Wedding Day PTSD

posted 1 month ago in Wellness
  • poll:
  • Post # 31
    Member
    1688 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    mrsnyctola :  

    I think, as an expert, you can see how dangerous a self diagnosis can be. You can also tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms. You would want the sufferer to know that she is not coping well and is coping in an unhealthy way. By crying and being resentful. Ruining her present by focussing on her past.

    Basically what this thread is telling her.

    Post # 32
    Member
    2897 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    mrsnyctola :  you are ridiculous. Because if her husband triggers a memory so traumatic that she can’t have a healthy  relationship with him, he shouldn’t be her husband. Or she should seek help. Which is what everyone here has told her. So you can stop policing.

    Post # 33
    Member
    2897 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Sansa85 :  lol, GET OUT OF MY HEAD

    Post # 34
    Member
    801 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    Sansa85 :  Omg stop! Mrsnyctola is an expert, okay!?

    Post # 35
    Member
    5733 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park

    mrsnyctola :  You’re an expert? 

    Thats interesting. How are you an expert? What is your profession?

    Post # 36
    Member
    1688 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    slomotion :  

    Not going to lie, I skimmed some of her old threads and comments to see if she mentioned her profession before. I’m curious as well.

    Post # 37
    Member
    661 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

    Self diagnosing PTSD is a slap in the face to actual PTSD sufferers. Don’t do it. If after 9 years and three kids you can’t get over something, you need to speak to a professional. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    2897 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Sansa85 :  dunno, but she’s a selfless organ donor!

    Post # 39
    Member
    280 posts
    Helper bee

    Sansa85 :  it sad to say, many people if they tell their story and get ridicule or criticism for it, will use this as a barrier in their mind to talk to a professional. Think of it. You tell your story with anonimity on the internet, you are criticize, ridicule. Will you now tell your story face to face with a doctor? You will need to be brave. Often they tell a story to a friend, the friend critizise or dimiss. No treatment, years go on. Then the person tries again, tells story again, “tests” again, to see if is safe to tell. 

    Self-diagnosing is not the big problem. Self-diagnosing works for some psychiatiric patient even though they are wrong, because it is how they come to understand there is a problem. Self-diagnosing causes big problems when people use it as base to treat themself. 

    I am thinking more on it now. This woman, her husband curses her on their wedding night in the honeymoon sweet. She  “cries her heart out.” Even her sister in law forgets her complaint and comforts her. But her new husband though, can “careless.”   He is not sensible to say to sister, who has the nerve to go to a newlywed room on the wedding night,  “no more talk of this, this is our honeymoon good night for now.”  He curses his bride.  She cries her heart out on her wedding night. Her husband cares less.

    Yes, this would be a very big deal for me. I do not understand any bride that will consdier this petty and not have this be a big deal.  Now even 9 years later it comes to mind when her husband raises his voice. This is clearly traumatic. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    440 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    mrsnyctola :  So how are you an expert?

    Post # 41
    Member
    1688 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    mrsnyctola :  

    As an expert, can you tell us exactly what we should have said? I’m so sorry, your flashbacks to to your wedding day certainly sound like ptsd and it’s totally common to be crying about it nine years later? That it’s a completely healthy thing?

    Why would she seek help if we tell her everything is fine?

    Post # 42
    Member
    1703 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    This is just offensive. Equating your experience with a serious and often debilitating psychological condition following real trauma is total hyperbole. See a therapist but please stop describing your marriage issues as post traumatic stress disorder. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    280 posts
    Helper bee

    saratiara2 :  in this instance, you are a mean girl.  I am never ashamed of wishing this. Why would you wish to mock someone for having this desire, I do not know.  So you will know, let me tell you. I can not give my organ to any one now, because of sickness when I was younger. So I lost a thing I wished all my life to do, I will never have it, never. Are you happy now to mock me?

    slomotion :  I will tell you, then you can leave me alone. I train for psychiatry. My training is not the same, it is not accepted so I do not practice now, I consult for on human rights. There are many groups in the city and I give advices for them, even to the UN, some time I give advice for lawyers.  Now I leave I will give advices to organisation that helps immigrants, and may be teach. So I have no profession, and I am sure all will say I have no expert opinion on mental things, since it is not American education. I am sure all think I am stupid since I do not write the perfect word. I do not care. There is plenty of people that take my advices even so I am not a “doctor” for you. 

    Because of what goes on like this, this is why a normal member of this place makes themself anonymous to discuss a serious problem. They are to afraid to be judged by the people that post here. Does it not make a blush go on the face? The people that know you best know better then to be weak before you, for fear you will judge, criticize, blast them. It is the most sad thing. I myself have a worry now, since the attention is on me now. What will be found of me. May be a girl will find where I work, or where I will live with my husband. 
     

    Post # 44
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee

    I actually understand what you’re feeling. Your wedding day is a day of memories, and something happened on your wedding day that was shocking to you. Granted things happen on your wedding day that you would expect, but for your husband to verbally attack you on your wedding night is not something that I would be prepared for.

    I know that many just take the side that if you don’t just ‘let it go’ after a period of time that there is something wrong with you. I don’t agree. I don’t think everyone has let go of the hurt of every bad memory they had even if it’s been 50 years in some cases. This hurt you, and it stuck with you, it happens. I don’t think you need to just let it go, but that you do need to find a way to deal with the hurt that happened before you can move on. No matter how long it’s been, your husband betrayed you that day and a betrayal by your husband is not easy to get over let alone on your wedding day.

    Post # 45
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    mrsnyctola :  I myself have a worry now, since the attention is on me now. What will be found of me. May be a girl will find where I work, or where I will live with my husband. 

    Well that escalated. 

     

    Leave a comment


    Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
    I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

    Find Amazing Vendors