Post # 1
My fiance and I had planned to have him at the bridal shower for months now and I just found out that the best man didn’t know Paul was coming to the bridal shower and booked the bachelor party during the bridal shower.
I loved how my brother was at his bridal brunch and my cousin had her fiance there as well and it made things so much fun. I am severely disappointed that the guys didn’t get this right and now my fiance will not be coming after all–and the bridal shower invites are already delivered.
My fiance is upset and I’ve heard the best man feels bad, but they’d have to pay extra in order to change the time of the bachelor party due to activities taking place.
My question for all of you is–how do I get over it? Right now it seems like such a disaster and I am anticipating this being only one more item to add to a list of disappointments. My wedding isn’t anything super gorgeous (we’re being budget savvy) and we had a large amount of guests so we had to nix the favorite venues. Now this, and who knows what else–and I hate opening gifts in front of people staring at me.
What were your disasters and how did you deal with them? Advice on my problem??
Post # 3
First of all, I think you need to put things into perspective. While it may upset you that plans have changed, this is in no way a disaster.
Suggestions for making the change work: Have your friends record your Fiance asking him a series of questions and use that video to play the “newlywed game”. You sit and get asked the question, answer it, and see if your answer matches FI’s. That way he is “there” wihtout actually being there.
Post # 4
Just focus on what’s really important, you’re marrying your best friend. The fact that my family and friends will be there is an added bonus, and our wedding is just going to be a big party celebrating all of this. I’m on a budget too, my ceremony is in my parents backyard, I’m not a huge fan of the venue and am having to buy my own chair sashes and make my own centerpieces, I don’t have a very large flower budget, the color of hydrangeas that I want are apparently not in season and none of it matters. My dad can’t walk me down the aisle because he passed away, FI’s grandfather has cancer and is probably going to pass away just before the wedding because he’s in such bad shape, I didn’t get the dress of my dreams, or the venue of my dreams or anything like that. My Fiance was going to make an appearance at the end of my shower but it’s just too expensive for us to both fly up there, he’s not going to be able to meet with the Pastor before the rehearsal dinner, or the dj or the photographer and he probably won’t even see the reception venue until our reception but our friends and family are going to be there and it’s going to be a kick a$$ party, we’re going to dance our hearts out and just shine in all of the love. Seriously, our whole wedding with 80 guests is going to be under $6,000 so I understand budget.
Post # 5
@wisconsinbride: Would it be possible to have your Fiance there before he leaves for his Bach party? I am sure the party won’t start until late and assuming your bridal shower will be a daytime event.
Post # 6
Can he go for part of it and at least make an appearance? If I’m being totally honest, I’ve heard people mention that as guests they don’t really like grooms being at the whole thing anyways since its a ladies day, if that makes you feel any better?
Post # 7
@kingytobe: I agree – maybe it’s just a regional thing, but I always find it awkward when the groom shows up and hangs out at the shower with all of the women.
I don’t think this is a total disaster. Is it a disappointment to you, yes…but to go as far as calling it a disaster is a bit much. Try to focus on the positive. There are a group of people who are coming together to shower you with lots of gifts. And you’ll be distracted while your Fiance is off at his bachelor party the same day. It sounds to me as if you’re going to be surrounded by a lot of people who care a lot about you enough to throw you a wonderful shower…I don’t see much negativity in that.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t be too upset. Let him do his thing with the guys, and you enjoy your fun girls day!!! It IS called a “bridal” shower anyways! It’s a special time for you to get a break from all of the wedding planning, destress, and get showered with love! It can’t be THAT bad can it!?
And since you don’t like opening gifts in front of others, I receommend what we just did for my friend’s shower. She started opening gifts while people were eating. That way people could kind of watch as she opened gifts, but they were also eating and socializing at the same time so not ALL of the attention was focused on her. We also broke up the gift opening with games so it wasn’t one long stream of everyone sitting there watching her open presents forever. There were a ton of side conversations as she was opening gifts, and while some may think that’s rude, she was perfectly fine with because she doesn’t like to be center of attention either. Plus, this made the shower about 1.5-2 hours total. If you eat, then do games, and then open presents all separately showers can drag on and on!!!
Remember, it’s not the end of the world and it will only be a disappointment if you let it ruin your day. Put it past you and have some fun with the girls!
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars
Why can’t you change the bridal shower time? Did I miss this?
Post # 10
Thank you all! It makes me feel a little better to hear all of what you had to say. I’ve had some time to sink it in a bit and also, hearing your suggestions helps too. I also never heard of guests thinking of it awkward to have the groom there- so that’s good to know too.
I think that is how we’ll still be able to do the newly wed game (via video). I also got thinking I could have my little flower girl (4 years old) help me unwrap gifts so I don’t have all the attention on me. Thanks for the tip on getting them to eat and talk amongst themselves. That makes me feel very relieved!
Also, “Sit1010” – You really got me to see things differently. I appreciate it and I needed that. We are blessed to have so many relatives and friends throwing us parties and joining us for the wedding. I don’t know what I was thinking. I wish you a very wonderful big day!
And for clarification – the bachelor party (paintballing) was set at exactly the same time as the bridal shower (noon) and the bridal shower invites have been printed, mailed, and rsvp’d for already.
I’ve got a themed bachelorette party/bridal shower and am going as Rita Hayworth, so that will cheer me up along with all of your thoughts and ideas.
SO glad I posted here. THANK YOU!!!!!!