(Closed) Wedding Dress Shopping Anxiety

posted 3 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

Hi! Welcome to the Bee πŸ™‚ 

It wouldn’t be my place to say WHEN you should start shopping, but I would allow at least 12 months to allow the dress to be ordered and for you to have enough time for alterations.

I get married next April and went shopping last November (so around 17 months out). My dress arrived in the store this week after being on order for 28 weeks (7 months)

I would look at booking an appointment somewhere that will let you try on lots of different styles, so that you can maybe narrow your focus a little bit? πŸ™‚ I knew what I wanted but not everyone does!

I’d also like to add that Wedding Dresses are fantastically made. They will transform you. They are so well constructed that they will make you look about a million times better than you ever thought possible.

My tips would be:

– try on lots of different styles

– wear underwear that makes you feel good. You will have to strip down!

– Take your time – there’s no rush right now πŸ™‚

– Take maybe 1 o 2 people with you, or go on your own to start. Too many cooks spoil the broth, as they say! πŸ™‚


Post # 3
329 posts
Helper bee

I did it pretty early. My wedding is in July, but I shopped in September. However it’s because I left the country for a bit in November-December and my Maid/Matron of Honor suggested earlier is better. 

If I didn’t have that trip going, I probably would have done it in November. [Edit: As in order the dress in November, giving myself time in the previous two months to try on other styles. Although thinking about it, November would have cut it close maybe. It all depends on your dress. My dress came in in February when I ordered it early October.]

Other things I would have done: gone to a few appointments by myself to try on dresses. It’s not that my Maid/Matron of Honor wasn’t awesome (she is), but I am a slower thinker. I just like to take my time to process things. And like you, I’m pretty self conscious and knew nothing about bridal gowns. 

So if I were to go back in time, I would book a few appointments and tell the consultant that I have this budget (just have a range you’re comfortable spending) and would like to try on as many different styles as possible. Sometimes it’ll surprise you. I thought with my plus size figure, I should go with A-line or ballgown. But I ended up going with a fit and flare! 

If possible, take pictures so you can look at them later. Also never try on dresses you can’t afford. I know you expressed that you’re not sure how much is a fair amount to spend on a dress, but you’ll know when a price is out of your comfort zone. If it makes your eyes budge out of its sockets, definitely don’t try it on. 

Post # 4
255 posts
Helper bee

samantha1014:  I started shopping a year out. 

Sometimes dresses take 6+ months to come in (for whatever reason) so best to shop at least 6-8 months out. You have plenty of time. 

At this point, my recommendaiton would be to not stress, get a general idea of styles you like/don’t like, and think about appointments for later on, maybe late fall/early winter. 

Post # 5
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I got engaged and starting looking right away! I found it fairly quick but I knew what I was looking for. If your picky theN I would start ASAP! Sometimes it can take six months for a dress to come in depending on designer. I feel like there is no fair amount. Again depends on style, designer, etc. With alterations my dress was $2,000!! Just have fun and when you’ve found it you’ll know! πŸ™‚ 

Post # 6
9828 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

We got engaged in Nov, I bought my dress in Jan and we’re getting married in Oct. Entirely up to you on when to go. I bought an off the rack dress so I didn’t have to wait for anything to be shipped to me. But had I chosen something that needed ordered I would have had just enough time to get it in.


Post # 7
5365 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

I bought my first dress 2 years out. I ended up having regret and bought my second dress about 16 months out. It took around 8 months for it to come in. 

Post # 8
202 posts
Helper bee

samantha1014:  Wooo!! Fellow October 2017 bride here! πŸ™‚ I’ve been to one dress shop already (and struck out pretty outstandingly) and have another appointment at a different shop at the end of July. I think if you’re ready to start looking and think it may take you awhile to find something you love that it’s totally fine to start making appointments at boutiques in your area. It’s your wedding, your dress and your day! Do things at your pace and when you feel comfortable. You know yourself better than anyone πŸ™‚ 

Also, I wanted to agree with PP! Go in with an open mind, try on a variety of styles, go to as many shops as you want, and take a small, supportive group with you when start shopping. And know that you’re going to look gorgeous in whatever you choose! πŸ™‚ Best of luck bee! 

Post # 9
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: The Hayloft

I totally understand where you are coming from with dreading dress shopping. I’ve always had issues with self image and clothing shopping in general and this is a BIG clothing purchase. Our wedding is October 6th 2017 so we’re right around the same time you are. Like others have said it takes 6-9 months for dresses to come in unless you buy off the rack and then it’s suggested you leave 4 months for alterations. We decided to start shopping now just in case it took a long time to find anything I like. I think maybe it would be a good idea to start now that way you have PLENTY of time to be picky and see what you like without the pressure of a time crunch. Im so glad we started early because I was able to find something I really liked and will have so much time before I need it now. It really takes the added pressure of time out of the equation. 

Post # 10
1703 posts
Bumble bee

I had anxiety too…I don’t feel good about my weight, I didn’t have any clue what I wanted, I dreaded spending all that money on a dress I was going to wear once (I am eloping, so it isn’t even like anyone is going to see it in real life…people will see it in pictures), I hate shopping, etc…I wouldn’t say I am picky in details, but I am picky about wearing something FLATTERING (since i wasn’t happy with my weight, I didn’t think anything COULD be flattering)

I got engaged last October, getting married this August…I waited until LAST WEEK to go dress shopping…for MONTHS, I kept getting lectured by everyone under the sun that I was waiting too long, I wouldn’t be able to find anything, etc…I have to say, hindsight 20/20 – I waited to long! LOL..that said, I LUCKED OUT! I ended up finding the dress at the first shop I went to – someone else had ordered it and ended up buying another dress…the dress is new, it needs to be altered, but it will totally work…and I LOVE it!! …my mom also loves it and so do the friends I showed pictures to! 

My best advice – buy a few bridal magazines…cut out pictures of things you like…it doesn’t have to be entire dresses, just some details as a starting point…I had about 10 pictures in my folder when I went…including everything from the cut I *thought* would be most flattering, to my “if I had an amazing body, this is what I would choose” cut….surprisingly, I got my dream cut!! I never in a million years thought it would work for me, but it looks fantastic!  Go with an open mind…when the consultant holds up a dress and you aren’t sure, try it…unless there is something you DEFINITELY don’t like about it, try it …you never know! 

Good luck!

Post # 11
259 posts
Helper bee

i dont even have date yet for 2017 but i went just to try some on with my mom. i thought i wouldnt find anything and get discouraged but i was wrong! the first dress i tried on was so beautiful every other dress looked dull! Take it lightly, have fun with it, dont make it into something stressfull its supposed to be fun, once you take it like that i promise youll enjoy it. you have so much time you can enjoy the process. you can go look at dresses now.

Post # 12
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

samantha1014:  You have PLENTY of time. It takes many designers 6-9 months to fill the order. Then it can take up to a month for alterations. So don’t rush yourself. I ordered mine in May and my wedding is next April. 11 months out worked great. So you can start now if byou’d like, but don’t rush yourself if you’re not ready. I would suggest not waiting any longer than 10 months out because then your choices are limited due to ordering time lines. Good luck bee!

Post # 14
3292 posts
Sugar bee

I was very worried about dress shopping. I ended up looking at dresses by myself and that way no one could comment. Once I had the dress I showed everyone at the salon. I am not sure if that would help with your stress level but it did the trick for me. 

Post # 15
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m also getting married in October 2017 and have my dress already– the key is to try on a bunch of different things at a few salons until you find something you like, and be open to trying on some styles you’re not so sure about. Also, it helps to you that you might not have that bridal “crying-in-the-middle-of-Kleinfeld’s” moment– I knew my dress was the one when I just couldn’t get it out of my head. Your wedding dress doesn’t define you, even though it’s for a special occasion, so try not to think of it as a high-pressure situation. Good luck!!

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