Post # 1
My fiancé and I got engaged quick and came up with the perfect date to get away and get married.. July 13. Well, that day is right around the corner and although still happily together, we will not be getting married then. We may not get married for a few years. The more I started thinking about it all the more I understood it was not the best financial choice for our unit. Seems as if getting married will bring lots of extra monthly bills that we simply cannot afford and I don’t want to put myself or my children in that spot.
Problem is, everyone is always asking when Is the wedding and at this point we don’t know! I feel embarrassed to tell people that. I hate for them to think we aren’t in a good place or he doesn’t want to marry me or what not. It’s me who made the decision actually that I thought was best for me and my children.. I’d love to be married. I just think financially we need to be in a better spot first.
Post # 2
What kind of monthly bills do you aquire once you’re married? Were you planning on financing the wedding or something?
Our bills did not change once we got married…
Post # 3
First of all, what kind of extra bills are you talking about? That seems odd.
Second of all, don’t worry about people asking. Fiance and I have been engaged for almost a year now and we still don’t have a date. It’s not a reflection on our relationship, it’s just that we aren’t in any kind of huge hurry and this year got too busy for us. People love to ask about it….it’s not that they are pressing or judging, they just tend to ask.
Post # 4
I have to ask the same things as PPs did: do you talk about the money you need for your wedding or for something in the future?
Post # 5
I don’t want to be bashed.. but there are a few things that I’ll have to pay for that we just can’t afford if I go from being me to being we..
those would be the top 3 I am worried about.
Post # 6
So you’re on public assistance? Thus if you have an actual husband rather than just a (live in) “friend” you lose financial benefits because his income will now be counted. Is that what you mean?
Post # 7
So, as a single woman you qualify for subsidies that would end once your income increases?
Post # 8
So, the two of you combined cannot afford those things or is your fiance unwilling to help with “your” bills?
Post # 9
I mean… maybe regarding daycare if you get government assistance but wouldn’t qualify with both your incomes. But student loans you have to pay regardless.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
When you get married you become a team….seems like that would actually HELP with paying the bills not make it harder….
Post # 11
You have to watch out for your children first. Always.
I don’t know what your day care or insurance situations are, but if you are on income-based student loan repayment and worry that it could change after getting married just file your taxes separately.
Don’t be embarrassed to tell people that you are still working through all the fun details of wedding planning and you’re looking forward to celebrating with the man you love.
Post # 12
Some of the income-based/income-driven plans now count the spouse’s income even if you file separately. I was surprised by this when I researched it last year, so just wanted to give that caveat for anyone reading who may be in the same situation.
Post # 13
Thanks for that info. The thought of paying $300+ a month for student loans scares me. Everything WE make now goes to the family and bills. We don’t have extra. Also, my children are on state insurance. I qualify because my fiancé is not my husband nor is he the kids father. If he becomes my husband though his income will be counted and my children will likely be left without insurance as there’s no way we can afford that. It’s all really scary. A co worker is going through it now and just hearing her stories about insurance is a lot.
Post # 14
I am appalled at some of the judgy comments on here! It’s like people don’t think weddings are expensive… I personally think well done for putting your family first and not ruining yourself financially. If you currently already have a lot of things to pay for you don’t want to add to the stress of that and you won’t enjoy planning the wedding because you will just be thinking about the cost of it.
I think that it’s no ones business but yours! But people are nosey so maybe just come up with a standard line like PP suggested along the lines if you’re still deciding on a suitable date 🙂