Post # 1
Am I the only engaged/married bee who absolutely is horrified by the thought of wedding dress shopping? I feel so awful because it’s obviously what my friends/mom/mil are so excited about and I can barely keep from vomiting just at the thought of trying dresses on. They keep sending me links even though I’ve articulated how I don’t want to even look at dresses for months and how I’ll probably just order something offline to avoid the whole ordeal…
Sorry. I just needed to talk to people who’d listen instead of sending me some Vera Wang sample link.
Post # 3
I dreaded going dress shopping only because I recently moved to another city and I would have been doing all the dress shopping myself. My sister, mom, friends and family all live back home, and aside from my fiance, I don’t really know anyone well enough in the city that I’d want to take with me. So I went by myself.
What is it about the thought of going dress shopping that you don’t like? I felt overwhelmed at the thought of finding the perfect dress amongst thousands, but I’ve found the salespeople were pretty patient and didn’t ever force me to make a decision that day (the good places shouldn’t expect you to either). If you’re being bombarded with sample sale emails and opinions from other people, just ignore them. Start looking when you’re ready (although not too late! dresses can take up to 6 months or more to order unless you buy off the rack).
I obviously don’t know you so I don’t know how much importance you place on finding the perfect dress, but I’d probably avoid buying one online without seeing it or trying it on in person because in my experience I’ve found that the dresses can look significantly different (for better or worse) than the website stock/model photos.
I realize I didn’t really give much good advice but hang in there! I’m sure all brides have felt overwhelmed at some point.
Post # 4
I guess for me it’s 3 big things.
1) I just moved and my closest gals & gays are cross country so I know I’ll to arrange some sort of trip to let them feel included on the processes as they are my bridal party and all.
2) I’m feeling really insecure that I won’t be a pretty bride. I’m non-traditional for sure, and I just don’t feel like I’m going to look like those shiney, happy girls on SYTTD.
3) Everyone else is SOOOOO excited about the whole ordeal I feel like if I’m letting them down by not wanting to talk about or deal with it yet.
Thanks for listening.
Post # 5
Yeah, the dress part is tough. I actually have some appointments with some friends this weekend, my family couldn’t come because I live about four hours away from them and I don’t know how to feel about it. I find what helps me is to try not to make a big deal and to set small goals for each appointment. This weekend all I want to do is find out which styles flatter, and which styles I should avoid, this way I’m not stressing out about finding THE dress on the first try. Perhaps the next appointment is narrowing down these styles to try to find one that I like enough to purchase, but always keeping the pressure low. Don’t feel bad going by yourself either, that way your not “on show” and can really evaluate the styles for yourself before you show them to your friends and family. Keep expectations low and moral high. I think every woman no matter how “shiny” they are struggles with body image, but you have a fiance that thinks you’re the most beautiful girl in the world how you look right now, so don’t go trying to fit into some other sterotypical mold society throws at you. Another site that helped me see otherways of getting married is http://offbeatbride.com/ you might want to check them out if you consider yourself a really alternative bride. They show real women in their ceramonies and that may be better than looking at photoshopped models in catoloagues. Also check out the boards here of people showing off their dresses, I think it really helps to see how all body types are flattered, try not to stress you will be beautiful in no matter what you wear!