(Closed) wedding dress shopping with mom (and a little venting to myself)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ll share my story. I posted it in another thread, but it is akin to your experience.

I tried to schedule my first trip around my sister’s schedule so she could travel the 2.5 hours to be there. She claimed she wanted to, but then, after scheduling, she decided she couldn’t come after all. She obviously knew I was going and that I was hugely excited. Fast forward the month to my appointment. I talked to her in the days leading up to that over online chat, and I could tell something was going on. She was like hinting that there was news but not just coming out to say it. So I am in the middle of my appointment when she calls. I thought she was just trying to like be in the moment with me or something, so I answer and the convo goes something like this:

Sister: Hey, what’s up?
Me: I am at my appointment.
Sister: Oh, right. I thought maybe you wouldn’t have left for it yet.
Me: Ok?
Sister: Well, I have news that I just couldn’t wait another minute to share! I’m pregnant! I took over the counter tests and they were positive, but I won’t know for sure until I go to the doctor’s tomorrow to get the blood test. So you can’t tell anyone else yet. But I had to tell you right now.
Me: …!…

So she obviously knew before hand and could have told me like the day before. I was excited for her and all, but I just think it was a total blatant steal my thunder moment. (She was not, in fact, pregnant anyway….)

—-

Sorry you also had a not so great experience. Some people just don’t realize that when someone is excited about something, be it wedding or whatever, that it would be nice to feel support and encouragement. I think people just go into the mode of “it’s their wedding; it’s no big deal to me. I have things going on in my life” and that’s true, but I think it’s just courtesy, especially with close family that you love, to at least try to be excited for them just a little bit!

Post # 4
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We see other brides-to-be on tv or whatever and we see their moms so supportive to them, and we want the same too, but we have to understand that everybody’s life is different and we cant have it ‘the way we want’, or ‘the way we expect it to be’, my mom has been married 3 times and she is now single, she does not believe in love or marriage but I STILL took her with me to try wedding gowns on, she was negative alot but it still meant something to me that she was actually there.  I know deep inside that our moms are happy to see us happy, so thats just what we have to live with

Post # 5
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My mom is also not an enthusastic wedding-dress-shopper. She is also A.D.D. and cannot focus for more than 30 minutes at any given time. So my game plan was to have *the* dress picked out, let her pick out 3 others and then wow her with my gown. (Which she previously said she hated because it wasn’t white) But once she saw it she was all smiles.

Moral of my story is just know who your mom is… it kind of helps. I know my mom is A.D.D. and couldn’t really handle the intense shopping- so I did most of that by my lonesome, it’s sad I know but it really worked and I got a mid-to-great level experience with mom.

I don’t know if that helps, but that’s how I rangled my mom!

Post # 6
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

my mum is the typical… right have you got it yet? in 5 minutes and then if we havent she will walk out the store… whenever i take her shopping it is very painful, because I am the bargain hunter.. I will quite happily take an hour to go through one store, and then on to the next and then the next 

So my experience was unplanned no booking at all and it was actually mums suggestion – we had travelled to our capital city for a doctors appointment and we had the morning to kill.

We went to one store and mum MADE me try on this horrible dress and then quickly said… you can just alter it and wanted me to buy dress.(there was nothing i liked on the dress so i refused big time.)

However went into the second store, and mum quite comfortably sat for an hour while i tried 5 dresses on…We bought the fourth one, but once we found it there was no hesitation, there was no having to have this altered and that and I bought the dress.

What i thought would be a painful experience wasnt but it was very quick! If I was by myself or with my Maid/Matron of Honor we would have gone from store to store to see what else was there. But im very happy with my choice..and glad to have mum there!

I hope your next experience is a little better! maybe next time take your MOH?

Post # 7
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My mom HATES shopping, and I think her exact wording when we decided to go to a wedding dress shop together was, “Ok, I will go to ONE dress shop for only ONE hour.”

God, don’t make me twist your arm ok?  (Btw, going dress shopping together was actually HER idea.)

Anways, once we got to the dress shop, she seemed to enjoy herself just fine.  Still, I took my sister with me for the more intense dress shopping experiences where we checked out multiple shops in a given day.  My mom certainly couldn’t have handled that.  It’s kind of hard hearing about other moms who are so into dress shopping with their daughters, but I would still take my mom over some other mom any day.

Post # 8
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yes!  I took my mom to Vera Wang with me.  She was on the phone with my dad asking what was for dinner.  I would come out and she would give me an indifferent look as well.  It was HORRIBLE.  After that I went wedding dress shopping on my own.  She still doesn’t like my dress.  She pulls the passive aggressive “Well, if you like it.” card.  When I told her my dress came in, she asked, “Can you exchange it?”  I was so pissed.  She insisted on coming to my first fitting which wasn’t so bad except she wanted to make all these changes like adding beading, etc.  I don’t want beading! 

She has managed to be negative most of this whole wedding process so I’ve tried to leave her out of the wedding planning.  I just hate that if she doesn’t like something she doesn’t even speak up when we’re with our wedding planner.  She’ll just sit there and make faces.  WTF?  She hasn’t seen our church yet so I’m wondering what horrible thing she’ll say (or face she’ll make) about that too. 

I’m a little nervous for the wedding day because I don’t think she’ll be emotional seeing me in my dress. I think she’ll just say something like, “If you like it.” or be indifferent.  But at least I’ll have my bridesmaids there. 

I just really hope my mom’s negativity doesn’t carry over to me on my wedding day.  It’s strange how you can dwell on such little negative comments/actions and have it ruin the whole day.

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