Post # 1
So, here’s the thing. I planned a wedding and bought my dress. My fiancé walked out without even telling me he was leaving. He never saw the dress, I never really saw myself marrying specifically HIM in the dress. I only saw myself as a bride and that I could get married in that dress. I am with someone who is much better for me now and he says that since I already have a dress, if we decided to marry and plan a wedding, I don’t have to buy a new one. It would save money. However, while I know he doesn’t care and everyone around me has good reasoning in why it shouldn’t matter, it just feels weird to me. I know the dress will look different because I’m losing weight and it will have to be taken in anyway. But isn’t it wrong to wear the dress you were supposed to marry someone else in, or does it really not matter and I’m overthinking it?
Post # 2
It’s not right or wrong but your feelings about the dress (logical or not) matter more than anyone else’s. If it makes you uncomfortable to wear it then I don’t think you should.
Post # 3
I am of the mindframe that it is just cloth and thread. There are no magical powers ascribed to it. Before it got to you, it was a bolt of fabric sitting in a warehouse likely sewn together by someone making a just above minimum wage. I don’t see much point in spending more money for a new dress you may not like as much unless you really enjoy throwing money away and have some spare cash burning a hole in your pocket.
If you love it, wear it.
If you don’t still love it, then get a new one.
It really is not that much more complicated than that.
Post # 4
I love the dress. I’m not really sure how I feel about potentially wearing it. The dress was discontinued this year too. It’s simple with just a touch of bling and so me that I really don’t think another dress would match it. But it’s just an odd feeling. It’s hard to describe.
Post # 5
I definitely wouldn’t have the money for a new one unless I saved. I bought this one with spare money from university. I do love the dress. It’s just an odd feeling that I can’t explain. I just kind of wanted to get some outside opinions to see what others thought.
Post # 6
It’s totally up to you and how the dress makes you feel. Do you bad memories attached to the dress or do you just love it and feel special when you wear it? You could possibly sell it and use the money to buy another one. It’s all about how it makes you feel 🙂
Post # 7
I think your fiancé being ok with it was the biggest obstacle. And I do want to say it speaks a lot about his character that he’s so cool with it. He’s obviously very secure with himself and your relationship. I would wear it and save the dress money for bigger and better things!
Post # 8
we’re not engaged yet. It’s just something we’ve talked about being a possibility in the future. He really doesn’t mind because he knows I loved the dress and was so upset when everything happened. He was right there for me when the previous person I was with ditched me like I was nothing. But I admire that you, not even knowing him, can see that he has a great character. I do agree with you. Using the money I would have used on another dress can go a long way.
Post # 9
Right now, I don’t know how I’d feel in the dress. Currently, it’s too small. It fit when I got it, but I went through a bad time of not eating then binge eating when I could finally eat again. Once it fits again, I could try it on and see how I feel. That’s a pretty good idea!
Post # 10
I think, when you get engaged, you should go try on dresses. Try on different dresses in bridal shops, and try on your dress. You should be able to tell how you feel by doing this. You might feel like no other dresses compare to the one you picked. Or, you might love the feeling of a new dress for a new relationship. If you decide you don’t want to wear the dress you have, sell it. Then use the money, and whatever else you are able to save, to get a new one. If you decide your dress is the one, you will probably feel more confident in that decision knowing you shopped around and still love your dress.
I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here. Just follow your feelings.
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2020 - New York, New York
If you feel weird about it, then I would suggest selling the old dress and getting a new one. You deserve to feel beautiful on your wedding day, not haunted by your past relationship. However, since your Fiance is fine with it and you would be saving money, you definitely don’t have to get a new dress if you can move past its history.
The dress bothered you enough for you to post this question and seek our opinions, so I think you should wear a new dress. It seems like the practical side of the issue is affecting your decision (e.g. saving money). However, if it bothers you, it bothers you! Make sure you give equal weight to your feelings, because they matter just as much as the practical stuff. You don’t want to have any regrets about wearing that dress, because it’ll appear in every photo you’re in!
Post # 12
If you’re feeling superstitious about it, why not carry a small evil eye as your something blue? (am serious!)
Post # 13
that dress is going to make me feel beautiful no matter who I’m marrying. I fell in love with how the dress made me look, not who was supposed to see it(if that makes sense). I know I will still love how I look in the dress and it will probably still be the one even if I’m with someone new. I’m startinf to think I would have more regrets not wearing the dress that first made me feel like I could be a bride. It’s not the dress’ fault that the person I was with was a jacka**. I do appreciate your opinion❤️
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
I defintely think just hold on to the dress. Wait till you are engaged and try on other things. It’s amazing how much styles change, and you might surprise yourself in a few years with how much you like something else.
If you still find that dress to be the one you love the most, consider doing some kind of ritual to clear the mental and emotional energy you have attached to it. Some people like sage, other incense, maybe just take it out of the bag and outside to let the fresh air run through it and carry away any old associations.
Ultimately, if you feel weird about it, it might end up being a disappointment to wear it, no matter how much you love it. Since it isn’t something you have to decide right now, I’d just hold on and see how you feel when the time comes
Post # 15
I’ve thought about doing a cleansing ritual. The only reason I won’t is mostly because I don’t want the dress to smell like smoke or sage. I absolutely hate the smell of sage. My ex burned it all the time and I swear it smells just like armpits.
I do think I’m going to hold on to my dress. Hopefully, when I get engaged again, it’ll fit and I can try it on to see if it’s still the one. If there is even a slight doubt when I put it on, definitely going to sell it.