Post # 1
I am having a wedding in June and am having trouble deciding on the dress code.
We will have a “black tie experience” for guests in terms of plated multi-course meals, open premium bar, live band, etc. Also, the wedding party will all be wearing black tie.
My question is – can we make the wedding dress code black tie? Some people say black tie optional is too confusing for guests and you end up with an inconsistency in terms of what people are wearing (suits vs. tuxedos). Other people say black tie optional is considerate to guests. I would say 70% or more of our guests definitely are able to comfortably wear black tie and already own tuxedos, etc.
What are your thoughts on what we should do?
Post # 2
I’m having this same dilemma, also for June! Commenting to follow but I’m leaning towards black tie optional knowing that very few people won’t wear black tie
Post # 3
It would depend on the crowd. If you think most have a tux, go black tie. If you think most don’t, go black tie optional. Or even though it isn’t an actual designation, go black tie preferred. L
Art the end of the day, the reception is to thank and celebrate with your guest. You want them comfortable and eager to have a great time.
Post # 4
I would go black tie optional. That way the guests who own black tie clothing can wear it, but others still have the option of wearing something less formal that they have in their closet.
Post # 5
What type of venue? What time is your ceremony, reception? Is your wedding 100% indoors and air conditioned?
Post # 6
For my wedding, we are saying “black tie” while being fully aware that some guests are probably going to disregard this and just wear their best suit/dress. My fiance and I just don’t want to stand out so much from our guests in our formal attire, so if we get 3/4 of guests wearing tuxes and evening gowns, I’ll be happy.
Post # 7
If you want every guy in a tux and every woman in a gown, then say black tie. If you’re okay with some wiggle room there, then black tie optional is fine.
Post # 8
Hi! It’s a historic mansion on the water – estate property. Ceremony and cocktail hour will be outside on the water and the dinner/dancing will be tented with air conditioning.
Post # 9
Black tie preferred? To me that encorages it a bit more than black tie optional.
Post # 10
I would skip the black tie. A long gown outdoors in June is miserable.
Post # 11
If it’s outdoors I’d definitely go with optional – for an indoor wedding you’d have more flexibility. I wouldn’t want to be sweating outside in ultra formal wear, even just for the ceremony.
Post # 12
Black tie is not actually a dress code at all, rather it refers to the formality of the event. A formal event is not any more inappropriate than a backyard barbecue.
Traditionally, designations such as black tie optional are considered incorrect and redundant. Alternatives to a tuxedo or gown are dark suit with white shirt or dressy cocktail dress and will not get anyone bounced. So “black tie” is perfectly appropriate and would actually be the most accurate designation.
Contemporary etiquette accepts phrases like “black tie optional.”