Post # 1
I am planning to have a bridal shower, bachelorette, and perhaps a couples’ shower. My fiance may or may not have a bachelor party, still deciding. Now, if I have bridesmaids/guests coming to all or most of these events, AS WELL AS the wedding, what is the proper etiquette for gift-giving? I want to keep expenses as low as possible and make things as clear cut for my wedding party and other guests as well. Can anybody PLEASE give me some info on wedding gift etiquette? It would be greatly appreciated!
Post # 3
What exactly do you mean by gift giving. You giving them gifts or them gifting you?
Post # 4
You want to know what to expect from your guests’ in terms of giving gifts to you/FI? I might be a smidge confused, sorry.
Post # 5
Oops! Sorry for the confusion. I originally meant them giving gifts to us, but come to think of it I would also like to know about giving gifts to them as well!
Post # 6
I’m confused…. No one is obligated to give you a gift….
Post # 7
personally I told my wedding party that i wasnt expecting gifts from them. In your situation it would be a hard for them to have to buy yo ua gift for each of these events
Post # 8
I know no one is OBLIGATED to give a gift but for stuff like this people usually do so if you are having so many events maybe make it clear that for the couples shower so one should bring a gift, put it on the invitation even. Or say “please no gifts, if you would like to bring something bring your favorite wine/beer/dish to share”
Post # 9
well, in terms of them giving you a gift….they don’t really have to. Gift giving, though greatly appreciated, is totally up to the guests (for the most part ;)). Also, to kind of avoid this….is there anyway that you can not invote people to more than one? For example: when I was going to have a couples shower AND shower I was only going to invite our coupled friends to the couples one and not to the regular shower.
Now, for you gifting them….here’s what I did: I got my ladies that hosted a shower/party, etc a gift and then all of my ladies got a gift for being in the wedding.
is that what you needed to know?
Post # 10
As for me and my “expectations in receving gifts”, I really dont have any. I dont want to be hurt or upset or even bummed by setting any expectations. I dont even know about doing a Registry. As many times we’ve been able to purchase their wedding gift online which was then shipped directly to the couple. Kinda makes it nice not to lug anything into the wedding and then have the bride/groom worry about loading it wherever they may be staying for the night. We really want our families/friends to get together and just celebrate and eat with us! =) Gifts are always a plus but definitely not necessary! I would just expect little 1 or 2 item things from people for the other festivities (shower, bachelorette). And some of these you are more than welcome to put “No Gifts” at the bottom of the invitation!
Again, this is just my opinion, dont mean to offend or anything. Best of Luck!
Post # 11
Here’s my understanding:
The shower is for gifts. I haven’t had mine yet, nor have I ever been to one, but that’s what I’ve been reading. Therefore, those invited to the shower will likely bring a gift. Who is hosting the shower? Maybe you could let them know not to get you a gift, since they will be paying for and setting up the shower.
I think for the bachelorette party you should just specify “no gifts.” I’m sure you’ll have dinner/drinks paid for, but I don’t necessarily think the bachelorette party is a time for “real” gifts…
For the couples shower, maybe you should try to keep the guest list different from the first shower. Maybe focus more on couples you know through the man (so maybe their SO wouldn’t come to your bridal shower, but would come to the couples shower). I’m sure there will be some repeats, but if they are mostly bridesmaids/family, you can let them know that you don’t need a gift at both or something like that.
That’s just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt! I’m also very confused by the whole gift-giving thing. I see (on here) ALL the time that no one ever has to give a gift and you should be grateful for anything you get (or their presence). However, I also hear that almost no one would ever think of going to a shower or wedding without a gift….so I’m not sure why gifts shouldn’t be expected (at least by the majority of guests. Of course there are always exceptions).
Post # 12
I completely agree w/@krobbie:. Of course you expect to get gets, even if people don’t have to or are not requierd to. But, if they are coming to multiple events, I would probably verbally or even print it on the invites.
Have you thought about doing a “stock the bar” party instead of a couple’s shower? Everyone brings you some alchohol (I think!) instead of gifts. I’ve seen it on here a few times and thought that was a neat idea.
Post # 13
If I was your bridesmaid, I would probably bring you a gift for the shower (like a vase), a gift for the couple shower (something you could use together like a cookbook), a gift for your bachlorette party (like panties that said bride on them) and then a typical wedding gift. I always bring a gift to an event, even if someone is just having a dinner party, but that’s just me. If you are concerned about all of the gifts, I would pick the couples shower to have people not bring gifts. No guy that I know wants to sit in a room and watch people open gifts.
But I say, have as many parties as you want and people can make their own decisions about gift giving.
Post # 14
I’ve never given a gift at a bachelorette party but I’ve paid for a few drinks or chipped in for things.
Personally, I find multiple showers very distasteful. I’m not saying that you’re doing this – but I definitely would not invite the same people to both showers or make it clear that you don’t need gifts at one of them. Maybe even call the couple’s one something different. Why are you having two anyway?