(Closed) Wedding Dress Code Help!!!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I’m having this same dilemma, also for June! Commenting to follow but I’m leaning towards black tie optional knowing that very few people won’t wear black tie

Post # 3
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

 It would depend on the crowd.  If you think most have a tux, go black tie.  If you think most don’t, go black tie optional. Or even though it isn’t an actual designation, go black tie preferred. L

Art the end of the day,  the reception is to thank and celebrate with your guest. You want them comfortable and eager to have a great time. 

Post # 4
590 posts
Busy bee

I would go black tie optional. That way the guests who own black tie clothing can wear it, but others still have the option of wearing something less formal that they have in their closet.

Post # 5
4638 posts
Honey bee

What type of venue? What time is your ceremony, reception?  Is your wedding 100% indoors and air conditioned? 

Post # 6
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

For my wedding, we are saying “black tie” while being fully aware that some guests are probably going to disregard this and just wear their best suit/dress. My fiance and I just don’t want to stand out so much from our guests in our formal attire, so if we get 3/4 of guests wearing tuxes and evening gowns, I’ll be happy.

Post # 7
9924 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you want every guy in a tux and every woman in a gown, then say black tie.  If you’re okay with some wiggle room there, then black tie optional is fine.

Post # 9
85 posts
Worker bee

Black tie preferred?  To me that encorages it a bit more than black tie optional.

Post # 10
4638 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
bee678 :  I would skip the black tie. A long gown outdoors in June is miserable. 

Post # 11
282 posts
Helper bee

If it’s outdoors I’d definitely go with optional – for an indoor wedding you’d have more flexibility. I wouldn’t want to be sweating outside in ultra formal wear, even just for the ceremony.

Post # 12
13667 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Black tie is not actually a dress code at all, rather it refers to the formality of the event. A formal event is not any more inappropriate than a backyard barbecue. 

Traditionally, designations such as black tie optional are considered incorrect and redundant. Alternatives to a tuxedo or gown are dark suit with white shirt or dressy cocktail dress and will not get anyone bounced. So “black tie” is perfectly appropriate and would actually be the most accurate designation.

Contemporary etiquette accepts phrases like “black tie optional.”  

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