(Closed) Wedding day dilema

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

If your brother says he can do it, I’d let him. 

Post # 4
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Is there any way it could blow over in two months?  I would remain Sweden and address it closer to the day.  Maybe have someone else announce the bridal party so he doesn’t have to?  Other than that I would assume they will act like adults and avoid any confrontations on the day.  Stay Sweden and stay strong.

Post # 5
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ohhh, poor thing.  What a crummy situation.  But, I think it is very respectful for both your brother and sis-in-law to put aside their differences for one day, a very important day for you and Fiance.  I would keep things as is unless they come forward that they can’t do it.  But really, I think this is a selfless move on their part to ensure your day is how you want it and special.  Kuddos to them.

Post # 6
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

If he still wants to do it let him. Boys can put on shows and tuck away emotions when necessary. Im sure the last thing he would want it to know his marriage is falling apart and then to have the burden of everyone whispering at the wedding that your Maid/Matron of Honor couldnt be there because of him blah blah. It will look a lot more classy on everyones end if she stays as Maid/Matron of Honor and things carry on as normal. Last thing you want at your wedding is everyone gossiping about the drama of her not being there…. and i hve to agree with PP its very great of them to be willing to put all aside for you on your big day!

Post # 7
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I vote for addressing it closer to the day. He’s your brother and he knows how much this day means to you, if he’s man enough to say he’s willing to suck it up, I’d let him. 

Post # 9
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think you need to take your brother at his word. Its going to be uncomfortable unless they manage to fix things. It’s so unfortunate that this happened at all, let alone so soon before your wedding.

Post # 11
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

The way I see it your brother is doing the mature thing and putting aside his personal feelings for you SIL for the sake of you and your future hubby’s day! ….wish my Mother-In-Law did the same thing for our wedding towards her ex huband >.<

Post # 12
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Honestly if they’re divorcing I would ask her to step down, family first! If they’re just in a rough patch I would make sure they don’t bring a date, you never know if a wedding could bring them together.

Post # 13
7753 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you seriously need to consider asking your Maid/Matron of Honor to step down and attend as a regular guest. (Allowing her to leave quietly if it gets too tense). Do you think Maid/Matron of Honor will stay your best friend in the future? If she’s no longer your SIL, do you want her in your wedding photos for the rest of your life? I guess it happens sometimes, but far more common in my experience is to lose contact with family’s exes.

If MOH is possibly dealing with divorce (or best case, rescuing her marriage), helping prepare for your wedding might be the last thing she wants to do. Also Maid/Matron of Honor needs to deal not only with your brother but your other family members.  Talk to her. How does SHE feel about staying MOH? At the very least, let her step down if she wants to.

The topic ‘Wedding day dilema’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors