(Closed) Wedding Day Timeline – Vent

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

unfortunately with most weddings there must be some compromise… there are other options though and you do have the right to choose what is best for you.

 

I tend to agree with your Mother-In-Law after driving 4 hours to a wedding I would be very disappointed to not even be served a meal. I can’t imagine driving all that way (and maybe back) and not even having a proper lunch.

perhaps you might want to consider eloping or just a very small family only wedding if you don’t want to have to worry about where guests are traveling from and serving expensive meals?

Post # 4
Member
30400 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
alynn91:  What time are you planing your ceremony? Perhaps it’s just your use of terms, but luncheon after the wedding usually implies a morning ceremony.

 

Post # 6
Member
30400 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
alynn91:  In this case your Future Mother-In-Law is correct. If your reception spans the time when people would normally eat a meal, you need to serve them a meal.

Heavy apps can make a meal, but you need to have enough of them so that people are satisfied. Appetizers also often turn out to be more expensive than a regular meal because they are so labor intensive.

Post # 7
Member
925 posts
Busy bee

I agree with your Future Mother-In-Law. 

Post # 9
Member
30400 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
alynn91:  If a ceremony was held at 6:30, your guests (the ones driving 4 hrs) would be arriving between 6:00 and 6:15. If you back up from there they would have to leave home by 1 pm to allow for any delays. If they wanted to eat before the wedding as you said you have done, that means leaving home by 11:30 or noon, when they would probably normally be eating lunch.

We all like to save money, but that should not be at the expense of your guests.

Post # 10
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee

Yeah I also don’t see the problem. Your Future Mother-In-Law gave you more money so you can properly host guests. Apps aren’t enough at dinner time. Your wedding isn’t for 6 months, I could see getting in a tizzy if your timeline changes the week of and causes additional stress, however, a change 6 months ahead of time seems perfectly reasonable. I don’t see a reason for preferring apps over dinner if they are giving you more money so you can have the dinner. 

Sorry you are stressed by it though ๐Ÿ™ hopefully you can go on and see it as a positive from this point forward. The undertones of your post (mentioning that it’s a LDS thing) almost makes it sound like you are more upset that the wedding is changing into what they want versus what you want and it might not be about dinner, even though I happen to think this change might make your reception better ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Hostess
4615 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

At 6:30 I would definitely still expect a meal. You said most guests would be traveling 4 hours away, so they likely have not eaten since lunch. I think light apps only work if you’re having an early afternoon (but not brunch/lunch) wedding or something much later (8pm ceremony if that’s done). I know it’s stressful to have your timeline changed, but you’re being a much better host by doing it the way your Future Mother-In-Law suggested.

ETA: Is it possible to change your reception to a dinner in place of the apps and skip the luncheon?  I’ve never heard of going to a late afternoon/early evening ceremony, than a meal, and then the reception, that seems odd to me.  If you have the meal your Future Mother-In-Law wants at the reception, it would shorten the wedding like you want.

 

Post # 13
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so confused by your timeline. Are all of your guests invited to dinner? Because if not, they need to be, especially if it’s in the same venue. Otherwise, you are going to basically have a tiered reception where some people are given one thing (dinner) and others are offered another (sandwiches). Unless you are leaving the reception entirely and having a separate, family-only dinner, I guess. Still kind of weird. And yes, 4pm (or 6:30) means a meal. The only way you could get away with having light foods would be like 2pm, or I guess 9am.

Why wouldn’t you want the dinner during the reception? That’s pretty normal. Why would you think you can keep guests there for five hours without offering them a meal? 

Post # 15
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

To be honest… if my son was getting married and our family was flying in for it, I would be a little emabarassed to have them come all that way to be served just finger food. I’d probably offer to help pay to turn it into a luncheon or dinner as well.

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