Post # 1
Hi all! Just curious if you are doing a gift exchange with your bride/groom to be on the wedding day? If so, what are you doing and how did you communicate it? We want to exchange gifts but my fiance is concerned that he won’t get the “right” thing. In addition to hearing about what you are doing, I would love some ideas for having the conversation without outright telling him he should get me a specific thing (which he seems to want me to do). I would rather not give gifts than have him worried about it or prescribing what he gives me, you know? He is generally very good with gifts and I trust his judgment (which I have told him) but he is a bit more panicky about this exchange than Christmas, birthdays, etc.
Post # 2
We didn’t, mostly because I was in so much shock and horror at the amount of money we were splashing out for the wedding that I didn’t want to spend another penny for that damn wedding. I’m exaggerating a bit but it felt to me like the wedding and our awesome honeymoon were our gifts to ourselves. We didn’t feel like we needed extra gifts on top of that. Sure, it’d be nice to look back at something he gave me on that day in a sentimental way, but that is a lot of pressure to get something that is the “right” gift and will endure. I don’t regret skipping that bit at all!
Post # 3
We did a gift exchange. His best man and a groomsmen came to where I was getting ready and droppped off his gift and picked up mine for him. I got him a watch because he had been saying for a while that he wanted a nice one. He put together a box full of surprises for me of things that I had been saying I wanted over the past 6 months or so. He put it in a wooden crate like box because I love rustic things. It was so creative, complete with a beautiful card.
Post # 4
I want to – but it will likey not be anything too $$, just something sweet.
Post # 5
We just did cards because it was one less thing to worry about buying for the wedding. We’ve been together so long and spent so much on the wedding that heart-felt words that I got to read before the ceremony truly meant more to me than anything materialistic could.
Post # 6
Posting to follow because my Fiance and I were just discussing this!
Post # 7
We exchanged gifts.
I got him Louboutin sneakers and Cartier cufflinks. He got me my wedding necklace. I had a hand in the design but I didn’t get to see it till the morning of…that way, there was still the element of surprise.
Post # 8
I’m leaning towards yes, but something small/heartfelt rather than expensive. He loves sea otters so I’m thinking of “adopting” an otter in his name through an animal nonprofit- looks like it’s roughly $50. We might end up not doing it though. My Fiance is like yours- he says I’m much better at giving gifts than he is so I don’t want him to feel nervous about yet another thing on the wedding day!
Post # 9
We decided to exchange gifts, but we did it the weekend before the wedding. We wanted to have a private moment before any out of town relatives arrived (we also didn’t really want an audience watching us as we opened them, and wanted to see each other’s reactions). I mentioned to him the types of gifts I had heard of people giving before (watches, jewelry, cards or letters, etc) and he went from there.
He knew I was having trouble finding earrings to wear for the wedding, so he got me a pair of diamond studs that wound up being perfect for the day, plus I can wear them in everyday life. I got him a new wallet and a commemorative silver dollar that had a bride and groom dancing etched into it and was minted with our wedding year. I found a shop on etsy that would engrave a special note from me inside the wallet in my own handwriting…which he loves to see every time he opens it.
It doesn’t have to break the bank, it just has to come from the heart…and it’s really nice to have that memento to look at and make you smile 🙂 I’m really glad we decided to do something.
Post # 10
We did but we didn’t know.
He had arranged for a close up magician to do tricks for our guests (I LOVE magic)
and when we got engaged I set up a secret email account and over the months I sent regular emails to it for him to read the night before the wedding (I gave him a card with the email address and password).
Post # 11
What an interesting range of answers and gifts. For those who did do gifts, it sounds like some of you were prescriptive and some of you just did things you knew the other would love. Did you discuss beforehand? How did you have the conversation? How did you deal with any insecurities that were voiced about gift choices?
Post # 12
We are doing gifts- I’m getting him a Cartier watch- I knew he wanted one, but asked him to tell me what color metal, leather etc– with something expensive it’s best to get it right I think. Likewise I am designing earrings as my wedding gift from him. Maybe it’s not typically romantic, but the romance, to me, is giving eachother pieces that we love and will last a lifetime only to be handed down to our children.
One of my Ladies of Honor is married to one of his Gentlemen of Honor (FI and I met as attendants in their wedding) so they are taking our gifts to each of us. I am also doing a couple surprises for him like a note and some special socks.
Post # 13
We exchanged gifts. Nothing expensive, I think we both only spent max $50, our gifts were sentimental.
Mine: We met because we lived on the same street in college. It became an extremely special place to us. I had a street sign made to match the ones on the street and wrote a note down the back of it. He cried.
His: He calls me Little Dove for a very sweet reason, so he had a crystal rocks glass engraved with a small dove and a short note to me. He also got me a bouquet of yellow flowers (my favorite color) that we preserved because the bouquet he had given me when we got engaged had accidentally gotten destroyed, so he wanted to replace it. Super sweet.
We exchanged them shortly before the ceremony. One of his groomsmen brought his gift to me and one of my bridesmaids brought mine to him. We got some REALLY sweet pictures from it and some things to cherish forever.
Post # 14
I’m not sure if we will do a gift exchange or not. We’ve talked about it a bit, but we’re also very aware of the crazy amount of money we’re already spending. If we do end up exchanging gifts I’ve expressed that I would love a new perfume. Scent is highly related to memory and I love the idea that every time I wear that perfume I would be reminded of our wedding day. I will probably get a new perfume for that reason even if we don’t do the exchange.
Post # 15
Throughout the wedding planning process I brought up a lot of traditions I had heard of (gifts being one), and we talked together and decided what was important to us. While we were talking the pros and cons of gifts, we realized that it would technically be the last gift we bought for each other with our own individual money (before our finances would be merged). At that point it’s really just semantics, but something about that felt a little extra sentimental, and that’s when we realized we definitely wanted to.