract? Have you spoken to him about the incident. 


A similar situation happened with my friends wedding. Another catering friend was doing the food and messed up for them. I don’t know what the agreement/payment situation was but it was friendship ending. 

On the plus side we all look back on it now years on with one of the best, most memorable weddings ever. I know the bride and groom still feel upset about it though as it’s a special day after all. 

My heart goes out to you. I do hope you get some compensation and can do something fun with the money – maybe a backyard BBQ for your friends? Lots of drinks and turn it into a fun thing to put a positive spin on it?

Post # 6
3882 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

What was his reason for being so unprofessional? 

Post # 9
3440 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

I don’t think you should pay him the rest to be honest. I understand things happen but food is such an important part of the day and as you pointed out this incident understandably threw your timeline way off. As far as how your guests feel…truthfully I would have had to leave. But I’m nondiabetic hypoglycemic so for me three hours without food can be the difference between having a nice time and passing out at your wedding. I keep snacks in my purse and the car but after a certain point snacks won’t cut it. However, I’m sure for the hefty majority of your guests most people weren’t at all bothered and had a lovely time so don’t worry about them speaking ill of your wedding. 😊 Congratulations

Post # 10
1467 posts
Bumble bee

Ok this is brutal. I’m so sorry! I don’t think your friend was very organized. What’s done is done. All you can do is express your dissapointment to your friend which you have done already. He made a huge mistake here, if you forgive him that’s totally up to you guys. 

Post # 11
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
coralmermaid :  I’m so sorry bee. He acted very unprofessionally and his excuses are unacceptable. 

Was there any written communication between him and the planner, so at least you could find out if he’s really telling lies or is just disorganised. I know it doesn’t help you feel better but may help you get the money back and you could then host something with the money like pp said. 

I wish I had more advice for you. 

Post # 12
1744 posts
Bumble bee

Sorry this happened.  You put so much effort in planning it’s upsetting when it doesn’t happen as you envisioned.

 Unfortunately, it sounds like it may have been a difficult catering situation (no running water) and he either hadn’t thought through the logistics or wasn’t experienced enough to overcome the venue challenges.  Perhaps a downside to using a frendor vs someone who had worked that location in the past.  

Not much to be done at this point except decide if you want to let this mar your friendship.  If continued friendship is important to you then you somehow have to let it go, and hope that in years to come you’ll have a fond(ish) memory of your first challenge you faced as newlyweds.   

Post # 13
7559 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Was there something unusual about the venue? If the cooking equipment kept shorting out and they (whoever “they” are) couldn’t bring him enough water to get the pasta cooked, I’d want to know why that was.

Post # 14
5013 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m sorry.  I actually went to wedding like this a couple of years ago and it was awful.  It was a very similar situation (friend who had been in the restaurant business doing it for cost only – elaborately planned stations).  I don’t know about him being late, but it was clearly a kitchen he wasn’t used to working in and he didn’t bring enough people to help him get the job done.  My guess is because he was doing it for the cost of the food, he knew he couldn’t ask/convince his staff to donate their time to help him do a favor for his friend.  So I’m not sure if the two people I saw by the time I showed up were planned from the beginning with him paying out of his own pocket since my friend was only paying for the cost of food or if he called in and convinced the two people to come in and help as a favor as the last minute once he realized for f’ed he was.  But he only had two people with him which is absolutely not enough. 

Food was over an hour late and when it did come out none of the stations had all the food items at the same time (so the carving station only had (very rare still cold) beef, but didn’t have the ham or turkey until much later.  The Asian station only had noodles about a half hour later and then an hour later had the dumplings.  The food truck could only get one of the five items out at a time.  Basically, you spent a half hour in line to get one food item periodically throughout the night.  It even took an hour and a half to get a full thing of coffee on the table.  They finally ordered in pizzas and most of us left to hit the drive-thru.  And because I’m part of that friend group most of us ended up trying to help out back there instead of enjoying anything else. 

So, you’re not the only one.  That sucks.

For lurkers, I hope they take both your story and the one from my friend as a cautionary tale against self-catering and/or hiring friendors.  Contracts are important and catering is f’ing hard.

Post # 15
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
coralmermaid :  I’m sorry. That really sucks, and would have totally ruined my wedding. at this point, there’s just not much you can do – he wasn’t a pro, you don’t have a contract, etc. Just have to accept the day for what it was. The best thing you can do now is to take it as a lesson learned that if it’s important to you, then hire a professional for the job. 

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