(Closed) Wedding Dress shopping with the FMIL?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

I only went with my mom and my future mother in law, it was a bonding experience for the 3 of us

Post # 18
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Half Moon Bay

I had a really frustrating dress experience with my Future Mother-In-Law. My mom is back in California so I went to my appointment with my fiance and Future Mother-In-Law and it was… awkward. She kept trying to dress me in things I was not interested in and omg… she spied on me WHILE I was in the dressing room. I was changing into a strapless bra at the time and she straight up saw my boobs, and I was not close to her at all at that point. Ugh. Then she kept loudly asking about what size I was and my measurements. She has made comments about my weight several times to me and other people so that made me super embarrassed.

 

Anyways, enough about my experience lol. I honestly think the less people, the better. Especially if they are opinionated. If she does go, just remember, you are supposed to be the one that loves the dress, not them.

Post # 19
Member
4820 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

futuremrsbutler :   I’d suggest enjoying the special time with your mom – especially since inviting the Future Mother-In-Law seems to necessitate inviting a lot of other people as well.   

Post # 20
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Saint Domingue

futuremrsbutler :  if you’re not close to your Future Mother-In-Law (sounds like you aren’t and I’m sorry you’ve had to endure rude comments from her in the past.  That’s never okay,) I see no reason you need to invite her.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience with your mother which, for all you know, she may have been dreaming of a lot of your life.  No need to bring a troop of people along with you.  

If you were close to your Future Mother-In-Law, sure you could invite her if you wanted, but an understanding woman would also realize this can be a very special time to be shared between mother and daughter and wouldn’t feel jilted if an invite wasn’t extended.  It sounds like your Future Mother-In-Law is not one of these women, but, if she makes any snide remarks that get back to you you don’t have to explain your decision.  You’re the bride, you’re the daughter, and your mother is your mother. It’s really pretty simple, though I know nothing is ever simple when there are difficult people in the picture.  

It will work out and you’ll have a wonderful day with your mother!  Have a great time making memories with her and good luck finding the perfect gown! 

Post # 21
Member
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I didn’t ask my Future Mother-In-Law to come dress shopping with me – I went with my mum and one of my sisters (the other is only 13 and had a sports committment at the same time as my dress appointment, so she chose to go to the game instead – priorities lol). I did show her a photo of me in the dress, and I also showed my FSILs. I like my Future Mother-In-Law and I guess we’re close, but I already don’t like shopping and preferred to keep the group small.

Post # 22
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I have a Future Mother-In-Law relationship that is slightly rockier than your relationship, but it’s the same kind of situation where we’re both kind of trying to mend fences. I still didn’t invite her dress shopping. Both of us either trying to be nice/please each other was just not something I wanted when shopping for my dress. My mom, dad, and one bridesmaid came along and it worked out great – particularly because we all had fun and I was pretty open to trying on any type of dress.

I think this might be something that doesn’t need your FMIL’s attendance. It may just be more of a stressor on the day. There are other things she can be involved in.

Post # 23
Member
8787 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

turnipgirl : 

Lovely dress, back view especailly ( oh dear that sounds rude , didn’t mean it it that way !)  

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