Post # 1
I need some advice. My FI’s cousin has been in an on again off again relationship for the past few years and not a month AFTER our engagement, randomly pops the question for his girlfriend.
Now, although he didn’t tell anyone and everyone had to find out on facebook about the engagement, I wouldn’t have cared. BUT…they planned their DESTINATION wedding for 2 weeks before mine and made it an entire weekend thing. I tried to talk to her and ask her if there was any way that we could work something out for our guests sake…nothing.
She sent out a facebook invitation thing before I could get my save the dates out. Now, I am afraid all my out of town guests are going to come to their wedding and not ours.
Am I wrong for feeling like my wedding is going to be forgotten about in the drama of theirs and fearing that none of my FI’s family will be able to make it because of how they are handling this. I am so upset and stressed out over all of this.
Post # 3
Does your family not know your wedding date? We knew ours and gave everyone a heads up two years before. It is unfortunate that they chose two weeks before your wedding, but you can not control what others do and you can not ask them to change their plans just for you. Did they even know when your date was?
Post # 5
I would be so mad!!! The thing is I have told my guests the date before I sent my save the dates and some of them asked me like 3 times what the date was!!!
I would get those save the dates out ASAP. There is nothing else u can do. U cant have her change her mind or his. But either way, u worry about your wedding and wedding plans. And dont worry about theirs.
Besides I have never got a facebook save the date before. I think yours will be so much more better because people can hold it and touch it. But yeah, get yours out now.
Either way, your wedding will be fun! Concentrate on that. Good luck!
Post # 6
Well, this happened to me but with MY own cousin who I grew up with. So I’m not going to tell you what to do but I’ll tell you how I felt and now feel about it. So, he proposed to her and then a week later they went to his mom’s house and told her (she doesn’t like her at all, long story but has every right not to) He tells his mom it’s July 28th. The same day we orginally told our family, luckly our venue was booked so we moved ours to July 21st. STD were sent so his mom says that’s rude your cousin is getting amrried the week before and all the family is going. They are live in PA and we live and wedding is in CO. He told his mom he doesn’t care that’s the day they want family can come or not.
So I cried, yelled, screamed and cried some more that family would just stay home to go to his since mine required travel. Well….. suprise the whole family thinks he is being to disrespectful about the date because they knew when we were getting married when they set their date and aren’t going to his because of it. His own mom (my aunt) is coming to mine and flying home the day of his wedding to walk in for an appereance then leaving! Funny!!!
So, hopefully in your case people will get word and see how rude it is and come to yours. Plus theirs might be travel spendy for desination. So sorry this is happening to you!
Post # 7
Don’t worry! I bet most guests will choose to attend your local wedding instead of her destination one if they had to choose.
Post # 8
Everyone is not likely to attend a destination wedding. More family/friends are likely to attend yours because it’s more convenient and probably more affordable to get to.
Also, your FI’s cousin popping the question may have been random to you but is probably (hopefully) something he put a lot of thought in to. It may be bad timing for you, but does not mean that he and his should not be able to plan the wedding that they want and have it when they want. I say that not knowing how close the cousins are. If they are very close, I would say it is just wrong.
Maybe take into consideration how close your Fiance is to his cousin. If they are really close, I think you have every right to be upset, but there is still nothing you can do about it since they aren’t going to budge on the date. If they aren’t close, it’s still okay to be upset but maybe just take into consideration that you probably wouldn’t plan your wedding around them, and that there is probably a reason why they chose the date that they did. It may not be something that you know about, but is probably not just a random date.
Oh, and who sends out wedding invites on Facebook?! Seriously??
Post # 9
I do not understand why people do this! Did they all know your date ahead of time? If they did, your FI’s cousin will just look bad. I thought about an 11-11-11 wedding, but since FI’s cousin was getting married 11-12-11, we decided not to do that to our family.
FB save the dates? Really? Sounds like they’re really being catty about this and tried to “beat” you to get the word out.
Post # 10
@PinkMagnolia: Agreed. If people find the money too tight they’ll opt to send the desti wedding couple a nice gift and attend yours instead.