Post # 1
My wedding is in 2 months. My maid of honor is my sister in law, and my talented brother is providing the dj, and photo booth for the event. They are now having a falling out which I know they will be majorly uncomfortable in the same room together at the wedding let alone my brother having to do the announcements, saying her name etc etc. I’m trying to be very Sweden about the whole thing, and I feel horrible because he says he will be fine still doing it, but is it wrong of me to just say ok and let it be when he will be hurting inside?
It just seems mean of me to expect him to put on a “show” for a room of 200 people when he has to deal with a pending divorce and his ex wife is sitting at my side. I made it clear that they wouldn’t have guests.. because how uncomfortable would that be they bring someone new in their lives and they were both fine with that of course.. Her and I have gotten very close over the course of their relationship and I want her as my Maid/Matron of Honor but this is my brother so it puts me in a weird position. Has anyone found there selves in this position?
Post # 3
If your brother says he can do it, I’d let him.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Is there any way it could blow over in two months? I would remain Sweden and address it closer to the day. Maybe have someone else announce the bridal party so he doesn’t have to? Other than that I would assume they will act like adults and avoid any confrontations on the day. Stay Sweden and stay strong.
Post # 5
Ohhh, poor thing. What a crummy situation. But, I think it is very respectful for both your brother and sis-in-law to put aside their differences for one day, a very important day for you and Fiance. I would keep things as is unless they come forward that they can’t do it. But really, I think this is a selfless move on their part to ensure your day is how you want it and special. Kuddos to them.
Post # 6
If he still wants to do it let him. Boys can put on shows and tuck away emotions when necessary. Im sure the last thing he would want it to know his marriage is falling apart and then to have the burden of everyone whispering at the wedding that your Maid/Matron of Honor couldnt be there because of him blah blah. It will look a lot more classy on everyones end if she stays as Maid/Matron of Honor and things carry on as normal. Last thing you want at your wedding is everyone gossiping about the drama of her not being there…. and i hve to agree with PP its very great of them to be willing to put all aside for you on your big day!
Post # 7
I vote for addressing it closer to the day. He’s your brother and he knows how much this day means to you, if he’s man enough to say he’s willing to suck it up, I’d let him.
Post # 8
thanks you guys! It makes me feel so much better about it. I’m hoping that things work out with them but you never know. If things continue to be rough then i’ll talk to them a few weeks before just to make sure everything is still ok.
Post # 9
I think you need to take your brother at his word. Its going to be uncomfortable unless they manage to fix things. It’s so unfortunate that this happened at all, let alone so soon before your wedding.
Post # 10
yeah, i’m still crossing my fingers it will work out between them. ^_^
Post # 11
The way I see it your brother is doing the mature thing and putting aside his personal feelings for you SIL for the sake of you and your future hubby’s day! ….wish my Mother-In-Law did the same thing for our wedding towards her ex huband >.<
Post # 12
Honestly if they’re divorcing I would ask her to step down, family first! If they’re just in a rough patch I would make sure they don’t bring a date, you never know if a wedding could bring them together.
Post # 13
I think you seriously need to consider asking your Maid/Matron of Honor to step down and attend as a regular guest. (Allowing her to leave quietly if it gets too tense). Do you think Maid/Matron of Honor will stay your best friend in the future? If she’s no longer your SIL, do you want her in your wedding photos for the rest of your life? I guess it happens sometimes, but far more common in my experience is to lose contact with family’s exes.
If MOH is possibly dealing with divorce (or best case, rescuing her marriage), helping prepare for your wedding might be the last thing she wants to do. Also Maid/Matron of Honor needs to deal not only with your brother but your other family members. Talk to her. How does SHE feel about staying MOH? At the very least, let her step down if she wants to.