(Closed) Wedding dress disagreement with family

posted 3 years ago in Dress
Post # 32
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

It’s your wedding not theirs!  If they are paying for it, then they should have some choice in the decision, in which case I would keep looking.  Unless it’s a past season dress, you can order it for some time without worry of it selling out.  If you are paying for it, go for what you want.  Take their opinions into consideration to see if they make a valid point, but if they don’t then don’t worry about it.  Ultimately you want to feel good on your wedding day.

Post # 34
Member
890 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
zoologistbride :  rule of thumb, if you or fiancé pay for it, you get to choose. If family pays for it, they get some room for suggestions. Realistically, they are hoping you’ll spend as little money as possible on the dress right? They “liked” the £199 because it’s £199 not because you look nice right? Hmm… Why not just go shopping for dress without them, pick the one you like, pay for it together with your fiancé, but never disclose how much it is to your family? I always use terms like “enough”, “sufficient”, “affordable” to replace the exact amount spent on something to my mother. To her knowledge, both my SO and me will earn enough to rent an affordable and comfortable house within our budget and we’ll pay for our wedding next year. Maybe change how to discuss your finances with your family might help reduce your stress.

Post # 35
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Is that at Wed2B? (A guess based on the prices/pictures). If it is, you take the dress away that day, so you only need to worry if you’re about 6-8 weeks away from your day so you have time for any alterations. You’re still 15 months away from your wedding, you’ve got plenty of time for the stock to change and to find something you prefer still at a really reasonable price. Wait till you find something you love! They get dresseds in all the time.

Post # 37
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

You could always just lie and say that you got a cheaper dress that looked the same, and just get the one you want with the sleeves. Though honestly, I feel like you should just be sticking to YOUR desires without lying because it’s what YOU want. But, I digress. No one looks THAT close at pictures, and by the time the wedding comes around might forget the tiny details of the dress? You’re going to be a married woman, and will have to start making your own decisions with your husband, so start your marriage off right by sticking up for your personal choices, and not worry about the opinions of other people. 🙂

Post # 38
Member
4594 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Get the dress you want.

Post # 39
Member
207 posts
Helper bee

I love the 1st one, the top right and bottom left are nice too but not as good as the first one. I don’t like the last one at all.

i think you should go with whatever you will feel comfortable and happy in. The last thing you want is to look back on pictures and only be thinking “I wish I had bought the other dress.” 

Post # 40
Member
4884 posts
Honey bee

 I get that you are trying to make this an inclusive experience, but sometimes you have to play the cards life dealt you.  And life did not deal you a Hallmark channel movie family that is going to make this a super special bonding time and you were dealt with a controlling family that like to judge how you spend money.  If you want to save yourself 15 months of headaches, you need to be realistic about who your family is and what their priorities are and be judicious in the information you choose to give them accordingly.  Sucks, but that is just life.

Post # 41
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
zoologistbride :  “I just love them and want them to be involved in this big moment of my life, even though they hadn’t been very supportive”.

Love your family a bit less; love yourself – and your fiance – a bit more.

Post # 42
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I would absolutely not get the “Greek goddess” dress. It adds about 10 pounds visually to your figure. Ther mermaid flatters you the best, but the other two look lovely as well.

It’s not anyone’s business which style you choose. Even if they are paying for it, they get to weigh in on the price, but not the style.

Do you by chance have catty relatives? Because the goddess is far and away unflattering on you.

Post # 43
Member
609 posts
Busy bee

Get the dress you feel comfortable in, no contest! I bet if your fam actually thought about it instead of thinking of themselves, they really wouldn’t want you feeling uncomfortable on your wedding day. 

Post # 44
Member
3804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

100% get one of the top 2. Either rock the long sleeve or if you’re not comfortable get the short sleeve. You don’t even need to tell your family what you’re getting. It’s not their dress. As for the blush colour they’re probably imagining something really pink, it will be very subtle. 

Definitely don’t get the Grecian one – it’s just meh and not particularly flattering. 

Post # 45
Member
890 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
zoologistbride :  so sorry to hear that. Try not to tell them about the cost anymore. Just mentioned you know what you’re doing and make sure you do know what you’re doing k!!

Have you considered pre-owned dress? We’re paying for our own wedding and I’m happy getting a pre-owned dress, so I paid less than £200 for a lovely Victoria Jane Graziella and the dress fits me well. Another 12 months to go.. fingers crossed I would keep my weight as it is now. We’d have to fork out the accommodation cost for my mother when she comes for our wedding, so using the cash I saved to pay for that…

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