(Closed) Wedding Family DRAMA

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Am I in the wrong?

    YES! You never cut someone once you've asked them to be in your wedidng!

    No! If she didn't buy the dress, shoes, etc. and didn't meet with you at all, your not to blame!

    I can see both sides, but you have to do what you have to do.

  • Post # 18
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I don’t think you can really have expectations of a 12 year old other than to request her presence on your wedding day. Family is so important but it’s unfair to project adult expectations on a adolescent. 

    Post # 19
    295 posts
    Helper bee

    Honestly OP, get a grip. You handled this all wrong. First of all, you can only give your bridal party the attire information and tell them where they need to be and when to be there the day of your wedding. Everything else is optional. If she or any other member of the bridal party couldn’t make it to your ‘meetings’, then just pass along the information. And guess what? If she doesn’t have her attire together by the day of your wedding, she doesn’t walk. She’s more than welcome to be a guest. It’s that simple. 

    IMO, you took this way too far and now that there are hurt feelings, you are trying to backtrack and attempting to justify your actions. If I were you, just own up to the ridiculousness and tell her you’d still like her to be a part of the bridal party. Then drop it. If she does or doesn’t, thats up to her and her mother. 

    Post # 20
    8029 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I don’t know why you need to have meetings, and I really don’t know why the 12 year old would need to attend. Even regular bridesmaids have lives and may not be able to make every wedding “event” like dress fittings or hair trials. My 12 year old was a junior bridesmaid this past year and I took her separately than the other bridesmaids to get fitted etc. and I had her hair done by my friend who is a hairdresser. And I would not let my 12 year old wear makeup either. Not having a dress yet could be an issue- but that doesn’t seem all that you are fired up about.

    Post # 21
    1056 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    View original reply
    thrwybee:  I do not think they are having weekly meetings..

    Post # 22
    2403 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    amberlauryn:  I saw the update and I know that these were two meetings – dress fitting and hair trail – and not weekly meetings. I still think you handled this wrong.

    There is no reason the 12 year old needed to be at those events. If she couldn’t make it on Sunday, you should have told her that you would arrange a seperate time for her to get fitted or have a hair trial (or, you know, let her get fitting and have her hair done herself – like most people do). 

    Instead, you kicked a child out of your wedding party because her mom said she had to go to church. Yeah, OP, you owe this family an apology. 

    Post # 23
    36 posts

    So…. You have a 12 year old bridesmaid.  And her mom hasn’t got her dress and her mom didn’t drive her to your meetings… So you punish the 12 year old?  How expensive are the dresses?  Could you have found the money to get it for her?  She was probably very excited and you just crushed that.  What bummer for her.  Especially since she isnt of age to do any of the things you requested on her own.

    Post # 24
    295 posts
    Helper bee

    I feel a closure coming on in 5….4…..3….2….

    Post # 25
    634 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Honestly, a 12 year old shouldn’t be expected to wear makeup or need to pay to get her hair done. I actually haven’t heard of having hair trials for the bridesmaids before. If the mom wants to pay to get her daughter’s hair done, great, but often the mom or another relative does their hair themselves. Just my two cents. I do agree though that she should get her dress ordered ASAP if it is a particular one.

    The topic ‘Wedding Family DRAMA’ is closed to new replies.

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