Wedding Day – Robe DRAMA

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 16
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Slomotion, elderbee and annabanabee have it right.  If it means that much to your mum, it wont hurt you to wear it and respecting her is more important in my eyes.  When the fever of the perfect wedding is over and you look back at the pictures, seeing a personalised meaningful gift from your mum will be more important that your pinterest pics…and ultimately, only you care about pictures with your bridesmaids in robes, literally no-one else does. 

Post # 17
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Tell her you love it and can’t wait to wear it after the wedding when you’re officially Mrs. Surname! Until then you should wear your white bridal robe laughing

Post # 18
Member
13646 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Oh come on. You can’t see yourself in anything that’s not white on your wedding day? It’s a robe. You’ll clash for the photos? Try to regain a bit of perspective and keep your eye on what is most important. 

Post # 19
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

I would start by wearing the special robe from my mom. Then once I was fully ready, I would take a few group pictures with my mom, bridesmaids, etc. Then I’d switch into the white robe and take the rest of the photos in that robe. I would tell my mom I already bought the white robe and wanted to take a few pictures in it, too because…why not?! I would just stress how much I loved the blue robe and how much it meant to me. This really doesn’t need to be a big deal. Don’t stress. 😊

Post # 20
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee

I wouldn’t care about the colour but wearing “Mrs X” apparel before the wedding feels a bit weird. Better to put on for a celebratory drink with your new spouse when you’re winding down after the big day, or on the honeymoon.

Post # 21
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA

I agree with the Bees saying this isn’t as big of a deal as you’re making it.

It’s a ROBE. For you to get ready in.

It was a super sweet gesture by your mom, and the idea of not wearing it because the color doesn’t suit your taste or go with the robes your bridal party is wearing is just weird to me (and tbh, it still does, kind of, because you’ll stand out still).

If it were me, I’d wear the robe, because I would care more about my mom’s feelings than some pics of me getting ready that I’ll likely look at a few times and then forget about in some photo album somewhere. And even then, I’d much rather look back on those photos later and think “aw, that’s the robe my mom got me!” rather than “look at that typical white robe I got ready in!”

Heartfelt memories are more important than some “perfect” photo op, IMO.

Post # 22
Member
3722 posts
Sugar bee

So you love your mother but you DESPISE the colour of the robe she gave you.  Which of the two carries more weight with you?

Post # 23
Member
822 posts
Busy bee

Don’t be a brat. Tell her you love it and wear it for some of the pictures. You can always get other pictures in the white. It really doesn’t matter if they match, it’s just a getting ready robe! 

Post # 24
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

View original reply
justsomebee :  As its said Mrs i didnt want it to get make up and hair spray on it, i think that would ruin the fabric, so its packed in my suit case for the honey moon! ” 

Post # 25
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

Sorry, but I think you should wear it. I’m probably biased because I don’t personally get the idea of matching outfits to get ready in, even for photos. I want my getting ready photos to look natural and authentic and like me and my friends hanging out and getting ready together. What we wear doesn’t have a bearing on that.

Surely the colour of the robe is less important than your mum’s feelings? Yes, there are ways to navigate around this, but if it is so important to her, can’t you just go with it? It’s so unimportant in the grander scheme of things. 

I would actually find it quite funny to look back at the photos and to think “God I hated that robe”.

Post # 26
Member
4932 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

 

View original reply
justsomebee :  I’d wear the robe your mum got you.

Honestly a good photographer will be able to make the picture and colors look right anyway with your different toned robes. I think it was the bee @desertgypsy who posted her getting ready photos on here. I remember all her ladies were wearing very different colored and patterned onesies. The photos looked great and cohesive even though everyone looked so different in it. I think your over thinking it and you’ll get great photos irrespective of what colour your robe is! You’ll probably create an even better juxtaposition and point of interest for your photos in a non white robe. 

Post # 27
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee

In my view, if you surprise an adult with a piece of clothing, you run the risk that they won’t wear it – they might hate the color, the style, it might be the wrong size, or if might look awful on them. 

I’ve never cared for the staged getting ready photos in the Pinterest robes, so wearing aqua vs. white wouldn’t be a factor to me.  

 

Post # 28
Member
6299 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
misslucy :  This!!! So much this!!! I just don’t understand why any adult would surprise another adult with an artical of clothing – especially for an occasion as specific as a wedding day. 

OP, I get it’s your mom and you don’t want to hurt her feelings. As a wedding photographer I encounter these kinds of situations ALL the time. I would just tell mom you love it, and explain that while you already bought an entire set of matching robes for you and your girls you’ll make sure that you wear it for a few photos. 

My suggestion would be to wear your white robe the majority of the time. Are you gifting your mom anything special the day of? If so, gift it to her during the getting ready process (which is usually whem my clients present their parent gifts anyway) and just switch into the robe she got you for those photos of you + mom as she opens her gift. 

Post # 29
Member
9919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
sharpshooter :  Do you really think “accidentally” forgetting it or purposely spilling on it/making it dirty is the way to not hurt her mother’s feelings?

OP, I actually think the aqua color with your mauve Bridesmaid or Best Man robes would pop and look fun, and agree with the other opinions that suggest you wear it for some of the photos, and then use your white robe for some others.  Tell your mother you already had the white one but want to use both while getting ready.   Or do as 

View original reply
FutureMrsMcGinnis :  suggested, and be honest and upfront with her. Just don’t lie or try to make it seem like you “forgot” it if you have no intention of wearing it. 

Post # 30
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
JiminyCricket :  I was being TIC and I also posted after saying to just wear it in a few photos with her.  

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