(Closed) Wedding Dress shopping with the FMIL?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
3611 posts
Sugar bee

futuremrsbutler :  For a second I thought your Future Mother-In-Law was coming in from actual Athens, Greece to come dress shopping with you and I was going to say there’s no way you couldn’t invite her….then I figured it out. Anyway, given that she’s not coming in specially for dress shopping and you aren’t all that close to her, I don’t think there’s any need to invite her if it’s going to stress you out. Just enjoy your weekend with your mom and show your Future Mother-In-Law a picture of the dress later if you feel so inclined. Oh, and ignore any rude comments she might make, because if she does that then she’s the one with the problem.

Post # 3
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

futuremrsbutler :  

i actually had a really similar situation- mom coming from Tennessee to ATL to help pick out my dress, and I invited my Future Mother-In-Law from Florida. They’d never met before. 

I was a little concerned because they’re very different- mom is a conservative Christian republican while Future Mother-In-Law is a liberal hippie- but it went amazingly. They got along great and bonded over a surprising mutual love of cheeseburgers and gardening. My Future Mother-In-Law actually picked out my dress at Bridals by Lori!

i couldn’t imagine it going any better. Maybe your mom and Future Mother-In-Law will find things in common too! 

 

Just for kicks and giggles I’ll include pictures of us all happy together after saying yes to the dress with my MOH!

Post # 5
Member
2534 posts
Sugar bee

I think the question is actually, do you want to bring a large group of 5 people with you when dress shopping?  Or do you want some special mother-daughter time?  

Post # 6
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Nah I wouldn’t invite her, you will NOT miss her and she can go suit shopping with her actual child 😀 good luck hope you find your perfect dress 

Post # 7
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’m personally fairly close with my Future Mother-In-Law, but I wanted dress shopping to be something I did with just my mom. So, when she asked about my dress, I just told her it was a special thing I wanted to do with my mom and everything was fine. There’s no rule that you have to invite a bunch of people dress shopping. Plus, I found that it was easier to find my dress with only two opinions in the room instead of a bunch! 

 

Good lunch finding your dress! 

Post # 8
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I would not invite, unless you just want a whole bunch of opinions from people, since you’re not overly close with Future Mother-In-Law.

Post # 9
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

normally I would lean toward inviting, but since your mom is making a special trip I would go just with her. Then if you go again/have fittings invite your Future Mother-In-Law.

Maybe give your Fiance a heads up on your thoughts so that if his family complains (which would be ridiculous) he can cut them off with your intentions.

Post # 10
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

That’s a lot of people at one appointment! MY Future Mother-In-Law and SIL understood that it was going to be a mother-daughter outing first time around.  I’m nervous enough about dress shopping as it is, I couldn’t imagine doing it in front of an audience. 

Post # 11
Member
61 posts
Worker bee

This is actually when my mom and Mother-In-Law first met! It worked out great.

Post # 12
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee

This definitely depends on your personality. For me, there’s no way I’d feel comfortable with that kind of entourage unless I was sure that each one of those invited were people who’s opinions I really wanted to have.

I don’t think it’s normal to invite FMILs to go dress shopping, so I certainly wouldn’t feel any guilt over it if you decided to go just with your mom.

That being said, I did have both moms go and it was a really great time. It was the first time my mom & Mother-In-Law got together since we got engaged, and it gave them a chance to be gidddy together. But, I also adore my Mother-In-Law and knew she’d only be a positive addition.

Post # 13
Member
2357 posts
Buzzing bee

Dress shopping is a pain in the ass and my mother wants it to be some magical mother/daughter bonding time. It hasnt been. The only person I actually want there is my friend of 25 years because she is honest with me what looks good and what looks bad.  I have no intentions of inviting the Future Mother-In-Law. Shes nice n ‘ all, but she already dictated how her other daughter in laws wedding would be, and even picked out the dress. I’m not having that.  But I do send her pics of dresses that are horrible. 🙂

Post # 14
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

i had a similar situation. I kind of felt obligated to invite the Future Mother-In-Law but then the future sister in law would have to tag along too. I get along well with both of them, we’re just not all that close. I realized that it would just end up being too many opinions (some that opinions that i could care less about), and I really just wanted it to be a special day, I am the only daughter and the baby. It ended up being a magical time!

Post # 15
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

If your FH was an only child or only had brothers, then I’d say invite her. But since she has daughters she will get a chance to do this with them. Keep it small, go with your mom, and have a blast!

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