Post # 32
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
@octoberbride102013: Glad you found a man with a sweet family. Sounds like your bro and SIL are not very supportive or grateful, and I’m sorry your dad reacted the way he did. I can’t believe for the children’s sake, they can’t get over themselves for 5 mintues so your niece and nephew can walk down the aisle. As if your brother is coming without his wife and family. I’m sure your day will be just magical though!
Post # 33
Member
22 posts
Newbee
@candydots: Thanks for the response…at this point it turned into a big fight and my sister in law said the kids are not allowed in the wedding and she is not coming…my brother said he is coming but he is the type of person that two days before any event he cancels so I dont expect this time to be any different…It’s just hard because I asked my mom to walk me down the aisle instead of my father since my mom raised me and is my best friend and my fathers response was he is not coming to the wedding and that I am no longer his daughter and now all of my aunts and uncles on his side of the family are not coming as punishment to me….I guess this was the last part of my fathers family that I was trying to hold on to but as my fiance put it they have never been there for me, it’s always an emotional rollercoaster and when we have kids do we really want people like this around our children..I agree it’s just hard but in the end I’m lucky because my mom’s side of the family and I are very close and my fiance’s family is amazing and they are like 2nd family to me…IN the end I just have to look past all this crap and just focus on the amazing people that I do have in my life
Post # 34
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
OP, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. If I’ve discovered anything during wedding-planning-time, is that weddings seem to bring out the crazy, not the compassionate in some people. It sounds like your family already has had some drama with these folks, and they are probably steaming that you are getting this attention and they are not. Shame on them for wanting to “throw out” a perfectly beautiful dress YOU paid for. Shame on them for fighting you on putting their son in a suit. Good riddance, frankly, though I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
Post # 35
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
Where do they live around here, I’ll try to run them off the Beltway during rush hour. But without the kids in the car, obviously. 😛
Post # 36
Member
22 posts
Newbee
@icanhearyousmile: I just saw this and it made me smile 🙂
Post # 37
Member
22 posts
Newbee
The latest update, just found out today that my brother will not be at the wedding. I think it’s time that I wipe my hands clean, obviously you cannot make family care baout you and I am so tired of putting myself out there and constantly being disappointed. I just cannot believe how crappy people can be and people that are family!
Post # 38
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
@octoberbride102013: we dont have flowergirl or a ring bearer, I think this is asking for too much of little kids, who can cry and mess up. No kids wedding
Post # 39
Member
44 posts
Newbee
Sometimes people just can’t handle something not being about them. It’s YOUR day, and it sounds to me like this sister-in-law is using her kid to make herself matter. That’s really sad, but you can’t control her behaviour. You can only control yourself. I say let the little one wear whatever she has to wear to make things run as smoothly as possible. In my opinion, it’s not about the clothes, it’s about the people in them. We have a friend’s daughter as our flower girl, and her mom went out and bought a dress without talking to me first, and it’s totally wrong. it has enbroidered flowers on it, and have been VERY adamant about NO FLOWERS at the wedding. We are having all fall leaves (October 19th), and she will even being throwing leaves, but it’s not worth it to me to fight about a dress. The littlw girl is excited and happy, and honestly, noone but me is even going to pay much attention to the dress, because she’s going to be so cute it really doesn’t matter. It’s not worth straining my relationship with these friends over a dress that will only be worn for a couple of hours.
Post # 40
Member
44 posts
Newbee
p.s. I’m not saying you don’t have every right to be mad. I would be mad too in your position. I’m just saying, you have to choose your battles.. and it’s more important that the little girl isn’t hurt or disappointed.
Post # 41
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
@AlmostMrsShea: Did you read the entire thread? Preventing One little girl’s momentary disappointment is not worth a bride having her wedding day ruined by emotional terrorists & bullies. I think in the end the SIL did her a favor – now she wont have to deal with these awful, nasty ppl on her wedding day and can be surrounded by emotionally supportive ppl who love her – not manipulative emotional vampires
Post # 42
Member
22 posts
Newbee
@AlmostMrsShea: I hear what you are saying and I appreciate the feedback but things like this has not just been a one time deal, this is consistent and they are just the type of people that if they dont get their way they will not talk to you and this is the first time that I am standing up. For me it’s more about the principle, my sister in law and I agreed on a dress, I included her throughout the whole process and she made the final decision on the dress that she liked and then I paid for it. She asked me to order it bigger size since my niece has been having growth spurts and she is the one that said I will take the dress in and hem it because it’s much easier than having to let it out so I did everythng that they asked and then on top of it paid for it. The moment she got the dress she says it needs to be altered and you are paying for it. She owns her own online shop and her mother makes professional costumes for broadway and she said all along hemming the dress would not be a problem. Instead she just wants me to pay for more things when she agreed to everything up front. I feel bad for my niece but I feel bad that my sister in law is willing to not let her be in the wedding unless I shell out more money and she has every capability in the world to hem that dress. For me Im just sick of being walked on and sick of having people in my life that really could care less. The moment my fiance and I got engaged the first thing my brother said was we will not be at anything just the wedding, they said they didnt have the time. But it’s funny they constantly go away, she drove from Connecticut all the way down to Richmond to go get a tatoo but they dont have a few hours to spare for the engagement party, 2 bridal showers, bridal luncheon, bachelorette party, anything. The writing is on the wall and I realize they care about nothing but themselves and I am the complete opposite and I cant walk on eggshells for the rest of my life.
Post # 43
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
I get really freaking sick of people trying to control other people. I have had one too many falling outs with my FI’s sister and she is out of the wedding. She is a rude, controlling, and vindictive control-freak b*tch, and I only want people standing next to me whom I trust. If she screws with me, she will not be invited at all, and I don’t care if other relatives refuse to go because of it (I doubt that would happen). Your ahole of a brother is lucky to be invited (I am guessing you really wanted your niece and nephew there). Trust me, the kids are aware of what is going on and will eventually realize that their parents are a pair of douches. Keep him at arm’s length. Family can be worse than an enemy, because they have a sense of entitlement and can manipulate you more; you protect yourself better from an enemy. Best of luck to you…